Crazy Taxi 2

""You Get a Job. You Become the Job.""

''Loneliness has followed me my whole life, everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man.''

- Travis Bickle (Robert DeNiro), The Taxi Driver

While Travis Bickle may have found the cabbie's life lonesome and depressing, it's a thrill a minute in Crazy Taxi 2. It takes place in a world similar to ours, but delightfully twisted. In this world, pedestrians will take rides from people who nearly run them down, groups of clowns await transportation to City Hall, a 10-second trip is worth $300, and the Offspring still have a career. This is the world of Crazy Taxi 2.

HERE'S THE REAL STORY

If you are unfamiliar to the world of Crazy Taxi, you should know that the game doesn't go too far beyond what the title implies. It has the same mechanics as a racing game, but instead of racing, you must pick up a passenger and take him to wherever he wishes to go, and then pick up somebody else and repeat. You will get a certain amount of money and extra time after each successful trip, depending on how quickly you make it to the intended destination. The goal in this game is to make as much money as you can before time inevitably runs out. That's really all there is to it.

Except that this is Crazy Taxi 2. Following the Rules of the Road won't get you far. You'll be driving on the wrong side of the road, cutting through intersections, jumping off overpasses, and driving on sidewalks, and you'll have to if you want to get a good score. The fact that this game opts for realistic, as opposed to cartoon-style presentation, increases the humour. Given that this game allegedly takes place in New York City (!), suffice it to say that trying any of this in real life will likely get you shot, arrested, or killed in an accident. But in this game, a bicycle can tip over a garbage truck with no damage to itself, so you can let yourself go wild.

There are two maps to play on (one large and spacious, the other small and crowded), and the Crazy Pyramid, where a myriad of mini-games will test your driving skills to their limits.

I'VE CRANKED OUT SOME EXTRA MILEAGE

Where does this game differ from the original Crazy Taxi? While I haven't played the original in recent memory, the main differences are that you can make your vehicle hop (useful for avoiding dangerous situations), and collect up to four customers at a time (as a group, not individually). If you can get all of the group of customers to their separate destinations in time, you'll rake in thousands of dollars, but if you run out of time, you won't get a cent from any of them. The original cabbies from Crazy Taxi can be unlocked, but you'll learn the basics as the four new drivers (more on them in a minute).

SHE'S A REAL BEAUTY

The graphics in this game, while a generation old, still look fabulous. The sheer volume of buildings, traffic and pedestrians is impressive. There is no fog, and while pop-up does happen frequently, it's always a great distance away, so you'll have plenty of time to adjust. The cars, people and locales are rendered realistically, making the game simultaneously more ludicrous and more fun.

SHE HANDLES LIKE A DREAM

Steering, acceleration and braking are a little loose, but it makes the driving more realistic - these are cars, after all. Controls for the bicycle are spot-on. Controls for the baby carriage are laughably bad, but by design. An annoying feature is that the vehicles tend to skid if the wheel is turned too sharply during acceleration, but jumping solves this problem. There are a series of boosts, skids and hairpin turns that take precision with the gas, brakes and gear shift to pull off, but are rewarding with a little practice.

CRANK IT UP

The sound in this game is a mixed bag, but high-quality nonetheless. The music in this game is provided by the Offspring, the Angry White Boys of our generation. Four of their songs ('hits' seems too kind) play on loop throughout the game proper, so at the very least you'll learn them, whether you want to or not. Another band, the Methods of Madness, also had a hand in the soundtrack, but as far as I can tell it begins and ends with the menu screen and the end credits. Thanks, guys. I guess.

The sound effects are very well done. Trying sticking a sock in the Offspring every now and then and drink in the sounds of the engines and the traffic. Impressive.

The game is narrated my some CRAY-ZAY guy who has a CRAY-ZAY raspy voice, and CRAY-ZAY talks until you want to punch his CRAY-ZAY lights out.

Best of all are the voices of the drivers and passengers. Slash is a basically friendly guy who doesn't take things too seriously. Iceman is a big guy who grumbles and snaps at everybody. Cinnamon is a slightly frighteningly cheery girl who enjoys her job a little too much. Hot-D is an eccentric septuagenarian who has a quick wit.

Or at least that's how the manual describes them. The cabbies seem curiously silent most of the time, simply grunting in affirmation from time to time and generally letting their passengers say whatever they want. Also, Hot-D doesn't sound like a 78-year-old man so much as he sounds like Buckwheat from the Little Rascals.

The passengers are generally more entertaining, as they spout unconsciously hilarious lines. Driving well yields remarks like ''That's some serious speed!'' and ''You've got some skills!''. I recommend running down every passenger you see, if just to hear how the actors can say ''Watch it, fool!'' and ''You suck!'' with such lack of conviction. I think that they deliberately hired bad actors (particularly the guy with the nasal voice) to make the lines funnier. The pedestrians you can't pick up run like mad when they see you coming, emitting horrified shrieks, like extras in a Godzilla movie. Group fares are a lot of fun, as you can pick up Afro Dudes (no racism intended; that's the only way to describe these men) who call you a ''cool cat'', cheerleaders who talk exactly like any cheerleader from any movie you'd care to mention, and a bunch of clowns who, along with a group of terrifying men I refer to as the Flamboyant Teamsters, speak like Hans and Franz from that old Saturday Night Live sketch.

''DO YOU HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE?!''

Overall, this game is very repetitive and very, very addictive. There's a certain magic that keeps you coming back for more, and it seldom gets tiresome. Don't buy this game expecting depth and innovation. Buy it expecting fun.

Reviewer's Score: 8/10, Originally Posted: 02/10/03, Updated 02/10/03