Basic Math

"Oh boy oh boy! I can't wait to go home and play...Basic Math?"

Granted, this game came out a long, long time ago, and the concept of home videogames was relatively new. But anyone smart enough to program a videogame should also be smart enough to know that kids would rather eat a handful of dog crap than play a game about math. "But hold on", says the Atari programmer..."Atari makes math fun!" "Wrongo sucker!", says I!! Math is not fun sitting in school and it is NOT fun sitting at home either, period! Just because the people in the Atari catalogue appear to be having a good time, they are in fact in EXCRUCIATING AGONY!!

I remember seeing this "game", mixed in with the other games awaiting its next unsuspecting victim and feeling sorry for the poor kid whose parents thought they might like to receive this for their birthday. Lamenting the passing of another birthday with nothing to show for it but a plastic cartridge containing all the fun of remedial math, our hapless hero shuffles off to his room and falls to his knees clutching the cartridge above his head and shouting, "Why God why?!" surrounded by little goblins wearing bib overalls. This nightmare scenario, painted by my slightly overactive adolescent imagination, still haunts me to this day.

BASIC REVIEW:

Graphics--Math equations on a plain empty field...no dancing bears, or even a plus sign doing the "thumbs up" like in your school math book. 1/10

Sound--does the sound of the cartridge smashing against the wall count? 1/10

Fun--nope. 1/10

Packaging--the package is sort of fun, so therefore very misleading. I remember once almost being seduced by it's colorful artwork, which promised hours of fun inside, but thankfully came to my senses upon re-reading the title, and threw it back into the fiery pit from whence it came. 1/10

Basic Math = Basic Trash

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 05/19/04