Skate Boardin': A Radical Adventure

"If Atari had a Seal of Quality, this game wouldn't get it"

At a time when video games and skate boarding were both really popular, some video game designer thought it would be a great idea to make a game that had both elements. He decided to add in ramps, insane stunts, and phat beats to make an all around innovative video game. Then he decided it'd take too much time to complete it all and made this game instead.

Skateboardin' is a repetitive, dull, piss poor excuse for a video game that has very little in common with skateboarding. There's a bad side to the game too. Oh yeah, the goal of the game is to get to school, but when you do, the game just stops. No next level, no congratulatory messages, no credits, it just stops. I guess the eight year old who designed this was late for school and couldn't add it in later.

Gameplay: 1/10 - I guess the guy who made this game imagined kids would drool with delight when they discovered you could go on ramps, similar to how some moron got rich off of pogs many years back. Basically, you go around looking for your school and skate past lots of gray rectangles sometimes brickwalls. Less entertaining than Martin Laurence in ''Black Knight''. It will make you say da-yamn Gena. Another thing, you will NEVER need to hit the jump button _unless_ you want to crash.

Graphics: 2/10 - The brown slanty things are supposed to be ramps, I'm not too sure what the gray retangular things are, maybe pipes, maybe sidewalks, but I know that sometimes you can go through them and sometimes you can't. The skateboarder himself looks like a faceless Screech from ''Saved by the Bell'' surfing on a brown piece of line.

Sound: 1/10 - I know I am usually harsh on reviews and compare games of the past to games of today, but the sound on this game is so bad that it can be compared to using a public restroom _without_ making a toilet paper nest to sit upon. You hear three slow ''dum, dum, dum'''s and then a couple of fast ''dum, dum, dum'''s and the process is repeated until you dive headfirst into an empty swimming pool. About as aurally pleasing as listening to a car alarm.

Final Thought: Atari is a company that's been known to hand out bad games like candy and while it's no E.T., Skateboardin' is still damn bad. Games like this are why the Atari CEO is so poor that when he goes to KFC, he has to like _other_ people's fingers.

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 05/31/02, Updated 05/31/02