Donald Duck: Goin' Quackers

"Spend a few hours staring at Donald Duck's sizeable arse"

Introduction

Yes, it's yet another Disney cash-in. Some Disney cash-ins are good (although I can't think of any examples right now), some are bad. But in the tradition of cash-in gaming, this is another example of a bad one. Oh joy.

You must control Donald through levels of platform gaming mayhem in order to save Daisy to complete this game. The game has been specifically designed with young children in mind - that much is clear. My brother was seven when he bought this with his Christmas money, and thus clearly within the target demographic. However, Donald Duck made him cry. I don't think he's ever recovered.

Story - 3/10

In the history of generic platform game stories, it's basic and uncompelling, but then that's what's expected of the genre. Donald Duck must rescue Daisy, who has been kidnapped or something - it's not really clear what exactly happened. The game opens with Donald watching Daisy (who is an intrepid reporter) on the television, then something happens and the screen turns to static. Donald decides that Daisy must clearly be in peril of some description and rushes out to save her.

Conveniently, there is a selection of warp platforms at your disposal, which you must use on your quest, since instead of just going straight to where Daisy disappeared you must instead complete a selection of levels and fight various bosses who have a mysterious lack of relevance to the story at hand.

It's a dull and unimaginative story, but it's generic. However, a studio such as Disney with the vast ocean of creative talent contained therein must surely be able to come up with better than this. Actually, it all feels rather rushed.

Game Play - 1/10

I'll start with the most positive aspect: the controls are very simple to use and this game is easy enough for children of all ages. There are no complex moves to master at all, and you can easily get away with not even glancing at the instruction manual and yet have no problems playing whatsoever.

Unfortunately, it's rather too easy. Levels are very linear and obvious in their construct and there is nothing more taxing to master than jumping. There are really no puzzles to solve here either - all the ''hidden'' items are very clearly visible from the main apparatus of the levels. This is the main problem - my theory is that the creators wanted to make a game that would be accessible to children, but in the process over-compensated by severely underestimating the capabilities of their target audience, to the extent whereby a not especially well-trained monkey would scoff at the ease of this game.

The game itself comprises different warp sections with a few levels which must be completed in order to unlock a boss level, which must be beaten in order to unlock the next section - and it's all very basic, very linear and very boring.

It is a shame really - Disney holds a certain fascination for so many people mainly due to their films and story-telling ability, but they have neglected to include any semblance of what they are best known for here, preferring instead to make a rushed and quick game. I finished this in less than eight hours, and I took my time over it. My aforementioned brother finished it in less (please don't laugh at me) and cried because he felt ripped off. Admittedly, the game was much more expensive at the time - it's very cheap now. Still though, you have to ask yourself whether a non-taxing maximum eight hours of game time is worth your cash.

Graphics and Sound - 3/10

The graphics look nice enough, but are let down by the altogether too linear levels. All levels are comprised of straight paths, moving either left to right or bottom to top, so that the game isn't truly 3D. The characters are well-rendered, but sadly due to the camera placement of the levels, you only ever see one side of the levels. Cameras are static and the view is always from the bottom of the screen whatever the movement of the level is. This can make it tricky in places to see lurking enemies ahead of you - my main dispute with the camera placing.

My other dispute with the camera is that in the levels where you move from the bottom to the top of the screen, the camera is placed directly behind Donald Duck's arse. The view is not pretty - especially when Donald has taken an injury from an enemy (he gets angry and walks in a sort of permanently stooped march). This really is unfortunate - the novelty value soon wears off from this and it becomes rather irritating.

Sound effects are fairly basic, and not too intrusive, although Donald's constant ''rararar''-ing becomes annoying quite quickly. The in-game music is aggressively cheerful.

Replay Value - 0/10

No replay value whatsoever. I'm sorry, but there really isn't. First time round it is so quick that you barely need to save, but second time round... well, I wouldn't know. I played it once and gave it back to my brother, who traded it in for an altogether better platform game, but that's for another review.

The point is, this game is NOT good value for money unless you buy it absurdly cheaply. I certainly can't think of any reason why you'd want to play it again at all.

The Bottom Line

There's not much else to say - I think I've made my views on this perfectly clear. I don't like writing negative reviews, but games can cost a lot of money, and the younger the buyer the more the money is worth to them. Disney aimed this at young children who rely on pocket money and gifts to buy games, and spending their money on this could well leave them heart-broken.

The children who this is aimed at would do better to spend their money on other platform games which are longer and better value, but I fear that a serious case of branding will prevent this from happening. Let the kids keep their notion of magic in the world - please don't expose them to this unforgivable poor cash-in from an otherwise well-respected giant of a company.

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 04/06/03, Updated 04/06/03