Aliens Versus Predator 2

"A fate worse than being chestburstered."

SIDENOTE: I do know this game is mature for Animated Violence, Strong Language, and Blood and Gore.

Aliens Versus Predator 2 huh? Well, after seeing the movies for the first time, recently, I can say, when I found it for 20 dollars, I thought I had hit the friggen' jackpot! I mean, c'mon. Well, I am going to let you in on a little secret of mine. This game is crap!

Now, you can look at this game from two aspects and get a totally different look at it from them. One, you can see this game as an incredable FPS, with awesome gameplay and graphics. Any Alien or Predator fan will probably default to loving this.

On the other hand, you can see this as a graphic game. It's violence is sadistic. The objectives are distasteful. The Language is foul. And the graphics arn't that great.

When there are games like, say, my personal favorite, Half Life, out, there is no reason to resort to this kind of dispicable game. How is eating your victims fun and pleasureable? I certainly don't find it that way. So, obviously, I took the latter look on the game. Here is an overview on everything...

Gameplay: 6/10

Yeah, an FPS is an FPS. I gotta give it it's dues. Even as an Alien (the most graphic of all three), the gameplay is okay. Nothing new to FPS history other than the fact you can choose to be three races. Aliens, Predators, or Humans. I would suggest humans for the cleanest game, content wise.

Basically as each, you have certain objectives. This can be anything from destroying an Alien Hive, to facehugging a certain race and ''chestbursting'' from their corpses in a gruesome manner (yes, you actually bite through their chests). You have everything you need in your heads-up display, which is organized well to say the least.

As an Alien, you have no weapons besides those that come naturally. Head Biting, hitting your victim with your tail, or scrathing them to death. You go through the three stages of Alien life (possibly four). The Facehugger, Chestburster, and the Adult Alien. Becoming a Queen or Predatorian (Guardian of the Queen. I mean, what the heck? This isn't in the movies!) is hard but permisable. As an Alien, to regain health, you must ''eat'' the corpse of your victim.

As a Predator, you have a bunch of hi-tech weaponry, which includes three different modes of vision that those of us framiliar with the Predator series are well aware of. You have your basic Predator equiptment; the shoulder cannon, smart weapons, wristblades. Ya know, basic stuff. Oh, and you keep your opponent's heads as trophies. I know this concept was taken from the movies but I really don't need to do it myself in the game, you know?

As a human (or Marine), you have your basic weapons, basic gameplay, and basic objectives. It's nothing special. If you really buy this game to play as a human, you should have bought Half Life. Much better game altogether (Yes, I guess you could call me a Half Life fan boy).

So, the gameplay is alright but has nothing groundbreaking. Kinda lame for a game of this caliber (insert sarcasm here).

Graphics: 3/10

Maybe I am harsh on the graphics because I hate this game so much. Maybe I'm not and they honestly just suck. I can't say for sure but they are really are so friggen' bad.

Eye Candy? Please. Some N64 games have better graphics than this. The only thing that really looks believeable are the Aliens but that is a bad thing.

Otherwise, forget on seeing extremely empressive stuff here. The graphics are poor and nothing more.

''Oh look mom. That 'predator' looks like a dog on steroids! That 'gun' looks like a gray bananna!''

However, I recognize the fact the game was made a few years ago. Still though, for a PC game? Don't ever think you are buying this game for graphics 'cause if you are, I must suggest psychiactric treatment.

Controls: 5/10

Ahh, your basic FPS controls. They take about 10 minutes to get the hang of. Fortunately, you have about that long to fool around with 'em before the real action begins. I had no trouble mastering them and I played the game for less than 2 hours... They are a little on the simple side though so, I lowered the rating.

SIDENOTE: Please recognize that my bias against the game may have lowered the control rating.

Story: 1/10

There was a story? Oh yeah. I must have missed it.

Yeah, there is one. But from a first glance, it's pathetic compared to any movie in the Alien or Predator series. Even Resurrection has it's points but really, this just sucks, totally.

I mean, here's what I came up with, story-wise. The humans want to control the Hive. The Predators show up. They clash and have little skirmishes. Yata yata yata. I mean, c'mon, can you get more unoriginal? If you want a good AVP story, read AVP: Prey by Steve Perry. Now thats what story SHOULD be. If I was actually going to put the sacred name of Alien and/or Predator on a game, I'd at least have a kick-booty story to go with it to cover up for the poor graphics, completely unoriginal controls, old gameplay, and sick-o content. I'd probably consult with some of the directors of the movies. This, was obviously not done. If I was Ridley Scott, I'd sue!

When will they learn that a good story is needed for an FPS! Honestly, even Half Life falls in the category (GASP, my one and only fault with that great game).

Content: Negative Googleplex/10

For those of you who don't know what a googleplex is, it is a 1 with a google zeros after it. Yeah, there is nothing clean, moral, or appropriate in this game that I can see. Heck, even in Alien and Predator there were some good themes.

Ok, where to begin. Well, let me start by saying my fault with the game lies almost fully on this section. I played it for the 2 hours I did and, well, I was repulsed! Let me just list these down the line...

NOTE: If cannot handle gross things, I suggest you read no further and just scroll to the bottom and vote yes on my review. If not, Read on...

Alien is by far the most gruesome story followed by Predator. Here are some instances...

1. As a Chestburster, you start, actually start, inside you're victim's chest. Blood, guts and everything. You chew, yes, chew through the victim's body. Blood and everything splatters everywhere, not to mention the victim screams in pain and agony as you suck his last breath out. Now, I know this happens in Alien but actually commiting the act. I know there are some creeps who probably love that kind of stuff but it's WAY too graphic for me!

2. As a full grown Alien, you must kill to survive. Well, does that mean you have to decapitate and EAT your opponent's corpse? I certainly hope not. I assure you that if there was any Alien eating, it was off screen and not even referenced in the movies. However, the makers seemed to just want to push and push to make this a mindless gore fest. You eat dead bodies and as you digest, body parts of the corpse seem to ''disappear'' in a graphic manner. Fun? I certainly hope not.

3. The language is bad. You'll get more than just a few ''words'' here and there. As the Rating suggests, it definately has ''Strong Language''.

4. The is some Sexual Content present which is failed to be mentioned on the box. The marines make some derrogatory comments that degrade women which I find to be wrong (I am a guy by the way). It's not in-your-face bad which is the reason for not mentioning it on the box but it is definately present.

Those are just a few instances. There are more. Many more. I know some of the same themes are present in the movies but having to hear it or actually do it is a little worse, don't you think?

Overall: 1/10

Yes, well, this game totally stinks! Now, if content doesn't bother you, I still wouldn't rush into buying this game. It's your average FPS with Aliens, Predators, and bad graphics. If content does bother you, avoid this like the plauge. Hey, it's no Custer's Revenge but it's obscene to say the least.

For those of you who think I am a stupid person now, please, don't flame me or purposely vote 'No' for my review. I'm not saying it was a great review but try and look at it unbiasedly. Myabe you didn't like what I said but was it informative? I'll trust you to make that decision.

Well, for those who took my advice, in my opinion, you made a good choice. For those of you who want it more now, well, beware!

''This is Gandalf the Grey, last surviving member of AVP2, signing off.''

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 01/04/04