"Only Mathamaticians Need Apply"

Ugh.

Schizm: Mysterious Journey is a game that fails on several levels at once. First, though, let me concentrate on the good points:

Well, for one, the box design is excellent. Aside from having a Velcro tag on the cover's fold-out (seems unnecessary to me), the box is darn near perfect. Very understated, mostly plain black. It's simplistic, but for a Myst clone (and Schizm is most definitely a clone), it works remarkably well. It's almost a shame such a bad game was given such a cool box. In fact, the box is probably much cooler than the game.

Schizm also includes one fairly interesting concept: instead of controlling one person, you control two. You can switch back and forth and must work cooperatively to solve the game's puzzles. Actually, it's kind of surprising that the Myst games missed out on such a good idea. Of course, if they had, you can be sure that it would be better executed and more thoroughly planned out.

That's about all I can say that is really positive. The rest is mixed or worse.

First, the plot. The premise is solid - an alien world, abandoned, her devices left in perfect condition. The game manual makes repeated references to the Mary Celeste - for those unaware, this was a sailing ship discovered adrift in the late 19th century. The ship had been abandoned, apparently quite recently as they left behind half-written letters and other signs of habitation. No signs of trouble were found, nor any indication that the crew expected to be gone long; no reason to explain why the ship was abandoned. They simply vanished. Schizm latches onto this premise and milks it for all its worth, only in this case it's an alien planet instead of a ship. This is a pretty cool idea...too bad it is hamfistedly developed. Horrible acting doesn't help. I've played through the entire game, but still have only a very dim idea of what was going on.

The graphics are a mixed bag. Some of the visuals are impressive, but there is no consistent ''style'' to this alien culture - each new area seems unrelated to the last, like...well, like a cheap adventure game with no real art direction. Furthermore, these images appear to have been heavily compressed, resulting in a very pixilated appearance (disclaimer: my version was on CD - there is also a DVD version which, supposedly, has better graphics). Occasional encounters with the aliens (which, in true Star Trek(r) tradition, are humans wearing fruity robes and bearing colorful tattoos) are done via poorly-integrated live video that looks in no way as if it is a part of the background.

The biggest problem, however, is the puzzles. Schizm is *brutally* hard. It seems to assume that most gamers possess a PHD in mathematics. For most puzzles, you will need to first locate a translation key of some kind, use it to translate the alien symbols you find, and *then* try to figure out what the device does. Trial and error is often of limited help. If you don't understand the (often convoluted) logic of the puzzle, you'll never get anywhere. Be prepared to make extrapolations and calculations frequently.

Needless to say, the puzzles are, for the most part, completely arbitrary. Locked doors quite often require solving puzzles that make security at Los Alamos look tame.

The farther you go, the less interested you become in the game. The more you learn about what happened on this world, the less compelling it becomes. Sadomasochists and bona-fide geniuses looking for an insane challenge may find some joy in trudging through this snoozer. For the rest of us...if you think the game looks interesting, do yourself a favor: read the blurb on the back of the box, look at the pretty pictures (which are hundreds of times better than what you'll see in the game), close your eyes, and imagine your own adventure along these lines. Your version will inevitably be better than this one.

Reviewer's Score: 4/10, Originally Posted: 03/06/04