NeoPets

"NeoPets.com...Addiction at it's nastiest"

NeoPets.com...currently the most popular Virtual Pet site on the Internet. How did I come to NeoPets, you ask? Well, in April of 2001, someone came to the Pokemon board, mentioning something about NeoPets.com, and they had only one warning..VERY ADDICTIVE. So, I head to the site, and sign up, picking myself a Shoyru...then, the addiction began...

Graphics (Or, the ''Hey! I can see this Magic Eye thingy!!'' category)
8/10

Well, to start on the graphics, let's just say...they are excellent. Over 40 NeoPets and each one is different. Add in the hundreds, even thousands of items that exist in the world of Neopia, and you've got one team of very tired artists. Each NeoPet can be given one of four colours-red, blue, yellow and green. In addition to these four, there are lots of paintbrushes to give your NeoPets an interesting colour, or even costume. There are lots of different portraits for your NeoPet, some when they're happy, when they're sad, when they're injured, and when they're angry. Even though older players may find the graphics a little ''cutesy-poo'', if you get down to the core of the game, you'll find that it's actually a pretty darn fun game.

Sound (Or, the ''Turn off that damn Raffi record!'' category)

6/10

The sound is very limited on NeoPets.com, usually only used in the Flash games. The sound is not that great either, but sound isn't that important, as the main focus is in the site itself. If you're looking for an online game with great sound, accompanied by an amazing musical score...don't stop here. Keep looking.

Gameplay (Or, the ''I spent 100 dollars just so you could play with the cardboard BOX?!!?'' category)

??/10

The gameplay is a bag of Bits and Bites, to say the least. As the old guy in the commercial says, ''Bits and Bites. Every handful is different. Yeah.'' Ok, maybe that's a bad example. What I'm trying to say here is that there are almost too many different things to do that you may not have time to do all of them. NeoPets.com is very cruel on slow computers, especially with the Flash games. Shops have certain restock times about every 15 minutes, where they put a bunch of merchandise on their shelves at once. At that time, all hell breaks loose as over 5000 people rush to get food items, faeries, battle items, and other miscellaneous objects. When the dust has settled, the people with fast computers and DSL connections are left with all the goods, while the people who have slower computers and connections are left dazed and confused. There are over 11 million users on NeoPets, and there are those who stay up all night, waiting for that restock so they can hoard all the faeries. Flash games are impossible to play on slow computers, with the few exceptions of Meerca Chase, Pokematch, and other little games.

Ok, now I mentioned NP in the last sentence, and you may be wondering what the *expletive* it is. Basically, NP is the currency of NeoPets. There are so many ways to earn NP, and even more ways to spend it. You can open a shop and sell items you've found in Neopia (where the Neopets live) to make a profit. There is also a Pokemon-style Battledome, in which you spend your hard earned NP so you can whoop another NeoPet into kingdom come.

Sorry, there are no cheats here, so don't bother. People can and will try to scam you out of NP, so all you have to do is report them and they will be banned (Usually they come back as another username, until they do an IP ban) It's pretty pathetic actually. People are too lazy to earn fake money, so they spend time that they could use to earn it thinking up ways to steal it from someone else. Weirdos.

Finally, NeoPets has sponsors which you sign up for in order to get rare items or something like that, in exchange for receiving hundreds of sponsor e-mails a week. They had a discount card where you would sign up for sponsors and you would get a card that can be used as often as you want to get up to 25% off on an item in the main shops. Then, some dummy on the NeoPets staff thought, ''Hey, let's take away the card that the users have had to put up with craploads of sponsor e-mail in order to get, to introduce a new one that can only get you up to 10% off!'' Jerk. I want to go over there and show the person where he can shove his dicount card..

Anyways, the score for gameplay depends on..
A)Your computer speed
B)Your Internet speed
C)Your willingness to refresh a page over and over to get the item you want
and
D)Your willingness to put up with hundreds of sponsor e-mails just to get a rare item. If you possess all of those, then you are able to play NeoPets!

Replay Value (Or, the ''Hey, let's see how long it takes this game to be eaten by ants!!'' category.)

N/A

What? Replay value? That's very funny. Are you trying to be a comedian? What's that? ...You're serious?? Well, there's one little thing I forgot to mention. YOU CAN'T BEAT IT. There is no ''The End'' screen, or any ''Congratulations!'' black screens. (1942...) You just keep playing until you get so sick of it you chuck your NeoPets in a dumpster.(Not actually possible, but maybe..)

Finally, the ever-important question--RENT OR BUY?

What? You can't buy it, it's free. Go away.

So, in conclusion, maybe this has given you a little bit of insight as to whether you should stay with your regular life, or enter a world where the cost is your time, and addiction is your only motivation. It's your choice.

P.S. This review is dedicated to those who lost their lives, and the families of the victims in the September 11th tragedy. We pray for you..

Reviewer's Score: 8/10, Originally Posted: 09/21/01, Updated 09/21/01