$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
%%%%%%% %%%%%%% %% %%%%%% %% %% %% %%%%%%%% % %%%%%%
%% %% %% %% %% %% % %% %% %%% %% %% % %% %
%% %% %% %% %% %% %% %% %%%% %% %% % %%
%% %% %% %% %% %% %% %% %% %% %% %% %%
%%%%%% %%%% %%%%%%%%%% %%%% %%%%%%%% %% %%%% %% %%%%
%% %% %% %% %% %% %% %% %%% %% %%
%% %% %% %% %% %% %% %% %% %% %%
%% %% %% %% % %% %% %% %% %% %% % %%
%% %%%%%%% %% %% %%%%%% %% %% %% %% %% %%%%%%
%%%% %% %% %%%%%%% %%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%
%% %% %% %% %% %% %%
by: %% %% %% %% %% %% %%
killermonkeys %% %% %% %% %% %% %%
%% %% %% %% %%%% %%%% %%
%% %% %% %% %% %% %%
%% % %% %% %% %% %% %%
%% %%% %% %% %% % %% %%
v.1 %%%%%% %% %%%% %%%%%%% %%%%%% %%
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
jeez no more ascii art in the who stupid faq. How did those bbs kids do it?
$$$$$
$$$$$ Intro
$$$$$
In case you don't remember what you clicked on, this is the Pleasant's Quest
FAQ for the recently released Peasant's Quest, from the makers of other games,
Videlectrix. Mostly the one with the cheat in a tire, and some cement factory
game.
This one looks like, smells like, and yes, the floppies even taste like the
classic Sierra Games games, King's Quest, Space Quest, and best of all Leisure
Suit Larry. Unlike those games, it's new.
It has the patented interface of pictures and text with a classy little > text
prompt. Not to duplicate the other thousands of reviews on the net, but this
revolutionary interface allows you to walk around in a fully two dimensional
environment that is diagonally slanted so it's nearly a whole other dimension.
When you walk you can get closer or further away from things which allows you
to interact with them as you naturally would in real life. If you don't believe
me here's an example:
In other games like Doom 3, you might be close to the glass of water, but
unless you want to shoot the glass you have to remember what button you need to
press to get it or drink it or throw it or steal it. In this game, rather than
remembering buttons you remember /words/ which let do you thinks like "steal
glass" or "throw glass into radioactive oven" I don't need to tell you that in
this case 10 buttons is way way easier than the normal 1 button, and it's easy
to see how this will revolutionize the game playing experience you will have.
The game has a points and goal system where the points are awarded for doing
specifical "actions" which advance your character to his ultimate goal. Like
other video games, this goal is killing the bad guy. There are 150 points, and
if you do everything in the game, you get all 150 points. This walkthrough will
help you get those 150 points.
$$$$$
$$$$$ Plot Intro
$$$$$
Not to paraphrase the first few screens of the game, but you are Rather
Dashing, a peasant who finds his cottage burninated and all his goods and
services rendered by the awesome power of TROGDOR after a trip to Scalding
Lake, near Quebec. Having Jack, you swear revenge on the Wingaling Dragon and
his kiaroskiro shadings. You go to the east where the dragon lives but a knight
stops you and tells you only peasants can be permitted to see the dragon.
So the real goal of the game is to mostly be a peasant.
$$$$$
$$$$$ MAP
$$$$$
Get It
======
Ok if you didn't get the map, here's a hint. Go to your stupid burninated house
and get it ("look", "look cottage", and "get map" for the neuron deprived). As
I said I nearly got carpel tunnel making the stupid title and that was just
some percent signs. I'm not going to the hospital for the internet.
One note about the map though, assuming it's the first thing you get, you will
only be able to see stuff you've been to the screen for, and the entire map is
made of screens, 16 total. Just go to them all to get the whole dealy do. Watch
out for the kerrek or you'll get bonked into the ground though. There are only
two special screens that aren't on the map. I'll deal with them later.
Don't Got it?
=============
Oh yeah, if you don't have the map, type map and it says:
"We are neither confirming nor denying the presence of a map in this game, but
irridisregardless, you don't have one."
Which is funny, because irridisregardless is something your teacher would slap
your knuckles for. (She would also slap your knuckles for ending a sentence
with a preposition which I just did).
Here Be Dragons
===============
Like the earth it appears that Peasantdom is actually round, or rather
cylindrical, in that if you go north or south it will eventually wrap around,
and other than the river that sits between you in some screens it's good to
keep this in mind to get from point a to point b.
$$$$$
$$$$$ Areas!
$$$$$
This is sort of stupid, but all the walkthroughs do it, and who am I to
question tradition? I'm the KILLERMONKEYS that's who. So Areas:
***BIG IMPORTANT NOTE****
Type where to find the name of the place where you are.
***END IMPORTANT NOTE****
Mountain Pass
=============
There's a knight and a sign that probably says trogdor in crappy-graphicese
and... well, look for yourself. You can always talk to the knight to see how
close to peasantry you are. You start out in short pants and a t-shirt which he
finds offensive.
River and Stone
===============
The name says it all. River and stone. What's here? A river and a stone.
Anything else? Sure, but in the end, still, river and stone.
Yellow Tree
===========
This is a uhhh yellow tree. If you look, it says "Rushing river b/w yellow
tree." Now I don't know about you, but to me "b/w" means black and white, and
while this is pretty black and white in it's boringness, it's certainly not
black and white. I mean, it's got a friggin yellow tree right there. Obviously
a bug.
" " aka Magical Waterfall
=========================
Wow, this place was so freakin boring they decided to not name it, or the
developers were a bit rushed. I think so because it seemed like they were a
little stressed in the preview and usually previews are all the coolest stuff,
and if them getting pissed is the coolest stuff, that doesn't say much for the
game quality. Although I have been in many a job where the coolest thing was
pissing people off. I degrease. I'm gonna call it Magical Waterfall
One really funny and buggy thing to this place from north side, the illustrious
COMPUTER WIZARD, my pal, found that you can actually walk behind the waterfall.
Before you go crazy walking behind the walterfall realize that it's not really
so cool because it's more like walking off the screen and not being able to get
back on than actually walking behind the waterfall. More of a "zero" than a
"hero"
Burninated Trees
================
There's a very gothy black tree that has a lantern hanging from it. Only you
can prevent forest fires kids!
Outside Giant Inn
=================
Yeah, this Inn is pretty Giant. It's mostly a screen with an inn, and until you
get the Innkeeper out of the lake you can't go in the inn, so your outside the
inn.
Pebble Lake West (East)
================
One of the top views of pebble lake, this originally features a fisherman who
isn't getting any bites until you help him. After that it doesn't feature
anyone.
This lake says it's peeble lake west, but so does the other half on the western
side, so I'm going to call it Pebble Lake West (East) instead of Pebble Lake
West.
Outside Baby Lady Cottage
=========================
This Cottage is pretty much the only cottage in the land which is still
standing which has got to suspicious anyway, but hey, a cottage is a cottage,
not all cottages are burninated, right? Neatly it has crunchberry bushes
outside, which are the world's only source of the tasty breakfast time treat.
You can go in any time.
Old Well
========
Old well is one of the most happenin' spots in peasantdom, as can be evidenced
by the well with many features and the big proportionate tree on the left. A
great place to live too if you get sick of the game and decide to start a
commune.
Archery Range
=============
The Archery Range has even more stuff than the old well, but is less suited to
agriculture. It's got a guy at the archery stand who's pretty freakin
depressed, until you advance the plot, 3 targets and lots of arrows, which
can't be gotten.
Pebble Lake West
================
This is the real pebble lake west, not like that fisherman toting imposter to
the east. This screen has some errumahah pebbles. Nice, huh?
For fun, try to get the berries in the bush.
Kerrek Tracks 2
===============
This screen has The Kerrek and kerrek tracks. He will kill you so don't try to
get friendly with him. You should smite him instead, which you should read the
walkthrough to find out how to do.
Kerrek Tracks 1
===============
This screen also has the Kerrek and kerrek tracks. Same as above. If you dote,
he will smote.
The Kerrek's not always there, by the way, some times he's at Kerrek Tracks 2.
He's only one Kerrek, jeez. Anyway, I thought the Trogdor smote the Kerrek and
all was laid to burnination. Obviously somebody didn't do their homework.
Wavy Tree
=========
Wow, the artists are obviously on drugs, because this screen has not only wavy
cracked out trees like Doctor Seuss, but it also has a naked dude half way up a
tree. I don't know how Naked dudes get up trees but I guess it happens, I'm
glad I'm on this side. The dude's name is Naked Ned by the way, which you can
find out if you "talk tree".
Your Burninated Cottage
=======================
Ahh, this is where it all started. And ended. And burninated from the looks of
it. There's a nice map here, if you look at the cottage you should see it. I
guess you have video game amnesia since you need the stupid thing to figure out
where you live, but you've been playing video games so long you don't notice
things like that do you, dave the drone?
That Mud Puddle
===============
Well most of the time that mud puddle isn't very muddy, it's more cakey and
dirty. Come back when it's not.
Outside Mysterious Cottage
==========================
This place would give even thelma the creeps. I mean, with all those lush green
pixels and the door that's not already open, and the thatched roof and the
outline of an omnious tree that moves when you're not looking. Jinkies! I'm
scared now, too.
Actually this is one of the trickest spots in the game but please read the walk
through to figure out how to solve the Mystery of the Mysterious Cottage!
Jhonka's Cave
=============
Yeah, Jhonka's scared of the Kerrek. Eventually he comes out and you get his
dimes.
For funniness, talk to Jhonka about trogdor.
That Hay Bale
=============
One of the nicest screens if you ask me. A simple, rustic scene, tree on the
left, bale of hay on the right, done in the classic style reminescient of the
EGA Masters.
Poor Gary's Glen
================
Man, this is one funky horse, he's stinky, ugly, and he's got assflies. Ouch.
When I imagine him, I imagine him talking like Eddie Murphy from Shrek, in
fact, I pretty much imagine every four legged work beast of burden that way.
Oh, the things they say! So funny. You know, Eddie Murphy was a shoe-in for
that role, after all the experience he got really getting deep inside the
emotional center of pets and livestock in the modern remake of the classic
Doctor Dolittle and the sequel Doctor Dolittle 2.
Oh, yeah, and besides Gary there's a stump. Look at it. It's stumplicious. If I
were suspicious, I'd be suspicious they were making a wee little pun. Those
programmers! Always like a good pun.
Arrow Grove (off Map)
=====================
After you scare Gary with the monster maskus, you will be able to enter here
from Poor Gary's Glen. It has Dongolev shooting arrows at the tree. Don't step
in front of him while he's shooting, or you'll die which is one of a very few
ways to do so in this part of the game. Say "haldo" and he goes to the archery
range to hang with his bro, and you can grab arrows off the screen.
$$$$$
$$$$$ Walkthrough
$$$$$
Talk to the Knight
==================
The knight tells you that to pass, you must pass three peasants tests:
STINK, DRESS, ON FIRE like a peasant. So off you go. If you want more plot
"talk about stink" and he tells you that to stink you should get the Kerrek
involved. "Talk about dress" yields the less informative advice of getting some
brown robes. Doi. "Talk about on fire" gets a suggestion to use horse grease
for a slow, controlled burn. Obviously it's no prob here to be on fire.
Get the map
===========
From the mountain pass, your house is one screen south and three screens west.
Go there, and look, look cottage, and get map, or just get map if you're
racing.
Get Pebbles - 1pt
===========
Go east to the pebble lake west screen and get the pebbles on the shore.
Baby Lady's House
=================
Go to the baby lady's cottage, the baby lady inside gives you a quest to get
her riches back from Jhonka.
Get Chicken Feed - 1pt
================
In the Baby Lady's house is some feed on a shelf, and you can totally get it.
Get the Supa Trinket - 2pt
====================
As you leave, you get told that there's a little sumin' sumin' in the yard for
you. Of course, the crunch berries ate it like they eat the roof of an
unsuspecting kid's mouth. Youch! Anyway "search bush" at all four bushes, and
you get a super trinket. Somebody's always asking me for mine.
Talk to the Archer - 2pt
==================
Go north to the archery range, and talk to the archer, Mendelev.
If you talk to the archer at the archery he will ask you to say haldo to his
brother dongolev if you see him. Cool, no?
**Note** if you do this before you go to the baby lady's house and get the supa
trinket, for some reason it's only worth 1 pt. If you do it afterwards, it's
worth 2 pt. I don't know why but I ended up with a 149pt game this way. Do it
second, get money.
Put Pebbles in Bucket - 2pt
=====================
Go north again to the Old Well, and put the pebbles in the bucket, then use
crank to crank it back up, which gets you a Monster Maskus.
Use that Mask - 2pt
=============
Enough goofing. Go to the glen of poor gary, and use the mask, this will scare
poor gary, (hence the name) into breaking on through to the other side.
Say Haldo - 3pt
=========
Don't whatever you do, go in front of Dongolev, unless whatever you like doing
is dying because you will. Say haldo to him, and he'll go to his bro at the
archery stand.
Get an arrow - 2pt
============
Get a nice sharp arrow from the tree, and you'll have an arrow to call your
own.
Get a Season Pass - 2pt
=================
Go back to the stupid archer's stand and get a season pass for the archery game
(until you win it) by giving them the super trinket.
Win the Archery Game - 3pt (19 total)
====================
Ok egg-for-brains, the archery game goes like this, press left right arrows for
moving bow, press space bar once for left wiggly thing, and again for the right
wiggly thing. You have to have both of the blue arrows on either side of the
gauge at the red bar. The left will go up to it, the right will continue and
come back down, and press again. The up and down guage determines the height of
the shot.
The wind from shot to shot and is indicated by the scarf on a stick. If it is
at parallel to the ground that's "strong" wind, and if it's 45 degrees, that's
"weak" wind, and if it's not moving, that's "no" wind.
If it's strong wind, line up the arrow with the outer white circle, closer to
the blue on the target on the opposite side so if the arrow points left the the
right edge, and vice versa.
If it's weak wind, same thing line up the arrow with the inner white ring on
the opposite side.
If it's no wind then line up with the center. Doi.
When you win you get a superfuntime bow.
ARROWED! - 5pt
========
Go find the Kerrek and use your new found bow powers. No prob. Now, get close.
Smells like Kerrek Action - 10pt
=========================
Look at that dead Kerrek. Stinks, no? Well you can have your own in an easy to
carry take home version, called belt buckle of Kerrek! Get it now!
Muddle - 2pt
======
The corny rain should have inspired you go check out the mud puddle. And if it
didn't shame on you. You'd shrivel up and die in the old school before these
stupid walkthroughs. Man. Go jump in the puddle.
Hide in Hay - 3pt
===========
Go over to the hay, and hide in it. Miraculous hay balls batman! it sticks.
Get some Riches - 7pt
===============
You uhh, don't know this but the game doesn't care and this is a walk through
anyway, but jhonka is now out of his cave (no longer scared of kerrek) and has
his riches out too, but you need to skeeze that cheeda for your baby lady.
Go due south in the hay hideout and get some richez.
Yeah you got riches
Detour
======
This isn't necessary, but it's funny as hell, so it's in the faq. Before you
give the riches, go to the lake and say "throw baby" or "throw baby in lake."
Hahahaha. Isn't that funny? This is the GameFAQs FAQ. And uhh, I told you to go
there. So you didn't misread it. I freakin' told you to do it. I think it will
be a race condition like this that crashes the simulation of the world we're
living it and finally allows us to break free of the control of computers. But,
obviously not this one. Oh well, we can only see how deep the rabbit hole goes.
You can do this on any of the baby related items now (well and old man).
Give them to the BabyMom - 5pt
========================
No not you baby mom. go to the cottage and give her them, and she'll give you a
stupid baby. That sucks... or... does it?
Feed the fish - 2pt
=============
You can do this at pretty much any point so why not now? You're in the hood. Go
to Pebble Lake West East and go the the sandier part of the shore and throw
feed in lake. This will catch the old dude some fishes.
Three tries and a little baby - 15pt (really 3x 5pts)
=============================
You can't eat them (not in this game) so you might as well throw them in the
lake, no? Now go back to pebble lake west and throw baby in there. He fishes
out... a soda can! Great.
Now try to toss it in the well. Crank it back up and... meatball sub.
Now go over to the Inn and show baby to him. He loves it so much he gives you a
stupid bunch of pills.
Dilapidated Cottages - 2pt
====================
It's time to dump that lump of trouble, go to the mysterious cottage! Take a
good look around the mysterious cottage and you'll note that it has some shoddy
stonework, so try to get a stone and reveal a hole.
Deploy Q-Baby -5pt (half way baby)
=============
Now you can put the baby in the hole and the little toddler just off and
leaves. Fine. I didn't need him anyway. You get a nice story on what a bad
parent you were though. I guess the baby didn't care after all.
Get some Threads - 10pt
================
Just open 'er up and grab some robes.
Close Drawer - 1pt
============
1 point for Politeness.
Wear robes - 3pt
==========
Finally a chance to get your peasant on. You're nearly there.
Rest tonight for tomorrow we die - 3pt
================================
Go back to the inn and get a room or a cot in this case, rest up.
Wake up and get some Rub - 2pt
========================
When you wake, to the pantry and look in it. You'll see old man rub, which
sounds like just the thing for your crappy cot back, so grab it. Or don't.
Seriously though, get the horse grease
Out the door - 3pt
============
Figure out how to walk out the door with it on, which is just a key remapping
and you're smart so you can do it. You get points for that.
Get your burn on - 10pt
================
Well doused as you now are with horse grease, get a flame job by standing near
the lantern due south.
YOU ARE A FULL FLEDGED PEASANT BABY!!!
I don't think the fire actually affects you as a peasant since they seem pretty
capable of burninating all day if necessary, but it may so I'm not making any
guarantees.
To the bridge! - 7pt
==============
The knight recognizing your peasantatude lets you pass.
Insert Disk 2
=============
Yeah this is a multidisk game.
Climb the cliff - 3pt
===============
Well, you gotta climb this cliff and avoid these bad little rocks and man, it's
crazy. Just avoid the rocks which isn't hard, genius, and get to the top.
Trogdor awaits.
Pretty scene on the cliff top, though, I like the purple cave. They're so hard
to find in that shade.
Green Dude - 5pt
==========
Give him your meatball sub, and he'll let you by. Otherwise answer a
trog-trivia question (to follow).
He gives you a trog-shield.
Other Green Dude - 5pt
================
Give him your soda, or answer a question. Soda's easier. And it came from a
lake so you're at best posioning him and at worse shutting him up. Sounds good
to me.
He gives you a trog-helmet.
Other other Green Dude - 5pt
======================
This poor sap speaks of Lambago the Lower Backinator. Oourch. Doesn't sound
fun. Anyway you give him some pills and he gives you a:
TROG-sWORD
The only thing out of this pile of crap you'll use.
Anyway On to the Trogdor
******************************
*Trogdor Double Boss Showdown*
******************************
First throw your sword This will get you 7 pts for showing him who's boss.
After he wakes up, talk to him.
Now uhh...
well....
if this is your first time through, then sit back and read, otherwise, no you
don't beat him this way. I'm not a freakin genie. But you do get a 150pt game.
You know that's worth it.
#####
##### Trog-trivia
#####
The stupid green dudes ask several randomish questions which you have the
option of answering such as:
First Green Dude's Questions
============================
What does Mendelev have you tell Dongolev?
Answer: Haldo
Who is the only creature that Jhonka fears?
Answer: The Kerrek
What did you win from the archery game?
Answer: SuperTime FunBow TM
Second Green Dude's Questions
=============================
What was the old man's pantry full of?
Answer: Old Man
Which of these letters is the letter C?
Answer: C (the one with the c second)
How many berry bushes in there are the whole kingdom of peasantry?
Answer: 5
Third Green Dude's Questions
============================
To whom did the robe you're wearing originally belong?
Answer:Naked Ned
What were the color of the leaves of the tree that grows by the well?
Answer: Orange
What direction does the river run?
Answer: Northeast to southwest
#####
##### Deaths
#####
In a game where death is certain there are a few ways to die besides beating
the game.
-Kerrek smashing you into the ground.
-Answering yes to Jhonka.
-Getting in the way Dongolev's arrow
-Getting hit by a rock on the cliff
-Turned into a Folk Singer
-Turned into Ron Cumberdale
-Turned into a Skeleton
#####
##### Credits
#####
Totally credit to The Brothers Chapmans, and the others that I'm sure exist in
the homestar runner crew for bein cool and not bastardizing their product and
still (hopefully) making some cash for their effort.
Uhh Other than that, credit to myself for the ascii art, spelling, grammar,
editing, jokes, lack of jokes, and content. I don't care if it's reused, so
copy left.
If there are errors, omissions, or other sights I have not seen please shoot me
an email at:
spacecow ayzat mis dizot net
