Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing

"Just as funny as Zero Wing"

Introduction—Now, I'm sure somebody is thinking, “How did this game get a 3/10? Everyone else has given it a 1/10!” Well, this game sucks, but I will explain my rating a little later on. Big Rigs was made by a small company named Stellar Stone, who, more than likely, put forth absolutely no effort. Don't let my username fool you, I'll speak the truth here.

With all of this being said, I shall now write about Big Rigs…

Story/Plot, 1/10:
Being a racing game, there really isn't going to be much of a story. However, the back of the box promises hauling loads (illegal cargo), Brake Jammin', CB Talkin', Convoy Rollin', and staying one step ahead of the law by avoiding “The Ultimate Traffic Stopper: A Police Roadblock!”. None of those are in the game.

Graphics, 2/10:
This game is comparable to a Nintendo 64 game. However, the tail lights on the truck occasionally float off and the opponent looks eerily similar to your truck. The terrain is decent, but the buildings are pathetic. And oh yeah; your wheels don't move. One redeeming quality is that any computer made within the last 5 years could play this game with a solid frame rate.

Sound/Music, 2/10:
There is no sound during the races. NONE. I guess that means that there's no CB Talkin'. But hey, I like the techno track that loops over and over.

Gameplay, 0/10:
Where to start? The gameplay is atrocious. That's all there is to it. This is the most pathetic thing that I have ever witnessed. There are 4 trucks that you get to choose from. Now, since the game promised hauling illegal cargo, you'd think that they all have trailers, right? WRONG. Only two of the trucks have trailers. There are 5 levels to choose from, although the patch is required for one of tracks to work. Now, as a racing game, I was waiting for the other truck to battle me furiously until the finish line. But the other truck doesn't move. Even with the patch installed the truck will stop before the finish line. And after winning a race, you see a trophy with the infamous words “YOU'RE WINNER!” under it.

Now, as if that wasn't bad enough, it's barely even half of the gameplay problems of Big Rigs. Have you ever heard about physics? Well, they don't apply in Big Rigs. You can drive up 90-degree mountain slopes. Ever played a game that doesn't let you leave the level? Well, Big Rigs fails here as well. You can drive off into the grey void, as Stellar Stone didn't bother with making boundaries. Ever seen a car that was going so fast, it literally couldn't go any faster? Well, the Big Rigs can go as fast as they please (as long as it's in reverse). Hold the back arrow key down, and you'll see. But what's the best part about Big Rigs' gameplay? The largest levels of any game known to man. Without any sort of boundaries, you can drive endlessly. Police? No. Convoy Rollin'? No. Brake Jammin'? No. Illegal Cargo? No. CB Talkin'? No. Racing? No. Challenge? No. There's nothing positive about the gameplay. There's barely any gameplay at all.

Comedy, 9/10:
Here's where Big Rigs shines. The hilarity that this game provides is nearly endless (if you're like me). I can just load up this game, play any level, and just laugh my ass off. Hell, I laugh when I go into the settings and see that there isn't a “High” option for any graphics. But of course, the most hilarious part of all: YOU'RE WINNER! Really, this game is pretty funny.

Replay, 1/10:
The only reason to play it again is to laugh at it some more.

Pros:
+ YOU'RE WINNER
+ Quit button
+ Doesn't cost a whole lot

Cons:
- The other 99% of the game

The only reason this game deserves higher than a 1/10 is because it's hilarious. It's so hilarious that it gets a 3/10. It may seem high, but this game always gives me a good laugh. Seriously, if you find this game for a couple bucks in a bargain bin, pick it up. Just make sure to steer clear of Stellar Stone's other games.

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 08/19/05