Expendable

"Too Much Cotton Candy Is Bad For You...."

First of all, let's get the spurious Contra comparisons out of the way.

This is a 3D overhead-but-just-behind-main-protagonist-view shooter made in the often seen, but very pretty looking way that Apocalypse for the Sony Playstation was. If that looks (or plays) anything like the Contra series for you, go book an appointment at the optometrist boy because your eyes are apparently giving up on you very early in life. Its too easy to say 'Contra I, II or III' here for comparison and then expect the same fantastic innovative gameplay, when its quite obvious that innovation and gameplay are two things missing in enormous chunks from Expendable. In essence, this title is simply not those games, nor should it be confused as being half the enjoyable experience that they were.

So what is this game? Well, of course there is a story line of no worth (really: who cares about these?), but for completeness' sake, you are a soldier fighting Aliens (yawn) on some distant planet (surprise!). Look, anything more than those few details is superfluous and totally unimportant to the game itself, so lets not pretend this is rocket science eh? The idea is to walk around, blasting the living crap out of anything that moves. Simple.

Lets start with the good things about this title first. The game starts with you plopped down in a very pretty environment, not graphically dissimilar to Abe's Oddysee on the PS and perhaps borrowing more than a little from the afore-mentioned Apocalypse. As you walk around in your on-rails 3D environment (shades of that damn Apocalypse again) everything feels right and functions as you expect. Sound is prompt, clear and reasonable (nothing too grating, nor astounding).There's no popup, no hazing, no fog being used to hide large sprites and the thing fairly flies along, although what FPS its running at I have no idea. Suffice to say you know who you are at all times (although your character appears to have no details on him at all, he's so small), who the enemy is (now they do look good: large and fluid) and where to find what you need because the graphics are indeed very polished. Overall, its very nice to look at and everything pulses and sparkles with the graphical sheen you've come to expect from your dear Dreamcast's 128 bit power. However, as long suffering Sega console owners are more than familiar with by now, graphics alone do not a game make!

If we judged games on graphics and looks alone, as we might do catwalk super models, or the trailer-park trash masquerading as 'women' in the WWF, then what a hollow, vacuous existence we would all be doomed to follow. As any mature human being knows (don't you?), looks alone may get you the money, the fame and the adulation, but it won't win you any real friends and it sure as hell won't buy you a ticket to Happiness! You have to look deeper sometimes. So it is with Expendable's commendable dress sense. It sure looks the part. But the gameplay on offer here (shoot, walk, jump, shoot, move, find a key at your feet, shoot again) is unfortunately no more original than any dialogue uttered from those over-inflated lips that the WWF diva's pout through. Its just as short, just as sugar coated and just as Fairy Floss-headed, disingenuous & forgettable. In a word, it'll leave you feeling empty.

Its hard to outright dislike a game like Expendable though. So pretty to watch and so easy to play that minutes turn into hours, hours to days, days into .... well, probably one day is more than enough for anyone having a crack at this rather pedestrian title (unless it was the only Dreamcast game in your possession perhaps?). Though there is nothing totally wrong with it, in any department, the game simply doesn't do enough I feel that's new or exciting to warrant more than a stifled yawn from probably more than the most jaded gamer. When you have the game selection that we are currently blessed to be presented with for the DC, why waste time on the disappointing also-rans? Indeed, to return to the WWF one last time, given the choice of a Diva or a pretty Harvard under-Grad for a date, why waste money on the 'easy fluff', when taking on a real challenge could be so much more rewarding?

Kids: If you need candy, line-up here. Adults: If you want a cerebral cortex massage, immediately look elsewhere. This is a title covered in layers of mediocrity.

Reviewer's Score: 5/10, Originally Posted: 01/10/02, Updated 01/10/02