Death Crimson OX

"This game deserves to be "shot with Crimson.""

First off, let me start by saying that this is the Japanesest (yes, I know that's grammaticaly incorrect, so sue me) game I have ever played. Sega didn't even go to the trouble of translating the voice acting, and even the text is atrociously mistranslated. ''You be the leader of the resistance now?'' (All your base....^_^)

Story: 310

You have a gun named Crimson (which is capable of ''destroying the world''....WTF?) and you run around and shoot cyborgs, undead, humans, androids, and the occasional boss. That said, let me whine about the horrible plot. You chase Admiral Zaza (god, what a gay name) for the entire game, trying to get Lily back, only to find out he's already killed her when you get to the home base. Then you find out that the Admiral is actually Professor Greg Plewmel. WHAT?!? I would've understood if Prof. Greg was actually Admiral Zaza (that'd make sense, since then it would've been a logical trap), but that's just screwed up.

Sound: 610

Pretty impressive. The cyborgs sound properly ''cyborg-ish,'' and the gunshots are right on the mark. I am, however, incredibly annoyed by that underwater-sounding scream whenever you get hit by someone. Cool music, especially during that fight with the first boss.

Gameplay: 410

Well, those enemies provide a great challenge, since they're awfully resilient, and they come at you in full-on legions (a la Serious Sam). I understand the cyborg subliminers, but what's with the Taliban zombies who throw knives at you? And one of those skeletons made me scratch my head in puzzlement when he leaped to his feet and snapped a perfect, smooth side kick right to my jaw. It doesn't even give a weak point for Karin, the mad subliminer. You just shoot her a whole lot and hope she takes damage, which she usually doesn't.

Graphics: 810

Nary a pixel is to be seen, and I never detected a hint of slowdown. Probably my only complaint is that the blood is orange and the character's mouths don't move when they speak.

Practicality: 210

Instead of wasting my time rambling, I'll make a list.

1. The first boss's name: ''Sword the Stink.'' WTF?
2. ''Yuri, you be the leader of the resistance now.''
Snicker snicker.
3. Who's intimidated by the name ''Admiral Zaza?''
4. The computer has a fixation with talking about things being ''shot with Crimson.'' Examples:
''Subliminers, enemies who get in the way, shall all be shot with Crimson!!!''
''Lowest of the Subliminers, I'll shoot you all with Crimson!''
Et cetera, et cetera.
5. Mean macaroni and cheese. Need I say more?
6. You go all across the desert to find Kousuke Echizen, only to shoot him as soon as you see him.
7. That final boss fight was near impossible. Admiral Zaza very nearly killed me. I had to use five credits on that fight alone.
8. ''Hold your Crimson!!!''

In conclusion, I didn't hate Death Crimson OX, but I didn't like it either. Somehow, I can see why I found this game in the bargain bin.

Reviewer's Score: 5/10, Originally Posted: 02/01/02, Updated 02/01/02