Laser Blast

"Lights in the sky..."

Aliens. They're a constant subject for debate, one of many mysteries that mankind has pondered for countless years. But despite the possibility that aliens could be beneficial for humankind, we as a society prefer the image of scary, technologically advanced beings held bent on world domination or destruction. How many movies have we seen, where some character utterly annihilates an extraterrestrial foe? How many of Hollywood's UFOs have we seen as the decades roll on? The idea of protecting the Earth against invader has also been a staple of the gaming industry, even in the early years of the Atari 2600. With games like Space Invaders and Yar's Revenge, we see the same pattern of threatening alien foes and heroic humans ready to save their home. For some reason, kicking alien ass seems so pleasurable and redeeming, letting us enjoy attaining high scores ranging into the millions. And all the while, your hapless extraterrestrial enemies will always be on the losing side…until now.

Welcome to Laser Blast, another in a long line of intergalactic shooting games. As usual for these types of games, you'll be in command of a fighter aircraft going up against an army of deadly foes. There's one minor difference, though: you're the evil alien that's trying to storm the planet and take over. With nothing more than a few ships, it's up to you to swoop down upon the grassy plains of Earth and wipe out anything that tries to stop you. You'll systematically take out every cannon, every line of defense, until nothing but a pile of rubble is left of humanity. If you have enough piloting skills and the ruthlessness, you'll be able to conquer everything. If not, your invasion will end in failure, your entire fleet shot down in a blaze of fiery glory and a sickening crash.

As you start your conquest of the world, you'll immediately come across a trio of reinforced ground attack troops standing their ground. Before they can even think about shooting you down, you'll be able to mash the firing button and send a laser beam careening toward the ground. Soon, all three of the once mighty defenders are obliterated, leaving nothing more than mere pixels in their place. When the skirmish is won, you'll move onto the next area, where yet another group of gunners are waiting to take a shot at you. For every thousand points you manage to score, you'll be awarded with another ship to continue your brutal assault. Once you've gotten the hang of wreaking utter havoc upon your hapless foes, you can crush the opposition with a merciless fist. Thus the world will collapse into anarchy as you seize the reins of power, and you will behold your high score in all its glory as it reaches beyond the limits of human comprehension.

Unfortunately, this ultimate quest for dominance falls flat right from the start. You may be in command of one of the mightiest intergalactic fleets the world will ever know, but your ships operate like duds. Though they may look sleek and powerful, they fly in slow motion, ambling around the sky at a snail's pace. Thankfully, their weapons are second to none, with enough power to take out anything that mankind can muster. However, your ships can only unleash their fury when they're standing still, forcing you to find a nice sniping position in the sky, slow to a stop, and lay the smack down on your foes. But while you're busy worrying about position and angle, the ground units are taking their time to aim skyward, ready to shoot you down with some lasers of their own. Since you don't have enough time to dodge the blast, you'll just have to pray that you can get your shot off before your adversaries. You may have attained the ideal range and angle to shoot your enemies, when one of the troops shoots you. After all that wasted effort, you're sent on a fast track to death. Luckily, you'll still be able to steer your craft as it makes a crash course for the ground, letting you exact some vengeance kamikaze style. Considering the limited controls and bland, repetitive gameplay, Laser Blast will go stale and moldy long before humanity falls to your mighty hand.

The horribly bland presentation doesn't help the process either. Your ships look like nothing more than big yellow blobs plastered against a black night sky. The enemy gunners are nothing more than big lumps of gray pixels, with absolutely no similarities to the deadly machines that they are supposed to portray. The bumpy hill design and the flashy laser beam lights add a little bit more flavor to the tasteless scenery, but they can't save the game from its doomed fate. Though we can't expect much from the Atari 2600, this lacking portrayal of the alien invasion will leave a bitter taste in your mouth. When the pathetic presentation is coupled with the even more pathetic gameplay, one has to wonder what Activision was thinking when they allowed Laser Blast to be released alongside far more superior games.

If there's anything good about Laser Blast, it's the fact that it had a decent alternative idea from what so many jaded space shooter fans were expecting. Instead of defending the planet, you get to take it over, one pocket of resistance after another. But while the concept was pretty novel for its time, the game lacks any other redeeming qualities. Its lacking controls condemn the prospective gamer to round after round of repetitive shootouts. Though you may have the godliest reflexes known to the gaming world, you'll still be bogged down by the limited movement of your spacecraft, forcing you to focus more on your position than taking out your foe. The fact that the game lacks a decent presentation just drives the failure even deeper. Laser Blast is the easily one of the worst games on the Atari 2600, the dark stain on Activision's otherwise impressive game list.

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 04/22/05