"ACHTUNG: this review contains large amounts of boredomite and blandatron - Read at your own risk"

Everything and its contrary have been said about this game. Indeed, Phantasy Star Online is a very peculiar game that marked the beginning of a new style of game on console: the online rpg. Although PSO doesn’t technically belong to the role-playing genre, it’s very hard to make it fit into another category. The Sonic Team developers decided to totally ignore the rich past of this mythical series and start on a new ground: if you’re looking for another PS4 here, you’re in for a huge disappointment. The motto of the game is simple:

YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY HERO

Such a pompous formula is actually only meant to describe what PC fans have had the pleasure of playing for a long time already… But Phantasy Star Online is clearly aimed at mainstream gamers: simplistic battle system and sumptuous graphics but little substance. But it’s a very interesting game in terms of communication. The social behaviors and micro-society created by the game are to be remembered. Being able to play with people from the other side of the earth without having to use a different language –thanks to the sometimes hilarious but generally efficient pre-set sentences- is a wonderful thing. Strangely enough, friendships resulting from PSO meetings seem very different from traditional online relationships: due to the credible character models and lifelike environments, chatting with people here feels like going out in real life. On PSO you often feel loved, appreciated for qualities that people from the real world don’t see. Do I speak from experience? Huh… Yeah.

As ridiculous as it may sound, PSO really is a refreshing game that constitutes an accurate reflection of modern society. The good AND the bad.

'See you on Sa&#@*day at 6, aight?'

A typical Phantasy Star Online game can be divided in three parts: searching comrades in lobbies, chatting and purchasing stuff in the town, and slaughtering monsters on Ragol. Astonishing the first few times, these three rigid phases then succeed to each other in what becomes a frustratingly tedious routine. Baka is the word of the day.

Meeting in lobbies is rendered much easier by the creation of 'Guild Cards'. Once you obtain anyone’s card, you can send him -let's face it, most PSO women are actually males who make fun of the poor losers who have nothing else to do that flirt with virtual girls: that's me- private messages and see when he’s connected. A brilliant idea that shows that the developers knew their baby was more about interaction than gameplay.

The rest of the game however, is far less innovative. Shopping becomes very fast an obsolete activity since trading is a much quicker way to obtain items. For the most part, the city serves as a chat room while some of the players are getting ready, or when you feel a need for privacy.

The battle part is the most exciting, but its interest fades away after some time. You’ll spend all your time killing monsters and activating switches. Can you say R-E-P-E-T-I-T-I-V-E? The different weapons don’t provide enough variety and basically fall into three categories: shooting, slashing, or casting spells. The bosses, really intimidating at first, end up offering little resistance are easily defeated by stupid patterns. All four of them.

After a while, you will surely log on to PSO in the sole purpose to meet your buddies without having to sit in front of your computer. Then, you will realize that the game is in reality nothing more than a giant chat room haunted by people who have no social life whatsoever.

'Mo’ playas, mo’ problems'

While it might at first seem exciting to finally open the doors of online play to console users, PSO created more problems than anyone could have imagined. Apart from giving a way of expression to many morons –what apparently is “the future of video games”-, the game’s biggest flaw is tied with Sega’s incapacity to stop hackers. Without a doubt, the worst of these pirates are the ones commonly referred to as dupers. Although you may think that the ones who abuse 'player kill' are the most annoying, dupers definitely have the biggest long-term impact on the game: by duplicating the most rare items, they totally kill the microscopic fun there is in searching and discovering new weapons. Simply put, they annihilate the replay value of this title.

The servers themselves are also a big issue: apart from the usual maintenance period every Wednesdays, it’s sometimes virtually impossible to log on and play. And if you have the chance to connect, you’ll have to pray for not getting disconnected, or worse, losing all your items because of a bug. These are reminders that PSO is just a game, and a pretty mediocre one at that.

Ingeniously mixing solemn tunes rich in classical notes for the battle/exploration scenes and elevator songs (that are technically as poor as George Foreman) in the lobbies, the music is interestingly varied. But sadly, chances are you’ll get bored of it very fast, since there is so little. The numerous sound effects, although uninspired, are realistic and greatly contribute to the immersion of the player.

The graphics are marvelous. Yes. The environments will surely amaze you the first time you see them –especially the last level-, and there’s no doubt that you’ll be impressed by some of the monsters. The problem is that fighting the same variety of monsters over and over isn’t exactly my idea of fun. PSO is like that pretty girl you took to the prom: perfect until it you discover how boring it really is (which can take more than 150 hours, mind you).

Oddly, PSO is as addictive as crack, alcohol or nicotine. Why? It’s inexplicably attractive. The quest for rares or the race to level 100 are enough to keep you playing even though the game isn’t interesting in itself. PSO truly is a reviewer’s nightmare.

'What about Phantasy Star Offline?'

As an online game, Phantasy Star Online is decent. As an offline game, Phantasy Star Online is terrible. Obviously, the offline mode is not even worth playing through. The laughable plot literally gives the player no incentive to play more, and the amount of experience points you earn by playing by yourself is ridiculous. As if that wasn’t enough, the three main races are very unbalanced, always giving you the desire to create a new character. Moreover, rare items are almost impossible to find offline, and the lack of any cooperation aspect highlights the shallowness of the battle system. If you were planning to purchase PSO and only play it offline, here’s a piece of advice: don’t.

Piece Of ****?

A nice attempt to introduce the joys of online gaming to console gamers, PSO falls very short in the end because it has no substance. One would be crazy to not recognize that PC online games are light years ahead, and that this game doesn’t nearly live up to the hype. During its first months of existence, playing PSO was an extraordinary experience, thanks to all the interesting people that populated the ships. But now, this game isn’t really worth buying anymore. Once the flashiness wears off, it’ll stay on your shelve forever.

Because PSO is a poor “game”.

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 10/24/01, Updated 02/02/03