Kool-Aid Man

"Fruit Juice Jar Saves Pool From Monsters, Film At 11"

Welcome to the pinnacle of Atari game irreverence.

The ''story'', if one would call it that, for this game is fairly simple. The Thirsties, a horde of orb-like creatures with an unquenchable thirst for liquid, have invaded your backyard. And now they're trying to drink all the water from your pool with their protruding straw-like tongues. The horror! Who can save your pool from being drained of all it's precious H20? Is there any hope for your backyard?!

::large juice pitcher with smiley face bursts through brick wall::

''Oh yeah!''

Of course, there is. You've got Kool-Aid Man. Why else would they name the game after him?

The gameplay is about as logical as you'd imagine it to be. You control Kool-Aid Man as the Thirsties run back and forth across the screen. Your mission is to wait for one to begin to drink from the pool below, and then whack into him, thus killing the creature. You'll have 60 seconds per level to exterminate about 30 of them, or at least until before your pool is drained of all the water. However, if they aren't leeching from the pool and you make contact, you'll temporarily lose control of Kool-Aid Man as he bounces around the screen. The same thing happens when he comes into contact with a wall. And of course, should Kool-Aid Man bounce into something else while being carelessly tossed around the screen, he'll only bounce some more. This, of course, leads to endless frustration. Thankfully, every now and then, the game has mercy upon your pour punch flavoured soul and releases a ''K'', ''S'', or ''W'' (standing for Kool-Aid, Sugar, and Water respectively, obviously the ingredients in a glass of Kool-Aid). Should you grab one, Kool-Aid Man will grow in size and become invincible to the Thirsties vicious abuse of his bulbous form. After you complete one stage, you move onto the next, where the Thirsties only become speedier, and thus more annoying. Also, to add more joy to your life, your level of pool water carries over into the next stage. You'll most likely be tearing your hair out by the third or fourth stage.

Sound and Graphic wise, you've got just what you'd expect from an Atari 2600 game. The Thirsties and Kool-Aid Man's small form are almost exactly alike, aside from the Thirsties' eyes and Kool-Aid's pitcher handle and spout. Super Kool-Aid Man has a bit more detail, but we ain't talkin' 'bout no Van Gogh style; more like Picasso. The sounds amount to little more than generic, trademark Atari blips and bleeps, and unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately?) the game doesn't make any attempt to emulate the sound of Kool-Aid Man's signature ''Oh yeah!''

After your first attempt at the game, you'll probably find yourself playing through a few more times, simply out of the novelty of the gameplay. And of course, one mustn't forget the novelty of a game made for a fruit juice mascot. If judged as simply a game, I wouldn't score this any higher than say... 6, since much better Atari games do exist. However, due to the simple oddity of being able to play as Kool-Aid Man with the goal of saving your pool, the game gets jacked up a bonus point or two. If you feel as compelled as I did to try this out, this, like most other Atari games, is available freely (and legally may I add) at the AtariAge website. Truly a Retro antique.

Oh yeah.

Reviewer's Score: 7/10, Originally Posted: 03/01/02, Updated 03/01/02