Kingdom of Loathing

"Such greatness that you won't find anywhere else"

*sigh* Neopets? Runescape? Screw all those other games. This one is truly a sight for sore eyes. It's cleverness, class, style and wittiness will have you chuckle a few times along the way, and have you addicted.

Graphics... 7/10?
Kingdom of Loathing isn't particularly THE traditional Online-only/web game. First off, the graphics. There really aren't any unless you count the crudely, hand-drawn drawings... but then again, these stick-figures just grow on you, and they perfectly fit the style and mood of the game. And most items/equipments/etc. come with their own crudely drawn drawing. Just don't expect eye candy… unless you count those women on those calendars in your clan. ;9

Story- 6/10
Classic. But not in the best way. Mainly, the king has been kidnapped by the Naughty Sorceress. And that's about it. Hardly any of the other quests even pertain to the Naughty Sorceress. But still, compared to any of the other free online games, that's pretty much a novel.

Gameplay... 8/10
You have three basic stats; Muscle, Mysticality, and Moxie. Then you have sub-stats... sorta. You use fortitude, muscleboundness, enchantedness, and other randomly assorted worded sub-stats to increase your basic stats. Simple right? RIGHT. Get enough sub-stats to increase base stats to increase your level. Then there's the equipment. You have about 6 equipment slots; Hat, Weapon, Pants, and 3 Accessories. There's also Familiar equipment… if you have a familiar, which are a variety of “pets” that do their own thing and can gain weight too.

Anyway, now you're on your way to the plentiful quests/side-quests. Main quests range from collecting a larvae to destroying an evil aura in a crypt. In order to obtain main quests, all you have to simply do is find the Council of Loathing, and if you have upgraded your sub-stats to stronger stats to another level, you'll get a new quest. The quests the Council gives you have much variety to them, and some of them take some thinking to finish them.

Then there's the combat system. This is where Kingdom of Loathing falls just a little short. You get 40 adventures a day and you navigate yourself around the map and clicking on the area that you need or want to adventure in. Once in said area, you may encounter an enemy. Enemies range from far and wide and although you'll be fighting the same ones over again, this is where some of the game's originality kicks in. Now you have a few choices here; attack with your weapon, use a skill, or run away. Click on one or the other and based on your stats, you'll do something. Sometimes fights can be one-sided but some of them provide enough challenge to keep you interested.

Now option B for exploring an area. If you did not fight an enemy, then you have reached some other page detailing something random that happened to you. Sometimes you'll gain items, gain meat (currency for Kingdom of Loathing), and whatnot. After doing all this, you have just used up 1 adventure. Then you'll have the option of exploring that area again. It's pretty straight-forward. You can also eat in order to get more adventures or even cook two different foods to combine one piece of food! Or you can get drunk by drinking, what else, booze! Eventually you get too drunk and can't adventure… or rather you would waste your adventures but when tomorrow comes around you won't be drunk anymore and you'll have those adventures! You can also gain more adventures other ways.

Interactions among other players: 9/10
A player may join/create a clan in which other players may also join. These clans also hold up pretty well. You have the message boards, the training room, war room, and all that other good stuff. There's also a clan stash in which clan members give and take items. On paper… this sounds horrible, especially with some people who just might try to steal everything, but actually, it works out pretty well if you a great clan with great members.

You can also message people and send items. When a person registers onto Kingdom of Loathing, they're assigned some sort of a number and all you have to do is memorize it and give it to other people… or you can just give them your username. Whatever you prefer.

There's also the Chat, but there's a catch. If you want to “Enter the Chat”, then you'll have to prove yourself literate. To prove yourself literate, you'll just have to take a small test testing your grammar, which in turn, is a very nice touch.

And finally, there's also “buffs” which other players can use to buff up themselves or even other players which comes in very handy to help newer players out, or yourself.

Overall: 10
All in all, at the end of the day, Kingdom of Loathing wins. Its simplicity allows new players to get into it and has some hidden depth for players longing for more. So, give it a try, hell, it's free you cheap bastard.

Reviewer's Score: 10/10, Originally Posted: 08/01/05