"Fire Away..."

Albert Einstein once said, “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure of the former.” Arguably the greatest mind of the past century, Einstein summed up one of the most common aspects of our existence. Despite our vast advancements in technology and medicine, some of us still get our kicks by pulling off crazy stunts and risking our lives for the pure rush of adrenaline that flows through our veins. People still skydive, bungee jump, run with the bulls, and participate countless other madcap antics to keep themselves entertained. While some of these feats are truly sights to behold, one can't help but marvel over the risks that some will take to get high on life. But despite the seemingly hardcore stunts that are featured all over the media, we can't forget about the truly dangerous pastimes from a bygone era. Thus the Human Cannonball comes to the forefront of the Atari, a game featuring one of the most dangerous stunt concepts ever conceived.

It's a clear and breezy day on an unnamed hill, the kind of day that seems a little too peaceful for its own good. Before you can take in and truly appreciate the silence, a giant cannon appears, its massive bulk looming ominously over the scene. However, this weapon of mass destruction isn't going to be used on some opposing force, nor is it there as some kind of relic from a past age. This cannon doesn't fire steel balls or photon torpedoes. No, this mechanical marvel is designed for one single purpose: to fire off a human body across the field, where the courageous stuntman will hopefully land in a giant water tower. If he happens to miss his mark and fly into the wild blue yonder, he'll die a grisly, bloody demise. It's your job to make sure that this mad stuntman makes it through his little performance unscathed, lest he ends up taking a high-speed faceplant on the unforgiving ground. This man's life is in your hands, so you'd better not screw up.

However, keeping the guy alive is no simple task. While pulling the trigger and letting him fly is an easy concept to grasp, you'll till have to deal with all the other variables that come with a stunt like this. You can change the angle of the cannon, thus influencing your friend's trajectory as he soars like a bird. You'll be able to tweak the speed as well, watching him zoom at mach speed or drift away at a comparative snail's pace. And once you think you've found the perfect balance between angle and speed, the game will also give you control of the water tower, letting you move it back and forth across the field to catch the stuntman as he falls back down to Earth. But despite having influence over all the surrounding aspects of this death-defying stunt, you'll still need a keen eye in predicting the man's flight plan. If you happen to set it at high speeds, you'll have to aim it further upwards, letting the height balance out the speed. Otherwise, your friend will blast out of the cannon, make a beeline for the water tower, and smash his face against it. And even if you achieve gaming Zen and find that perfect harmony between speed and angle, the water tower will still be waiting for you to move it. If you push it back to the outskirts of the field, chances are that the stuntman will fall short. If you sidle up right next to the cannon, he'll go flying right over you and die a brief, painful death. Considering that the game is unforgiving of any miscalculations, you'd better be sure you've planned everything correctly, lest the poor hero passes away and costs you another continue.

Thankfully, Human Cannonball was released in 1978, one of the few games representing Atari's infancy. Due to this early rendition of the game, you'll never get to watch the countless bloody and grisly demises of this young daredevil. You'll miss out as his body is crushed by the force of impact, or the way he crumples up into nothing more than a pile of pixels. Sadly, the rest of the presentation lacks the quality of its contemporaries, its dull portrayal of a deadly stunt making the game seem more like a chore than an edge-of-your-seat extravaganza. The hill and surround field are nothing more than a fat green swath of imaginary grass, complemented by an equally bland blue sky. At least the cannon and the water tower stand tall and proud, their primitive colors and details almost making up for the other shortcomings. What's worse is the pathetic effort put into the sound effects, their loud and annoying tones and pitches making the whole game an even worse experience.

If there's any comfort that can come from this game, it's that others have come along and used the same concepts, refined them, and made games far superior to this ancient relic of a game. While the idea of shooting a crazy stuntman out of a cannon may sound like loads of fun, it has nothing more to offer than a few gameplay choices that make up a mediocre difficulty. Instead of challenging yourself to keep the guy alive, you'll end up having more fun devising cruel and unusual death sentences as you shoot him off into the stratosphere. Also, the utterly bland presentation make this game turn stale with amazing speed, practically forcing you to go seek out another Atari title in hopes of finding something with a little more engaging gameplay and plenty more quality. Just like the actual stunt, the game of Human Cannonball will fade into historical obscurity, with little hope of ever making a triumphant comeback.

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 03/25/05