"Move faster, Mr. Fingers! MOVE FASTER!!"

Welcome back, Ms. Croft... we've missed you. Well, I sure haven't. The world is much better off without another Tomb Raider game - unfortunately, Eidos and Core are ready to milk their juicy hot superstar for everything she's worth. If I were them, I'd give her away to some hentai artist and pray that she gets better pay.

What's all this pomp and circumstance about?

The graphics you're running, that's what. As far as her romps on the PC go, this is Lara's greatest-looking adventure yet. Her oh-so-sexy movements are much smoother than the second adventure (which, by the way, I liked more) which makes the game a lot more fun to play. Now, don't be expecting some undeniably good images - this IS an old-school game, after all. Still, if I were you, I'd make sure your graphics card is up-to-date. She's worth it, trust me. :P

So how's her entertainment value? Well, besides a few extra tweaks to the gaming engine, nothing's really changed from the second Tomb Raider - and maybe that's a GOOD thing this time around. Your basic actions consist of general motor movements like walking, running, jumping, etc and advances to things like barrel rolls, hanging from ledges, and shooting creatures without breaking a sweat. Of course, as the tagline suggests, you will require some of the quickest quick-draw fingers this side of Tokyo in order to pull through the game without much of a scratch. Of course not all of the game is hard-ass punishment - in real Resident Evil-esque, you must solve some fairly tough puzzles which will eventually lead you to... more guards. Yeah, there's a lot of dumb guards in this game....

Thankfully, you have a good plot to play on. Once again, Lara's on some cock-and-bull raid of tombs - but this time for clues of a meteorite that was rumored to give life with its powers. Is it really somewhere on Earth? That's entirely in Lara's mind to figure out. The truth is, you won't tire of the plot unless you're really turned off by archaeologists (Indiana Jones fans, take note)!

Don't worry... this won't hurt. *wink*

Naughty girl... -_-;; Anyways, we all know that Ms. Croft's adventures are pumped full of action. What really disappoints, though, is the musical score. While it's not terrible per se, it surely doesn't deliver the right amount of emotion that a game of this caliber deserves. Thankfully, this is made up for by the accuracy in sounds. Feel the blood rush as you pump bullet after bullet into enemies that just WILL NOT DIE!! And don't forget those extra-special noises that Lara makes... it's almost too suggestive for me!

Sadly, you'll only want to experience this game twice. The one-player story will last you a while, but when you finish, all you'll have is a mad hunt for secret areas so you can access the secret level. After that... you're done. Nothing more to see here, folks... she's done her business and now it's time to rest.

What does it all mean, Basil??

Good question, Austin. If you love Lara, you'll love this game. If you love adventure puzzlers, you'll love this game. Hell, if you love British accents, you'll like this game to some degree. All it takes is a few moments to overlook the flaws, and you'll be flinging bullets like no tomorrow!

Graphics: 4/5
Gameplay/Plot: 5/5
Music/Sound: 3/5
Replay Value: 2/5
Average: 3.5 rounded up to 4 out of 5
Final Score: 8/10
A great romp through the ages!

Reviewer's Score: 8/10, Originally Posted: 05/03/04