PAPER MARIO: THE THOUSAND-YEAR DOOR TATTLE GUIDE v.1.5 Written by John Lange <falconpain@yahoo.com> The goal of this guide is to transcribe everything Goombella has to say about people, places, and enemies in this game. Using the Tattle command while walking or in battle, Goombella can make comments about each person, each place, and each enemy. Also, she has a few things to say about items such as blocks and switches, but these aren't as common. In addition, Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door includes a "Tattle Log" that fills up as you tattle each enemy. While earlier versions of this guide did not contain this log, enough people asked about it on the forums that I decided to add it. (Supposedly, this log is the book Goombella consults during her tattle animation, and she quotes from it several times.) Note: This guide will not include any of Goombella's conversations. I do not yet believe that I have obtained every tattle in this game. If you have information on a tattle I have missed, send me an email at falconpain@yahoo.com and I will see if I can reproduce your results. If this results in my finding a tattle I missed, I will add it to a later version and credit you in this guide. The same thing goes if you find a typo or error in any Tattle in this guide. It occurs to me, however, that there are many similar Tattles that are slightly different from each other. For example, check out the fifteen security guards in Glitzville. Make absolutely sure what you're submitting is an error before submitting it. WARNING: Goombella's main role in this game (other than being a fine Headbonker, and I guess that Rally Wink is a big help when fighting later bosses) is to provide hints and background info about various situations. As a result, many of the comments in this guide will spoil plotlines and puzzles for someone who reads this ahead of time. Please read this guide at your discretion. This guide will be divided into the following sections: Opening Samples Areas People Enemies Area Items Tattle Log Contributors Revision History --------------OPENING SAMPLES------------ When Goombella first joins your party (a whole two screens into the game), the game goes through a sequence where you learn how to use the Tattle command. She will Tattle the area and a passing character. Oddly enough, she uses slightly different wording from when you tattle the same things later. So, for posterity's sake: * This is Rogueport Plaza. It's the center of town, and the main business district. It's a crossroads where many people meet, including more than a few shady characters. * That's Goomther the Goomba. He's always complaining about being swindled or mugged... ------------------AREAS------------------ ROGUEPORT: * This is Rogueport Harbor. Ships come here from all over the world! Everybody's always working their tails off down here. No wonder it's totally sweaty. Sometimes this area's all stacked high with cargo from all the ships. The water smells pretty rank, but that's like, the magic of a port town, y'know? * This is Rogueport's main square. It's sorta the central shopping area, I guess. There are lots of regular working folks here, but there are also ne'er-do-wells... If you venture into the back alleys, be ready to deal with some nasty sorts... * This is Rogueport's east side. It's considered dangerous here, even for Rogueport! This is Ishnail's turf. He's the leader of a band of thieves called the Robbos. Then again, you can also find Merlon here. He can help your partners level up. Still, it's definitely too rough a place for a girl like me to walk alone... [heart] * This is Rogueport's west side. This is totally the friendlier face of Rogueport. Not that it's, y'know, a great place to raise a family, but it's good for Rogueport. The corner with the fountain is definitely the most restful spot in Rogueport. This area is controlled by Don Pianta, head of the Pianta syndicate... Yeah. The shop and parlor here are totally fronts for his "business." * This is Rogueport Station. You can board intercity trains or blimps here. The Excess Express bound for Poshley Heights is nice and shiny, isn't it? Wow! I bet all the town kids are just DYING to ride it at least once, y'know? That blimp way over at the airfield looks super-cool, too. Blimps are awesome! ROGUEPORT SEWERS: * We're down below Rogueport. The current town was built on top of this ancient one. Pretty surprising to find all this down here, right? It kinda blows my mind... The ruins here are all crumbly and gnarly now, but it was once a great town, really. * We're down below Rogueport. Folks say these are the ruins of a 1,000-year-old town. Even though these buildings are crumbling, some seem safer than those above us. The people living here mostly can't show their faces above for one reason or another. Some have actually started successful businesses here, though! What a hardy bunch! * We're down below Rogueport. I think this is just your basic, garden-variety corridor. This must've been a nice walk when the whole town was aboveground... * We're down below Rogueport. Y'know, this seems to be more than just a corridor... Nothing's ever what it seems down here, huh? * Who knew the area under Rogueport extended so far? This place is a total maze! You really feel the grandness of that ancient civilization when you're down here... * There's a black box in the middle of the room. Y'know, in case you missed it. And, um... Yeah, there's just not much else, really. * This is the site of the famed Thousand-Year Door. The air ripples with power... Behind that door sleeps the treasure that every rogue in Rogueport whispers about... I also read this was where the palace at the center of the ancient town was. Just a little fun fact, there... * Looks like some seawater's found its way in here, huh? Yeah, that's a health hazard. I bet some weird sea things live in there, too... so try not to fall in the water, OK? Oh! There's a pipe here that connects to Petal Meadows. * This is Merlee the charmer's house. With her charms, you get random bonuses in battle. It costs a few coins, but I hear it's totally worth it. * These spikes seem to rise and drop according to a set pattern... They must be here to keep out thieves, huh? Now THAT'S a security system! With good timing, if you ran while the spikes were down... you'd still be a shish kebab. * That's the entrance to the Pit of 100 Trials. No one knows how far down that pipe goes, but... it keeps me awake at night. * We're down below Rogueport. You could spend a lifetime studying secrets down here. * We're down below Rogueport. This corridor connects to the area above. Nice, huh? By the way, you know you can pass through iron bars in Paper Mode, right? * This is just another part of the underground corridor. I bet tons of people passed through here a thousand years ago. Coooooooool. * We're down below Rogueport. I never knew this room was connected like this... If you see a similar entrance in another area, you should totally check it out. * We're down below Rogueport. There's a pipe here that connects to Twilight Town! * This is the Pit of 100 Trials. That pipe just seems to lead down forever... Still, the air seems kinda fresh here. I guess it's flowing down from above, huh? * This is the Pit of 100 Trials, but I don't see any enemies in this room. At least there's a pipe to take us back to the entrance if you wanna bail. Then again, we'd have to fight our way back down to this level again... Better think it through before we do anything hasty, know what I mean? * This is an intermediate floor in the Pit of 100 Trials. These appear every 10 floors. At least there's a pipe to take us back to the entrance if you wanna bail. Then again, we'd have to fight our way back down to this level again... Better think it through before we do anything hasty, know what I mean? * This is the Pit of 100 Trials. We just gotta keep on fighting and descending... But this endless repetition of rooms is starting to totally wear me out, y'know? I guess we gotta soldier on, though... * This is the Pit of 100 Trials. We've come pretty far, looks like. The air's getting super-dank... Who knows how deep it goes, but let's keep going as long as we can... * This is the lowest floor in the Pit of 100 Trials. A zombified dragon named Bonetail used to protect this room. Yuuuuuck. Mario, I bet you're the first person to make it this far! I totally knew you'd do it! Now let's get out of this creepy place and back to the world above, OK? * This is the house of the level adjuster, Chet Rippo. Whenever you want to adjust your levels or your partners' ranks, just come here, OK? Seriously, though, how many customers do you think he gets, living down here? * Another room in here, huh? Wow. But what's the significance of it? An undiscovered chamber of purpose unknown... THIS is why I love archaeology! [heart] * We're down below Rogueport. There's nobody here. Huh! I wonder where they went? PETAL MEADOWS: * Ah, the Petal Meadows. A plateau surrounded by hills far to the east of Rogueport. It's mild and pleasant here all year round. I love it! Doesn't it feel nice? ...Oh, hey, and Mario? If you hit a tree, sometimes something good falls out. I know that came out of left field, but I mean it! If you see a tree, smack it! * Ah, the Petal Meadows. The scenery's super-nice, but careful of all the Goombas. Make sure you've always got enough HP and FP to fight, will ya? Oh, and you can press Z to check your stats, too. * The river running through here totally makes the air crisp and refreshing. Hey, and by the way, Mario, have you tried checking the grass around here? Sometimes those clumps of grass hide good stuff, so always check them with A! * This path leads to Shhwonk Fortress. ...Is it just me, or is this area darker? There are enemies around, so if you feel weak, remember to take it easy, OK? * This is part of Shhwonk Fortress. We got a couple pedestals here. That's it. It looks pretty decent, but this place is actually insanely old, did you know that? I'd say it was built about... a thousand years ago. Yup. What vibrant ruins! * This is the path to Shhwonk Fortress. The air here's a bit stale, don'tcha think? Oh, yeah, and listen, Mario... Remember, you don't have to attack every enemy you see. If you have low HP, you might just wanna avoid them. That's Exploring 101, y'know? * This is part of Shhwonk Fortress. We got a couple pedestals here. That's it. Still, to archaeologists, this place is a gold mine. I gotta come back sometime... * This is the path to Shhwonk Fortress. The main entrance is just over there. There's a recovery block there, too. If your HP and FP are low, hit it, OK? * This is Shhwonk Fortress. Suspicious statue... I'm pretty sure it's a Thwomp bust. Hey, I just remembered something I read about this place in a book! Whenever the villagers were confronted with a monster, they'd hide in this fortress... I guess there's a little bit of history everywhere you look, huh, Mario? * We're in Shhwonk Fortress. My shoes are totally soaked through now... Just great. Plus, it's dark, and cramped, and it smells totally bad... This place is not cool, Mario. * There sure are a lot of Fuzzies living here in Shhwonk Fortress... I saw one a minute ago, and I thought it was a ghost! I totally hate dark places... * We're in Shhwonk Fortress. All this water has made the place a little cold... I wouldn't mind getting out of here for some fresh air soon, you know what I mean? * All this moisture makes this place really moldy-smelling. And what's that other stink? Is that what wet Fuzzy smells like? I think I'm gonna totally barf. * We're in Shhwonk Fortress. This room is damp and moldy, too. Like every other one. Jeepers creepers... I just wanna see the sun again. Is that so wrong? PETALBURG: * This is Petalburg. It's nice and warm here, and the air is sooo clean... Such a peaceful hamlet... There's a shop and an inn, so you buy stuff and rest. Oh, and one more thing... The river's pretty, but fall in and Nibbles will getcha! * This is Petalburg. The warm weather makes the locals laid-back and happy. Wow, and talk about unique personalities... Very... individualistic, to put it nicely. Or, not so nicely... Downright kooky... HOOKTAIL CASTLE: * This is the entrance to Hooktail Castle. Not bad... There's a garden up ahead. There's a Save Block here, too, so we'd probably better use it, don'tcha think? * This is the Hooktail Castle garden. Looks like the bridge has been out for a while. Even so, this castle just seems so... majestic, y'know? It's so big, and... strange. * This is a corridor in Hooktail Castle. Can't say I'm a fan of the bone-pile decor. I don't really wanna have my bones end up here, Mario. How about we move on? * I guess that's a dungeon beyond us... Ick... There are bones scattered everywhere. Mmm... Mold and dust... Great. You could totally choke on the stench in this place. HAAAAAACK! * This must be the great hall of Hooktail Castle. I'd say it's the center of the castle. This place is so full of traps and dangers... It's kind of hard to get around, huh? If we could just walk to a window and look at the sky, that might clear our heads... * This is Hooktail Castle. You feel that upward-moving draft in here? Wow, sure is a big castle. Who do you think built it? So many questions! * These are the dungeons of Hooktail Castle. I don't think they're in use, but... yuck. Hey, y'know, I was meaning to ask... Have you mastered Koops's "Hold" move yet? When Koops is with you, just press and hold X to make his shell stop ahead of you. You can even move around while it stays there! Try it out in different areas! * What a totally weird room. There's just gotta be something hidden here. Then again, EVERY room in this castle is totally weird. * This is Hooktail Castle. There's an upward-moving draft in this room, too. Of course, tons of bones lying around, too. This place needs a decorator, STAT! You never know which bones are gonna attack, so careful where you walk, OK? Oh, and if you want to ride that green block, remember, Koops is the MAN! * This is Hooktail's treasure room. Ms. Mowz was looking for something here, but I don't think there's anything left. * This is Hooktail Castle. The door up on that platform to the right is hard to reach. I wonder if the switch on the right might control the block that could get us up there... Looks like a job for Koops... * Mario, take a look at this! It's like you could reach out and touch the sky, huh? Looking out from the heights makes my head go goomby... I mean... I mean goony! * This is Hooktail's lair. Yup, the highest chamber in the castle! Now, where's Hooktail, huh? Hmmm... Y'know, maybe we should be glad it's not around at the moment... * This is a hidden room in Hooktail Castle. Who knew there was a room in here? Well... I guess secret rooms are supposed to be secret... BOGGLY WOODS: * These are the Boggly Woods. Pretty surreal, huh? Looks like it's out of a picture book. It's pretty... but in an eerie sort of way, y'know? * These are the Boggly Woods. Kind of a dreamily pretty place, isn't it? It'd be nicer if it weren't crawling with enemies... But, whatcha gonna do? * You see that big tree over there? It's REALLY big... It's kind of otherworldly, actually. Wild... * If we wanna get over to that ledge on the right, I think we gotta fly in Plane Mode. Oh, hey, and Mario... Can you see that tunnel-like opening in the ledge wall? * This is the outer part of the Boggly Woods. The flowers are almost like a carpet! Hey, and isn't it totally rare to find a white-leaved tree? What kind of tree is that? FLURRIE'S HOUSE * What a totally nice house! Super coordination between the red walls and furniture. I'm so jealous it's not even funny. I have like, NO sense of interior decoration. * Ooh, AND a canopy bed! I'm sooo jealous! Argh! I'd DIE to have one! And all the furniture here is so stylish! It's like, TEARING ME APART! Interior decoration is all about balance, and this... place... has... got it! THE GREAT TREE: * The base of the Great Tree! It sure is big up close... I mean... Wowser. Seriously. It must have watched over the Boggly Woods for over 1,000 years. That's insane... * It's like another world inside this tree, huh? And check out these statues! They must've been left by the ancestors of the Punies. I wonder how many years the Punies have lived in this place, anyway... These are the kinds of questions archaeologists have to ask, y'know. * This is an interesting pedestal, Mario. When the Punies stand on the panel, the machine counts them and responds! The ancient Punies must've been really sophisticated... This is totally fascinating! * We're inside the Great Tree. Looks like lots of tufts of vegetation around here. Stuff could be hidden in those things, so let's make sure to check each one, OK? * There's a red cell and a blue cell here. Crump must've made 'em to hold the Punies. With gaps like those between the bars, I think we could get through, though... * Looks like Crump left behind lots of the equipment he used to search this tree. Ms. Mowz was here before, but I think she took the next train to Floozyville. * We can jump this gap easily, but I think the Punies will totally plummet down there. If you gather them into a group and blow on them, they should all fall over the edge... But then they'll come back up in bubbles! And then you can blow them across! As for the door on the left, if you use that panel, it'll unlock it, I'm pretty sure. * The Punies are totally afraid of these Piders. When a Pider drops, the Punies completely lose it and bolt in every direction. You're gonna have to defeat any Piders near the path you wanna lead the Punies along. * We're inside the Great Tree. This area has a totally wacked-out topography. Y'know, I think Punio said something about a hidden shop somewhere in this area... If you need any items, we should try to find it, huh? * This is a shop run by a Puni named Pungent. I wonder if there are any rare items... * Hey, there's water running through the inside of the Great Tree! You don't think... Could this be how the tree carries nutrients from root to limb? Y'know, nature is just about the coolest thing ever. * This area seems to have been laid our for a special reason, don't you think? There must be something super-important hidden here. * This must be the most wide-open space inside the Great Tree, huh? The tree looks big from out there, but I lose all sense of dimension in here... I could totally get lost in here for like, days... * I wonder if the inside of the tree was always like this... I mean, do you think it was, or do you think someone MADE it this way? Hmmm... It's a mystery... * The structure of this tree is pretty complicated... Looks like we're only gonna move on with the help of the Punies, huh? We're gonna seriously need to use our thinking caps as we go forward... * That's a big treasure chest... The Punies must've left it... What could it be, you think? Well... Only one way to find out, am I right? * We're inside the Great Tree. Grasses and other plants grow in here. Isn't that cool? You think the Great Tree is like a... host organism? Biology is just SO cool... * This area makes me feel like I'm exploring a watery swamp even though we're in a tree... Water! I bet we need Koops! ...Um... Or maybe that doesn't make any sense at all... * We've come down pretty far. The air is a bit colder here, don'tcha think? The technology used here is pretty insane, too. I wish I had more time to inspect it. * This must be the lowest chamber. Saying it's solemn here is an understatement. Under these statues' glares, I feel like the Punies' ancestors are watching us. * This door was made by Crump and his cronies. It doesn't match the decor at all. As for the door, if you use the panel there, it should unlock the whole thing. GLITZVILLE: * Yup, this is Glitzville. It's so exotic; it feels like we're in another country! This is like an entertainment hub that attracts visitors from all over the world. The Glitz Pit is, obviously, the main attraction. That's where fighters duke it out. To the right: the Fresh Juice Shop. The Hot Dog Stand to the left. Where to first? * This is the Glitz Pit lobby. It's pretty nice, actually! Sturdily built, nice decor. And what can you say about that luxurious chandelier except... FABULOUS!!! * This is the Glitz Pit itself! That's the ring in the middle. That's where all the magic happens. And by "magic," I mean brutal beatdowns. * This is a backstage corridor. Compared to the Glitz Pit, this is so... businesslike. There's security all OVER, so you can't just wander around wherever you want... * This is a minor-league locker room. It's kind of, uh... Well, it's pretty disgusting. It's totally different from the first room they showed. The old bait-and-switch... You think they make it totally gross so fighters will try harder to advance? * This is a major-league locker room. Everybody here dreams of reaching the top... You can almost feel the intensity of their ambition in the air... It's weird... Speaking of weirdness, there's ALWAYS someone in the bathroom. Creepy! Y'know, it's kinda necessary to have access to a bathroom now and then... * This is the Glitz Pit storeroom. They must keep props or something in here. There's a second floor, too. If you see anything odd, don't forget your partners... * This is the promoter's room. It's fitting... It has sort of a relaxed authority, y'know? This is where the pairings for each match get decided. Neat! * This is the storeroom. There are lots of wooden crates here, that's for sure. But it doesn't seem to be in use now, does it? I mean, it's COVERED in dust! * This is a minor-league locker room. It's just as gnarly as the one we were in. If you check the lockers or behind the posters, I bet there are stains and graffiti. * This is another locker room for major-league competitors. It's opposite the other one. Why was there a hidden room behind the lockers, anyway? What would it be used for? Mysteries are totally everywhere in the Glitz Pit! * This is the champ's room. Yeah... This has to be like, the WORST decorating ever! Like that tiger-print bed... I mean, COME ON! Think Rawk Hawk designed it? Or maybe Grubba? It couldn't be... Jolene? * This is the air duct, right? Where does it lead to? TWILIGHT TOWN: * This is Twilight Town. It's twilight here, which I guess makes sense, huh? That big moon gives me the heebie-jeebies. I guess the sky here is always the same... No morning, noon, or night... Wouldn't perpetual dusk get a little like, boring? * This is Twilight Town. The people here are just as shadowy as the sky... I wonder if I'd get that way if I lived here long enough? ...Gross. Still, I guess being all gothed-out is better than being a pig... TWILIGHT TRAIL: * This is Twilight Trail. Kind of a depressing little road, don'tcha think? I feel like something bad's GOTTA be at the end of it. ...Maybe I'm just superstitious. * This is more of Twilight Trail. A lot of enemies around here, seems like. Hey, by the way, Mario... Is it me, or has the moon been getting bigger? Not... Not that I'm scared or anything! Re...Really! * This is Twilight Trail. Looks like some seriously spooky woods over there. I hear some of the villagers go there to collect herbs. That's totally insane... I'd NEVER go someplace like that on my own, not for a million coins! * We're in the woods now. It's really dark here, so watch where you step... * I feel like something's just gonna pop out of that thicket and attack us! Like what? Well, it could be... Stop it! I don't wanna think about what it might be! Suh-Suh-Scary... * Yup, still in the woods... It's getting awfully dark around here... If there were like, a big hole in the ground, you'd probably fall in without seeing it. Flurrie would float right over it, so I'm sure SHE'S not worried... CREEPY STEEPLE: * This is Creepy Steeple. Seeing it in the moonlight gives me the willies... It looks like a ghost could just pop out at any minute. No way I'm going in there. Uh... Although, I guess since YOU'RE with me, Mario... I'll give it my best... * We're inside Creepy Steeple. At least the moon provides a LITTLE light, y'know? This place seems super-old, huh? I'd like to research it... as soon as it's not haunted. * This appears to be the Creepy Steeple storeroom. Sheesh, have a few cobwebs! I'm not so good with ghosts OR spiders, to be honest... And ghost spiders... horrible. * Who knew we could get down here from up there? Wow! This room's well hidden. Talk about minimal decor: one jump pad and one door. Think there's anything else? * This is an underground corridor in Creepy Steeple. The flames are kinda freaky. The fact that they're burning means someone must've been here recently, though. * This is a courtyard of Creepy Steeple. Boy, that garden could use some love. Aside from the switch, there isn't much here. * This is a courtyard of Creepy Steeple. Pretty decent breeze out here, huh? Aside from the switch, there isn't much here. * Wow, interesting staircase... Hmmm... Just one staircase, but three doors... What's the story with THAT, you think? Lazy architects? * This winding stair leads up to the belfry. Talk about a doozy of a climb! I mean, it's almost like the staircase is saying... "Go away. I totally hate you." * This is the well's bottom... but it seems to have dried up. Which is good for us. There's a corridor leading out of here... Smells like a puzzle to me, Mario! * I gotta say, I'm outta ideas. I mean, you can't pull it out, push it away, hammer it... What should we do, Mario? Hmm... I got nothing. I'm thinking we probably oughta just leave it for now. * Who knew the bottom of the well connected to this place? This place is totally crazy. I wonder if Doopliss knew about this passage? * This is an underground room in Creepy Steeple. There's a parrot here, but no people. That parrot must get pretty bored with no one around. Think he talks to himself? KEELHAUL KEY: * This is Keelhaul Key. The sun's brutal, as you'd expect on a southern isle. Blue skies... White clouds... I've always wanted to take an island vacation. Don't you just wanna yell, "Hey, stupid ocean! Look at me! I'm on vacation!" * This is a shantytown built by Pa-Patch and some of the sailors who came with us. Blue ocean, sandy beaches... A shop, an inn... You could live pretty comfily here. You'd always have to worry about harmful UV rays, though, y'know? * This is a totally thick jungle. The flora in this area is unique to tropical regions. * We're in the jungle on Keelhaul Key. It's complex... Switchback paths and stuff... I think there's an invisible block here somewhere, so why don't you look for it? * Wow, nice rope bridge, huh? I don't think I'll be looking down while we cross, though. Being able to see the water through the slats makes my belly go bleeeeeeeeah! Whoa. Hang on. I'm a little woozy. I might faint... * Here are the red 'stache and blue 'stache statues. Hey, kinda like you and Luigi! The smaller one's like you, and the taller one's like Luigi. Are they... looking at us? PIRATE'S GROTTO: * This is the entrance to Pirate's Grotto. There's gotta be something good in there. Considering how hard it is to get in, there sure as heck BETTER be! * We're inside Pirate's Grotto. Looks like we can go down from here... Aside from jump pads, there's not much else here. * Yikes! Talk about unsteady footing! You could totally wipe out easily here. Oh, and watch out for those spikes that pop out, OK? They... would probably hurt. At least they pop out with predictable timing. We can figure out a way across. * There's a Bill Blaster at the end of this corridor. Someone really wants to keep us out! You know what? Who cares! CAN'T STOP US, SUCKERS! Let's get going, Mario. * We're inside Pirate's Grotto. Pirates must have built the bridges and sluice gate here. There's also a waterfall flowing from above. Careful not to lose your footing. * It's totally weird to walk around down here... I mean, PIRATES lived here... The scourge of the seas... I wonder where their souls are wandering now... * This is a storage area... Looks like the pirates left tons of stuff here. The switch in front there lifts and lowers cargo. Maybe Bobbery could alter the timing of when the switch gets activated. * We're inside Pirate's Grotto. Uh... You can probably tell, but this room looks empty. * Watch out for those spikes! Yeah, the thing about spikes is... they really hurt. Forget using an ally's power here... Trust yourself and let's roll! You know what I mean! * Jumping around on barrels and sinking ship fragments... This is pretty gnarly. So, let's take it easy and not get too careless, OK? * We're inside Pirate's Grotto. This is a looooong corridor. There's a Bill Blaster at the end of this corridor, too. They don't want us here! * We're inside Pirate's Grotto. There's a sunken ship here. Something good inside? 'Cause that's how it always is in video games... right? [heart] * We're inside one of the abandoned ships. There's a black chest here. Now that I mention it... Why do we keep running into these black chests? Weird. * We're inside Pirate's Grotto. Lots of sunken ships floating around here, huh? Hey, by the way, Mario... You can cancel Boat Mode or Plane Mode by pressing B. I'm like, the tip MASTER! That's a super-convenient one, too, so don't forget! * This is the deepest part of Pirate's Grotto. One part of this area's covered in fog. Seems that maybe all of the ships that capsized near here ended up in this cavern. I wonder if Cortez's ship was the first to end up down in these caverns... * This is the inside of Cortez's ship. Cortez must be inside that next room, huh? * This is Cortez's room, all right. I guess you'd call this the captain's cabin. Sure is a lot of treasure in here... You could live many lives of luxury with this... And I'll tell you, lots of this stuff has archaeological value, as well... You think maybe we could pocket a little bit without Cortez noticing? EXCESS EXPRESS: * This is a passenger car. Orange and brown decor... That actually looks good! The passenger cabins here are numbered 3, 4, and 5, in case you forgot your numbers. * This is a passenger car. The green and brown colors actually work here. Wow. There are two passenger cabins here, numbers 1 and 2. * This is the engineer's car of the Excess Express. Any kid would LOVE to see this! Look at me, Mario! I'm an engineer! WOOP WOOOOOP! Hey, but driving a train is really nothing to joke about. I totally respect engineers! * This is the dining car. There also seems to be a cute little shop here. Dining and shopping while watching scenery go by... Talk about heavenly... * This is a passenger car. The blue and brown interior here is totally chic. The passenger cabins here are numbered 6, 7, and 8. ...But you knew that. * This is the freight car. Usually, passengers aren't allowed back here. Looks like there are lots of bags here, ready to be unloaded at the next stop. * This is the train's roof. Look at that scenery go whipping by! Wowser! ...Look, this is no time for me to be describing stuff! These guys are so ANNOYING! They're flippy and floppy and gross and I HATE them! Let's get rid of them! RIVERSIDE STATION: * This is Riverside Station. It's one of the places where the Excess Express stops. This place is famous for its scenic beauty... It's the sunsets, you know. Just one more of the many pleasures Excess Express passengers get to enjoy. * We're inside Riverside Station. It's an old brick building with natural warmth. Its antique elevator is totally charming, too. I am in LOVE with that thing! You think it works, though? I'm not that fond of getting trapped in elevators... * We're inside Riverside Station. This place has been out of use for a while, I think. I love those solitary lightbulbs hanging from the ceiling. It's so shabby chic. * This is the other side of the big clock. Lots of endlessly moving gears... A lonely clock, counting out the endless progression of hours, heard by no one... * We're on the outer stairs. A door at the bottom leads to an underground office. But listen, Mario... Don't spend time worrying about posters that blow away in the wind... Let's just take in this killer sunset for a while before our next bad-guy appointment! * This is the Riverside Station garbage dump. Talk about an annoying place to navigate! And it smells like rotting Goomnuts... It's amazing how much people throw away. There should be a door to the underground office somewhere down here. * This is the Riverside Station office... but there doesn't seem to be anyone here. Hey, and now that I think of it, why would they put an office down here anyway? ...Or was I not supposed to bring that up? * This is the Riverside Station records room. They file all station business here. ...Or at least I think they do. Yup, these are probably files. Not to change the subject... But did you know you have to hit some switches a certain number of times? Yeah, that kind of came out of left field, but I was just wondering if you knew that... POSHLEY HEIGHTS: * This is the Poshley Heights Station. The Excess Express to Rogueport is here. This place is sooooo upscale. It's like, the polar opposite of Rogueport. You can tell that movie stars and millionaires live here. It just REEKS of cash. * This is Poshley Heights. It's a relaxed town that positively reeks of money. There's a very nice hotel here, too. Wouldn't it be nice to stay there sometime? * That's Poshley Sanctum. I guess the sanctum grounds are used as a public square. That fountain out front is unique, huh? Yeah, but that water... I bet Nibbles would still chomp your tush if you fell in... POSHLEY SANCTUM: * This is Poshley Sanctum. It sure is spacious inside! ECHO! ...Echo... Echo... Does Pennington really live here alone? I bet it's hard to clean this place... Hey, and those [star] marks on the floor must mean something, right? * Is this part of Poshley Sanctum, too? Exactly how does all of this work? Well, whatever... This must be the secret resting place of the Crystal Star. Based on his reactions, I'd say that Pennington didn't even know about this... FAHR OUTPOST: * This slowly falling snow is totally beautiful, but it's super-SUPER-cold out here! If I lived here long enough, I'd probably turn into an abominable Goomba... * Say, Mario, did you know... Walking in the snow leaves really cool footprints! Thing is, the snow's falling so hard, they totally disappear quickly. * Hey, Mario, check it out! I can totally see my breath! Must be really cold, huh? That is just SO awesome! I grew up in a warm place, so this is totally new to me! * This is part of Fahr Outpost. It's a village full of Bob-ombs. How do they survive out in this cold anyway? Don't their fuses freeze off? You'd think these people would be bitter, living here... But they all look just fine! * This is part of Fahr Outpost. There's a shop and an inn here, so that's something... They have a huge, cannonlike monument over there, too. Very Bob-ombish! THE MOON: * We're on the moon! Awesome! The moon I always look up at, can you believe it? I mean, I heard they'd put a Goomba on the moon in '69, but who knew WE'D get here? Boy, nothing's impossible on your adventures, Mario! You are the COOLEST! * Boy, I guess there are pretty much just rocks on the moon. I guess I knew that, but it's still kind of disappointing. Bummer... * The stars sure are pretty here. I wonder if I can find my favorite constellation... I'm such a totally shameless romantic, it's not even funny. * There's a weird-looking building off in the distance. Why would THAT be here? Looks like we'll need to find a pipe to get there, though. So... let's look for a pipe. * You see the Moon Clefts that live up here? You think they live on green cheese, Mario? ...You know I'm kidding, right? I'm not that much of a cheeseball... get it? I'm still bummed there are only rocks here. * Hey, Mario! Did you see that? I saw a comet or something! It was all, like, "PSHOOWEE!" Should I try and make three wishes, do you think? I wish for... Hee hee hee! That's TOP SECRET! X-NAUT FORTRESS: * Who knew there'd be such a weird building on the moon... It's kind of crazy, actually. I mean, it's got a big glass dome to keep all of the air from leaking out... ...What's that? Yeah, now that you mention it, I guess we were OK out there with no air to breathe. .................................. Yeah, I'd rather not think about that too much, I guess. Let's change the subject. * This is the X-Naut Fortress. This seems to be the only way in or out. The stars look really nice through these windows, but I guess now's not the time... * This is a fortress corridor. An elevator connects it to the lower floors. I guess this fortress extends pretty far beneath the surface of the moon, huh? I mean, I hate Grodus, but I gotta give him some props for a pretty cool evil hideout. * This room looks like it was meant to store something... It's booby-trapped, I think. Not to totally change the subject or anything, but how's your memory, Mario? If you have trouble recalling the full path, you oughta maybe leave and reenter. * This looks like a storage room for valuables. The crane can grab stuff up there. It should work if you set a gear in place and press those switches in order... I'm sure you can handle it. It's not exactly moon-rocket science, here. * This room looks like it was meant to store something... It's booby-trapped, I think. If you wander off the correct path, it looks like you'll take damage, don'tcha think? Rooms like this ALWAYS have a hint, though. It's like, a law. See anything like that? * This is Grodus's lab. He must have his researchers work on various potions here. I don't think we should touch any of this stuff, though. One wrong move and... KABOOOOOOM! ...Know what I mean? * This looks like some kinda teleporter. Who knows where that thing would send us? Maybe that's what the X-Nauts use to go between the moon and the earth. I think we have to switch it on and then stand on the platform to use it. * This looks like a lab for genetic experimentation... Maybe Yux were made here... I guess they must have some pretty advanced technology if they can do stuff like that. Hey, by the way, Mario... You see up there? One of these ceiling panels is loose. Don't you have some super move or something that can get us up there? * This is a changing room. I guess even X-Nauts have to change out of their uniforms... But what do you think they look like under those suits? I'm... not gonna think about it. There's a ventilation duct in the ceiling at one end... That's not good for privacy! * This place is a bit overdone, huh? It just screams, "Hey! I'm an evil mastermind!" I wonder if poor Princess Peach got dragged in here before? * What's this room for, huh? Is it some kind of office for the X-Naut boss or what? Maybe we should just give it a once-over to make sure we don't miss anything. Boy, and what's with these tanks full of Nibbles? Jeepers, that creeps me out... * What's this room for, huh? I feel like I've seen that face somewhere before... Hmmm... Oh well, forget about it, I guess. * Wonder what this room's for? There are beds and lockers, but we can't nap here... There's nothing else, really. The weird thing is, it kind of smells nice in here, huh? Why do you think that is? * This is a... shower room? I guess every evil-guy base of ultimate doom needs one... Just because you're evil doesn't mean you enjoy B.O., y'know what I mean? * This room looks like it was meant to store something... It's booby-trapped, I think. If you stay on the tiles that were lit up, I think you'll be OK, Mario. Er... But you should totally go first, one way or the other... * There are three panels here. I guess that means we need three Card Keys, huh? There must be something pretty important behind this door to have such security... * This is the X-Naut factory. I think they make all kinds of stuff here. It's pretty complicated, what with the crane and the pipe, and all those gears... Maybe we should just take this room one bit at a time, don'tcha think? * This is the computer room. This must be where Princess Peach met with TEC. * This is where they built Magnus Von Grapple and Magnus Von Grapple 2.0. But there doesn't seem to be anything here now... Nope. Let's go, Mario. PALACE OF SHADOW: * This is the entrance to the Palace of Shadow. It's seen no visitors for 1,000 years... It's so big... It kind of overwhelms you, doesn't it? And that treasure is here... Treasure or no, I don't like the vibe from this place... Maybe it's just my nerves... * There's a long stairway connected to this underground lake. Those lights floating in the darkness are really pretty... but also pretty spooky. * We're inside the Palace of Shadow. There's a long corridor leading down. This palace sure is big and super-rich-looking, huh? I wonder what kind of people lived here before the place slept for 1,000 years? * We're inside the Palace of Shadow. This is a corridor, I think... Looks like spike traps... Forget the enemies... Just take it one step at a time! * We're inside the Palace of Shadow. There's a large bridge over the lake here. Those fire bars in the middle are kind of a problem, huh? We'd better avoid them. If you're all sketched out trying to jump them, just use Vivian's Veil ability! * What a humongous room... I'd say it was pretty, but even this place feels weird... It's like the whole palace got cursed or something. Did you just say "duh" to me? * We're inside the Palace of Shadow. There's a long hall leading down from here. It kinda feels like the earth is slowly swallowing us as we progress down. Yuck. * We're inside the Palace of Shadow. There doesn't seem to be anything special here. Still, it has that same gross feeling... even though it's so nice and spacious... * We're inside the Palace of Shadow. Seems normal... but I bet there's a secret here... We should check EVERYTHING to make sure there's nothing amiss, don'tcha think? You know... Look for anything out of the ordinary... * This is the palace garden... but it feels so cold and icky. It's like time stopped here... We gotta do something about those Chain-Chomps in the middle if we wanna move on. Yeah, that's right... I don't just mean the moving ones... * We're inside the Palace of Shadow. This seems to be a corridor. I'm observant, huh? Listen, Mario... I know I've said this before, but don't forget that you're not in this alone. You should rely on your partners' abilities if you ever get stuck or anything. * This is another corridor. I wonder how long these things go on? I'm sure we'll need all of your special skills, AND those of your partners. Don't forget to use your strongest muscle, too... Your noggin! Hee hee! * We're inside of the Palace of Shadow. This is another corridor. Big surprise. We'd better watch below our feet as well as above our heads, know what I mean? But, uh, don't forget the area above your head, too! Does that make any sense? * We're inside the Palace of Shadow. There don't seem to be any big puzzles here. We just need to go open that door on the right. That's all. Whee. Exciting. * This is Gloomtail's room. I wonder if he was here for all 1,000 years? Dragons do live a long time, I heard, but dang... Without him in it, there doesn't seem to be anything special about the room. * How could there be such a huge tower underground? And why was it built...? There seem to be a lot of rooms here... and every one contains a riddle... * There's something written on the wall. Based on that message, I'd say... That word "beyond" probably refers to away from the door. So that means the left block. So then the word "before" must refer to the right block. Are you with me, Mario? Still, the way they repeat those words must have some meaning too, don'tcha think? * There's something written on the wall. Based on that message, I'd say... Maybe if we break a block here, it'll do something to a block in another room? * There's something written on the wall. Based on that message, I'd say... There's something fishy about the wall here? Uh, maybe? We oughta investigate... * There's something written on the wall. Based on that message, I'd say... ...There's definitely something in the center of the room, don'tcha think? But what are we supposed to do with something we can't see? This is insanity! * There's something written on the wall. Based on that message, I'd say... We're supposed to defeat these guys in order, from weakest to strongest? Uh... Well, I know the weakest is the Dull Bones in the green shoes there... That help? * There's something written on the wall. Based on that message, I'd say... I guess we just have to go straight in from the entrance. And then when we get to the wall, we have to do something... Yeah... something. * There's something written on the wall. Based on that message, I'd say... That if we can be seen, then there won't be anything to see in this room? ...Huh? * The gears in the back of this room started moving when we unlocked that planetarium... Listen, Mario... We're gonna have to rely on everything we've learned to get through this. Just think about what we've been through, and I'm sure you'll find a way, OK? * We're inside the Palace of Shadow. This place is all about kooky puzzles, huh? You see those [star] marks in the middle of the corridor? They've GOTTA be important. * We're inside the Palace of Shadow. We must be WAY underground by now. I'm totally running out of advice at this point, sorry. I have advisor's block. Hey, but don't worry! Have faith in yourself and your friends, and we'll win! * What is this weird room? It's quiet... A little TOO... Well, let's just say it's quiet. There's a Save Block over there, and I'm thinking it would be smart to use it. * This must be the main hall or something. It sure is a humongous space... This must've been where the most important person in the palace stayed... But standing here makes me totally uneasy... Why is that? * There's a long, long staircase leading down. And I get a REALLY nasty feeling about what's waiting down there. But we've come this far, so we gotta soldier on. Let's go, Mario. * We're in the deepest room in the Palace of Shadow. ...The Shadow Queen's crypt. I gotta be honest... I totally thought we were goners at the time. Seriously. I was secretly wigging out, but then I saw how you wouldn't give up... Awesome. Anyway, enough reminiscing. There's nothing here now, Mario. Let's go back. ------------------PEOPLE------------------ ROGUEPORT: * That's Bomberto, a Bob-omb sailor. He's small, but he's a super-hard worker. He doesn't just sail, either! He loads and unloads stuff, too! Look at those muscles! * By the sound of it, something bad happened to this sailor, and now he hates the sea. Sounds so sad... I wonder what he thinks about when he looks out at the ocean... * That's a Toad sailor. He seems pretty freaked out to be a sailor, but hey. I always hear him worrying about his brother, so maybe that's why he's so tweaked. Y'know, speaking of which, you don't exactly worry about Luigi much, do you? * That's a Bob-omb sailor. He does basic harbor work, like loading and unloading. He's kinda gruff, but he seems to have decent advice. Pretty OK guy, all around. * That's Pa-Patch the Bob-omb. He's a real salty sailor type. Totally active guy, huh? Yeah, he looks pretty burly, too. Gotta love strong go-getters, huh? * That's a Toad sailor who works here at Rogueport Harbor. I hear he loves his family so much that it's hard for him to go on long voyages. * That guy's a local Goomba. He'll give you advice and stuff, so he's OK. His tips totally might come in handy, so you oughta talk to him as often as possible. * That's Goomther the Goomba. He's always grumbling about getting ripped off... ...He must be easy to con. Which isn't to say that we should con him, of course! * That guy's Mousimilian. He sniffs out propositions that might make him loot. With his nose for opportunity, he could really do well in the straight business world... But I guess no one in Rogueport is really cut out for the suit-and-tie life... * That's a lazy Doogan. He hunts shady "jobs" that he expects to pay well. I bet he's never done an honest day's work in his life. What a piece of work. * That's Zess T., a super-skilled Toad chef. With the right ingredients, she can make ANYTHING! She's like a kitchen magician! I am like, a TOTAL klutz in the kitchen, so I really respect a chef's touch. * Toad Bros. Bazaar is run by a pair of Toad brothers. This one's Thriff T. They must get along really well to be able to run a shop together, y'know? ...But then again, you and Luigi are pretty tight, too, right? You guys ever fight? * That's Plenn T., the manager of the Toad Bros. Bazaar. He originally opened this store with his brother, Thriff T. Those two guys... I can never tell them apart, y'know? They're totally identical. * That guy's a Bob-omb sailor. I think he comes here every time his ship makes port. I don't blame him. This place has totally cool atmosphere. I'd be a regular, too... * That guy practically lives here... He must like it, huh? He's like, the ultimate regular. As far as I can tell, he's recounting the tales of every love of his life, one by one. * That's the entrepreneur, Flavio. He's like, super-rich, and he owns lots of ships. What's he doing in here so early in the day, though? Think he's doing OK? * That's the innkeeper, Podley. He looks distinguished, always polishing those glasses... I wouldn't mind having a cold Chuckola Cola sometime and listening to him talk... He opened this inn a long time ago, so he really knows about the townsfolk. * That woman runs the inn. She's sweet and helpful, unlike most Rogueporters. If your HP and FP get too low, come here to get them restored with a night of rest. * That's Toadsworth, steward of Princess Peach's castle. He's an active senior! He's been really worried since Peach went missing... I hope we can mellow him out. * That's McGoomba. A Goomba, obviously. I think maybe he's on the lam from somewhere. I mean, why else would he be chilling in this back alley? It's nasty here! * That's a suspicious Doogan. He craves that one big score, but I doubt it'll happen. I mean, even if he did make some money, he'd just blow it. He depresses me... * That's a bandit who's made this place his hideout. Seems like he totally loves this place... but would it kill him to clean up a bit? * That's Merlon. He's this odd old man who says really bizarre things sometimes. He helps power up your allies here. For three Shine Sprites, he raises a partner one rank. * That's Gus. He's part of that band of thieves who call themselves the Robbos. He looks like a total maniac, but he's actually a nice guy. Don't judge books by covers! * That's Goomfrey the Goomba. He looks kind of shady, I guess, but he's cool. People call him a "fixer." Y'know, a guy that can make any problem... just go away. * That's Professor Frankly, head of the archaeology department at U Goom. He's researching the legendary treasure here. I totally respect him. You know the famous Professor Kolorado? He was a student of Frankly's! * That's Swindell, the bandit. At least, I HEAR he's a thief, but I've never seen him steal. He's always whispering to Arfur about something. * That's Arfur. He's always hanging around here. He looks totally suspicious, but apparently he lives by some super-stern moral code. * That's Larson, the bandit. The word's out on his scam, so he's laying low here. Of course, he wouldn't have to lay low ANYWHERE if he'd just kept his nose clean. You think maybe he just gets a thrill from breaking the law or what? * Whoa! Mario, that's the guy! That's Larson, the thief that Goomther asked us to catch! So this is where he's been hiding! Let's nab him and get the reward! C'mon! * That's Darkly. He loooooooves the dark. He just stays here in the shadows all day long. Sounds kinda creepy to me, but hey, whatever powers you up, know what I mean? * That's the badge manager at the Lovely Howz of Badges. For a manager, she sure is gone from the store a lot... Where do you think she goes? This shop's small, but it's totally adorable. She really knows how to decorate. * That's the badge clerk that works part-time here at the Lovely Howz of Badges. It sounds like he really wants to open his own badge shop someday. Yeah, I think he's using this job to learn the business! Talk about motivation! * That's Garf, part of the Robbo gang. I'm pretty sure he's related to Gus. He looks pretty gnarly, but he's actually pretty cool. Don't judge folks on looks! * Who's this guy? ...Come on, you really need to ask me that? Gimme a break! That's your brother, Luigi! But... I wonder why he's here? I'm sure he'll tell you if you ask him. * That guy's Charlieton. He's a salesman from way far away. His prices are steep, but he's normally got rare items and pretty unusual badges. He might even have a few completely unique items that he dug up somewhere... * That's Goomez, the Goomba. He must be totally tired. He's ALWAYS resting here. Who can blame him, though? We could all use some downtime, am I right? * That's a Toad from the west side. She's a big theatergoer, and apparently she's also a raving fan of Flurrie's. * This guy really likes... No, he totally LOVES the Happy Lucky Lottery! He wakes up each day with one thing on his mind: that day's winning number! * That's a neighborhood kid. He seems to like going out and exploring new places. ...But he does seem to have a gripe about his family... I wonder what it is... * A new day, a new chance! That's Lucky, who runs the Happy Lucky Lottery. He's a real stickler for the rules, so if he catches you cheating... Well, just be careful, Mario! * That's Peeka, a Boo that works at Westside Goods. She's so pretty... for a Boo. I think her sister's Lahla, the Boo who works at the Pianta Parlor. * That's Rocko, of the Piantas. He's the muscle that keeps the parlor moving smoothly. He's new to the Pianta syndicate. I think he's still low man on the totem pole. * That's a Goomba who really likes this parlor. He always seems to be in a good mood. I wouldn't mind winning like he does every now and then. Lucky stiff. * That's a parlor customer. I think she leaves her hubbie home with the kids so she can play here all day long. Yeah, that's healthy. * That's a parlor customer. She's a Squeek, it looks like. Good to see a girl in here. It's a good sign if this place is safe enough for regular folks to go to. * That's Lahla, a Boo cutie. She works the desk at the Pianta Parlor. Her sister's Peeka, the Boo who works in the shop. I hear they both used to be models. * That Koopa lives here. He must've been born lucky, 'cause he ALWAYS succeeds. He has all the money he'll ever need, but I think he's still unfulfilled somehow. Hmm... Then again, that doesn't surprise me, since he spends all day in bed. It just goes to show, you can't buy happiness, and you should occasionally leave bed. * I think this kid lives here. He's afraid to go outside, so he spends all day in here. He's got some family issues, I think, but it's not our place to stick our noses in. Kids this age tend to overdramatize their problems anyway, know what I mean? * That guy's a frustrated novelist. He's got great ideas, but he ruins them on paper. I think he just psyches himself out. I mean, he's got the talent and all... * That's Stewart, the blimp conductor. His job is to check blimp passengers' tickets. I hear he loved the sea even as a child and wanted to become a sailor... But now he's sailing the skies instead... I guess his dream sorta came true, huh? He's like an air sailor, or something... * That's Laki, a train-loving Lakitu. All this guy does is sit here and watch trains. I'm sure he'd love to ride the Excess Express, but he can't afford a ticket. It'd be cool if he saved up enough to ride it just once in his life, y'know? * That's Porter, the station manager here in Rogueport. He checks train tickets. I hear he loves trains so much that he has like, a billion model trains at home. Maybe he's just using his adulthood to buy all the things he wanted as a kid... * This girl's always here. She's fixated on romantic scenes in train stations. I see where she comes from... Train-station platforms do have that romantic air... * That's Lumpy, a Ratooey. His dream is to strike it rich by finding oil. Gotta admire the dedication! Guys like this make me want to chase my dreams harder! Still... When I talk to him, it seems more like he's just up for whatever, you know? * That's Pierre. He sure does seem to have a lot of free time, doesn't he? Word is, he's been busting his tail lately to catch the eye of the crime boss, Ishnail. * That's Ishnail, leader of the thief band called the Robbos. He REALLY hates Don Pianta. I guess that's to be expected, since they're bitter rivals and everything. He's got some issues about money, but he's OK otherwise. Who knew? * That's your brother, Loobie... Wait, no! I mean, uh... Loofa... No, I mean Luigi! If you wonder what Luigi's up to, I'm sure he'd tell you. All you gotta do is ask! In fact, it kinda looks like he's dying to tell you stuff, so you oughta rap with him! * That's Luigi's Blooper friend, Blooey. It's totally weird to find Bloopers on dry land. He seems peeved, though... I wonder why he looks all fried to a golden crisp? * That's Vinny, of the Piantas. That guy there's his brother, Tony. They're super-tight. They live for their boss, seriously. They'd put their lives on the line for him. * That's Tony, of the Piantas. That guy there's his brother, Vinny. They're super-tight. Tony's a wise guy who doesn't mind mixing it up a bit, if you know what I mean... * That's the boss, Don Pianta. It's true what they say about power: this guy's got POISE. But he's got a mean streak a mile wide... They call him "The Don of Untimely Death." Still, he's got a really soft spot for his daughter, Francesca... * That's Francesca the Pianta. She's "well connected," get me? Her dad's a big boss. She doesn't crave money or power or anything like that, though. She lives for love. Doesn't that, like, totally melt your heart? People could learn from this girl! * That's Francesca's boyfriend, Frankie. He's the future of the Pianta syndicate. Hard to believe, isn't it? Still, he's the number-two guy after Don Pianta. You'd think he'd be this tough guy, but Francesca has him eating out of her hand. * I'm sure you know this, but that's your brother, Luigi. Duh. It seems like he's suspenders-deep in his own crazy adventure right now. If you ask him, he'll tell you all about it... but I wonder how much of his story is true... * That's Jerry, Luigi's Bob-omb buddy. He's a little different from most Bob-ombs. He's really burning with a righteous fire, and I think he's seen some... horrible... things. Speaking of which, I wonder if I'll ever be a bride... Hee hee hee hee hee! * That's Luigi's pal, Torque. I hear he's like, a totally excellent mechanic. According to Mechanics Weekly... that tool on his back can basically do anything. He seems ticked off, though. I wonder what happened? * That's Ms. Mowz, the thief. Hmph. She jets off to exotic places to find rare badges. She's only like, the biggest flirt I've ever met in my entire life! It's weird that she's the anonymous requester of the super-secret badge... * That's a Bob-omb sailor. He's one of the guys going to Keelhaul Key with us. Why do you think so many Bob-ombs become sailors? Kinda weird, huh? * That's one of the Toads who's coming with us to Keelhaul Key. Sounds like she got tired of life in Rogueport and wants a fresh start on Keelhaul Key. Hey, she's young, y'know? That's the time to get out there and try new stuff! * That's Thriff T. the Toad. He and his brother run the Toad Bros. Bazaar. He says he wants to go to Keelhaul Key to open his own shop. Not a bad dream! I get totally jealous of people who stay so focused on their goals, y'know? But... How many customers does he expect to get on a deserted island, anyway? * That's one of the sailors going with us to Keelhaul Key. He seems super-motivated, so we're totally lucky to have him, know what I mean? * That's the entrepreneur, Flavio. He's like, super-rich. He owns lots of ships. I don't know for sure, but it looks like this ship is his favorite. * They call that guy Four-Eyes. He's one of the sailors coming with us to Keelhaul Key. I totally feel like I've seen him somewhere before, though... ...Maybe I'm just going nuts. * That guy's name is Grifty. He's a laid-back rooftop minstrel-type guy. He tends to know all of the stories that get passed around Rogueport's streets. For a couple coins, he'll tell you one... and you never know, it might help on our travels. * That's a Bob-omb sailor. The workers at the docks say he's some kind of legend. I heard he was stubborn, but who knew he'd give us this much trouble? Seriously! It'd be nice if Professor Frankly could tell us something about him... * That's Admiral Bobbery. All the dock workers call him a legendary helmsman. I don't know if that's true, but he definitely seems like the most capable sailor here! I know he's been through a lot, but I'm glad we brought him around, aren't you? * That's Cortez, remember? The dread pirate ghost feared by all? Ring a bell? Boy, hard to imagine someone that scary would like us... But he's just a big sweetie! Plus, he's like our taxi service between Rogueport and Keelhaul Key! I love him! * You know that sailor who's constantly freaking out? That's his brother, there. Talking to guys like this, it seems like sailors always want to get back to sea... But they're pros, right? Do they really need to worry about each other so much? * That's Luigi's Dayzee friend, Hayzee. Apparently, Hayzee is an actor/director. You know Luigi's acting debut, right? The grass thing? I could never play grass... I'd wanna play a princess! And a prince would wake me with a kiss... So romantic! * That's Frankie, a member of the Pianta syndicate. He's a MONSTER when he's angry. Everybody in Rogueport talks about his and Francesca's public displays of affection. * That's Don Pianta's daughter, Francesca. She's head-over-heels for Frankie. Seems like she's got Frankie on a pretty short leash, but... Hey, they're happy, right? * That's Don Pianta, the former syndicate boss. He's retired now, but he's still a force. He must be here because he's all worried about Frankie and Francesca, huh? Or... maybe he's just worried that Francesca's cracking the whip on poor old Frankie! * That's Luigi's pal, Screamy. Screamy creeps me out... I've never seen anyone like that. Where's he from? * That's Luigi's Blooper friend, Blooey. It's totally weird to find Bloopers on dry land. He seems jolly to be fried to a golden crisp, though... Did something good happen? * That's Goose. Turns out the Trouble Center was being run by him and Ishnail's boys. He may look violent, but he's actually an intellectual. People surprise you, huh? ROGUEPORT SEWERS: * That's the fortune-teller, Merluvlee. She's kind of mysterious, as you'd expect... She divines the locations of things, or where we should go. People say she's always right. And... they say she's really cute under that veil. I hear some people even fall for her! * That's Dazzle, the Star-Piece collector. He'll trade you badges for Star Pieces. Once you collect a few Star Pieces, you should definitely come talk to him. Hey, but why do you think he collects them, anyway? You think he bathes in them? * Hmmm... It seems to be almost inviting us to do something, doesn't it? But what? You could jump on it, but you'd totally ruin your shoes, so I'd just hammer it! * That's the charmer, Merlee. She's bright and cheery, huh? If you have her charm you, you'll receive various bonuses in battle. They're super-helpful, so next time you have a chance, be sure to have her charm you! Oh, AND I hear she's the twin sister of Merluvlee, the fortune-teller! * That's a subterranean Goomba. I think he just moved down here recently. Even so, he sure seems to know a lot about these ruins. What's he do for a living? * This Squeek seems to be an archaeologist... and she's here to research the underground. But it sounds like she lost her partner down here... I feel like, SO bad for her... * That's Eddie the Mask. He's some kinda health nut... Lots of nuts down here, huh? This one's a health nut, though, so he knows about Stylish moves. Ask him! * That's a Bandit who lives underground. He seems to come by this shop often. He must like talking to Wonky and the shop owner, huh? Go figure. * That's Wonky, the go-to guy for useful info. He looks nuts, but I think his tips are OK. Just make sure you get your money's worth... Not that you'll know until you pay... * This Bob-omb lives down here. That pink color's really cute... but I think this is a dude. He's got his own ambitions of being an info guy like Wonky, selling tips for cash... But his tips don't make even a tiny little bit of sense. Hello? Can you say "stupid"? * That's the cola bar owner, Herb T. He's a middle-aged guy with a wild mustache. He may look like just another glass-polisher, but he's an old-school cola bartender. He's hilarious, but I'm sure he's heard his share of super-depressing stuff, too. * That's the manager of the Deepdown Depot. She seems to be pretty courteous. Hey, and there are some super-classy items on display here, huh? But jeepers creepers, what sort of person buys gold bars, anyway? Freaks, that's who! * That's Punio, who lives in the Great Tree of Boggly Woods. And hey, he must be the one we saw earlier, right? Yeah, totally! * That's Pine T. Jr., who asked us to find his dad. Hey, guy! * That's Pine T. Sr., the Toad. He's the father of Pine T. Jr., who asked us to help him out. We gotta help Pine T. Sr. quickly, for his son's sake! * That's Charlieton, the merchant. I guess he sells his wares here, too. But... it looks like his stuff gets more expensive the deeper he is in the pit. I'm happy to be able to shop here and all, but sheesh... Well, it's your money. * That's a Mover. Yeah, they sometimes appear in the Pit of 100 Trials. For a few coins, he'll send you to another floor. It's up to you if you wanna use him. * That's Pine T. Sr., who fainted in the Pit of 100 Trials. I'm glad he's home safe now. Parents shouldn't worry their kids like that, y'know? * That's Chet Rippo, the adjuster. He can adjust your stats or your partners' ranks. Me, I wouldn't trust this guy with anything more complex than plucking back hair... I know I always say you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but still... PETALBURG: * That's a Petalburg Koopa. He seems sorta like the spokesperson for this town. I heard this guy's thinking of running for mayor. He must be more ambitious than he looks. * That's the Petalburg innkeeper. She'll take care of you when you're hurting. Don't get all proud and overdo it out there... I mean, everyone has their limits. Hey, and staying at an inn will even refill your Star Power! Doesn't that rule? * That's Bub-ulber. Doesn't it kinda weird you out to see a talking flower? I mean, where's his head? Is it the flower part? ...Or the bulb part? * That's a Toad from Petalburg. He seems like, totally obsessed with Hooktail. Then again, he looks kinda like everything freaks him out. Poor little guy... * This kid sure is a fanatic. All he talks about is video games, you notice that? I wonder if he's finished his homework for today? Y'know, homework's important, too! * That's Niff T., the manager of the shop. You can buy and sell items in here. I gotta say, he reminds me of the guys in the Rogueport shop... Yeah, real similar... Hmmm... Maybe it's just me... Or maybe I should just... not worry about it! * ...EWWWWWW!!! What's with this guy, huh?!? It grosses me out just being NEAR this weirdo! ...All right, fine, whatever. His name is Dupree. He's this icky guy who tries to sweet-talk everybody. ...There, no more! * That's General White, the Bob-omb. I guess white Bob-ombs are pretty rare. He has a cool mustache, too. He might even give your lip fuzz a run for its money! * This guy's apparently a total die-hard Peach fan. He even collects Peach merchandise! He has posters and pictures up everywhere. Boy, get a life, know what I mean? Hey! Mario! Don't tell me YOU have a secret collection of plush Peach dolls, too! * That's a Bub-ulb, a talking flower. I think he lives in Petalburg. I know he's a plant, but he makes more sense than these other crazy Petalburgers! * That's a Petalburg Koopa. He always seems to be worried about something. It's weird, too, 'cause the rest of this town is so laid-back, y'know? * That's a Toad from Petalburg. He just seems like a regular Toad to me... But I hear he leads a secret life as president of the Luigi Fan Club! * These are the Traveling Sisters 3. They seem to go everywhere together. They seem so ditzy, though. Do they even notice each new place they wind up in? * These are the Traveling Sisters 3. They seem to go everywhere together. Sounds nice. Y'know, traveling. I wish I had time to travel with friends from school... * These are the Traveling Sisters 3. It looks like they're having fun. They seem to just flit off to each new place without really exploring anywhere. * That's the gatekeeper of Petalburg. He's super-dutiful about guarding this gate. But I bet he'd totally run for cover if real monsters ever did show up here... I just get a feeling about him. Goomba's intuition, maybe? * That's Toce T., a Toad from Petalburg. She seems really huffy about something. She sure does keep a straight face, though. I guess she's a pretty tough cookie... * That's Koopie Koo, a local Petalburger. She seems to be Koops's girlfriend. Gosh, she's really cute... and she seems to have a good head on her, too. Thing is, because she's smart, she kinda mothers Koops a little bit... I guess it's a complicated relationship. But then again, what relationship isn't? * That's Koops, from Petalburg. He's got confidence issues... He's a... cringer, y'know? But he's definitely got a serious interest in Hooktail... I wonder why? * That's Kroop, the mayor of Petalburg. He just babbles, whether he's alone or not. I just can't tell if he's really senile, or if he's just working that angle, y'know? * That's Koops's dad, Koopley. He seems kind of out of it. Are all Koopas space cadets? Then again, Koops is really with it... Maybe that's 'cause his dad is like this... Anyway, Koopley does worry about Koops a lot, so I guess he's a good dad after all. PETAL MEADOWS: * That's Koops, from Petalburg. He's been waiting here, hoping to join you. He's a bit green, but braver than I thought... I'll have to rethink my first impression. I mean, he seems totally earnest, know what I mean? We should take him along. HOOKTAIL CASTLE: * ...Koops's dad? No, I don't think so... * What a creepy pile of bones. I mean, they're ALL creepy, but this one's SUPER-creepy! I don't really feel like taking a look at it, but if we don't, we'll never get farther... * Hey, y'know, I wonder... Could this be Koopook, who asked us for help? Y'know, the guy who asked us to find him somewhere in Hooktail's castle? BOGGLY WOODS: * This is the youngest sister of the three. The oldest one REALLY picks on her, huh? I don't know whose picture they're talking about, but you think she really lost it? * I guess that's the middle sister. She seems like the strong, silent type to me. Hmm... I can't get a good read on this girl at all... * This shady woman is certainly selfish and mean! I mean, what a total meanie! You see how cruel she is to her own sister? I wonder what went on between them... * That's that totally gross guy, Dupree! What the heck is THAT guy doing here? Omigosh! You don't think he followed us here 'cause he's infatuated with me, do you? ...No? Oh, what, like it's not even possible?!? That's kinda insulting, Mario! * That's Doe T., the Toad who asked us for help. He came all this way to see the Great Tree for himself. Now, let's clear out all the enemies here like he asked, OK, Mario? THE GREAT TREE: * That's Punio of the Punies. He sure is a hardworking little fella, huh? Don't you just wanna cheer him on? I always root for the underdog. Or whatever he is. * That's Puniper of the Punies. He sure is big for a Puni. Too bad his head is big, too! * That's Punio's sister, Petuni. She really cares about her brother. I mean, you can just FEEL her love for him! I feel totally awful that she's all trapped in here. Let's hurry up and help her and the rest of them, OK? * That's the elder that Puniper mentioned. You gotta be real old to be called "elder"... Being trapped in here can't be good for her health... Let's hurry up and help her! * That's Pungent, the manager of this shop. Weird place for a shop, if you ask me. But since we're here, I guess we could buy something... * That's Pungry of the Punies. He seems to be friends with Pungent, as far as I can tell. I guess they avoided any trouble with the X-Nauts by holing up in here. * Hey, what the heck? Mario, there's somebody here! Try talking to him! * If you look closely, Punio is actually different from the other Punies. First of all, his dealy-bopper is green... His coat's different too... Did you notice? * That's Puniper of the Punies. He's a little bigger than the others, obviously. So maybe he can help us reach that special area... Hee hee! Just kidding. His only special power is complaining, I think. * That's Petuni, Punio's sister. She really trusts her brother. Let's hurry up and get her out of here. Oh, and all of the others, too. * That's Petuni of the Punies. She's Punio's little sister. I hope they can all live peacefully together now, don't you? * That's Puniper of the Punies. This guy just needs to stop whining and do what's right. I mean, he's huge! When you got a big bod, you gotta step up and take charge! * That's the Puni elder. She's ancient, but actually peppier than everyone else. No need to worry about her! She'll live to be 150, griping and nagging all the way... * That's Jabble of the Jabbies. I think Punio and Jabble are old friends. I sure hope the Punies and Jabbies can live together in peace from now on... * Well, that's a Puni, all right... Look, I'm totally sorry, Mario. Punio and those guys are the only ones I can recognize! * That's a Puni... You know what I wonder? Why are they called Punies? Because they're... Oh... right. * That's a Puni... ........ Look, I already told you! I can't tell them apart except for Punio and his friends! * That's a Jabbi. Those stingy-looking beaks on Jabbies are kinda scary. Getting stung is NOT cool! * That's a Jabbi. It doesn't seem like they've been fighing with the Punies at all lately. Sweet! * That's a Jabbi. I can't tell one from another, though. I'm sure they can tell themselves apart... * That's a Jabbi. The Punies are pretty weird, but boy, so are the Jabbies! I mean, what do they eat? * That's a Jabbi. They have wings, but they just scuttle along the ground. Is that considered walking? * That's a Jabbi. And that's all you need to know, smart guy. * That's a Puni. So what do you think that noise is that Punies make when they walk, anyway? Is that noise coming from their bodies? And if so, which part? And why? * That's a Jabbi. They always make that weird face, like... "Huh? What did I do?" What? You can actually tell what they're thinking? Get out! * That's a Jabbi. I guess they've lived in the Great Tree for a while, too. Too bad they hate Punies. * That's a Jabbi. I bet a lot of them are really nice if you get to know them. Or not. * That's a Jabbi. Why do you think they don't get along with the Punies? I just gotta know! * That's a Jabbi, all right... Lemme see... Hmmmmmmmmm... I think this might be Jabbula... Or was it Jabbubbity? * That's a Puni. A Puni is a Puni is a Puni. * That's a Puni. What else can I tell you? * That's a Puni. Hey, what is that thing on top of their heads, anyway? It's so weird... I swear, I just can't figure these little things out. * That's a Puni... Yup. Sure is. Look, what's wrong with just leaving it at that?! ...No good, huh? * That's a Puni... And his name is as follows... Umm... Oh, Mario, are you kidding? They all look exactly the same to me! I feel awful! * That's a Puni. I wonder how long Punies live, anyway... I mean, generally, smaller creatures don't live as long as larger ones, but... Hmm... Maybe we shouldn't think too much about that... * That's a Puni. Yeah, uh, his name is... let's see... Punifred. Ermmm... All right, FINE! That was just a guess. * That's Doe T., the Toad who asked us for help. I'm so glad he finally got to see this place, y'know? GLITZVILLE: * That's Stewart, the blimp conductor. He checks tickets for blimp passengers. He's what you call a Cheep-Cheep. Normally they don't hang out on land, but... They've actually been around for quite a while in the Mario Bros. series, you know. Oh, gosh, I just broke through the fourth wall, there, didn't I? Sorry. Just forget it. * That's a Toad from Glitzville. She really wants to travel, but she's terrified of flying. ...So my question is, how in the heck do you think she got here? Ponder THAT! * That's a Lakitu. He's come here for the atmosphere... Get it? Atmosphere? Ha! Anyway, he seems to think jokes like that beauty are totally hilarious. * That's a Toad from Glitzville. I think he works here. I don't know why, but he seems to be cheering for us. Hey, more power to ya! * That's Bub the Bob-omb. He's from a very rich family, so he's kind of spoiled. Still, kids are kids, no matter how big their trust fund is... Aren't they? * That's Goldbob the Bob-omb. He's the head of a wealthy business, Goldbobbington's. He's got buckets of ducats, they say. I guess some folks are just good with money! * That's Sylvia the Bob-omb. She's super-wealthy. She's got a real high-society air around her... Even her perfume smells like money. * This is the Toad that runs the Glitzville souvenir shop. They've got great stuff here. Tourists shop here a lot, but I hear that a lot of fighters do, too. * Wow, this lady is so pretty! I wonder what her name is. As far as I can tell, she always quietly enjoys her juice in the corner, alone. What is it that mysterious women do to become so mysterious? What a mystery! * That's the manager of the Glitzville Fresh Juice Shop. His name is Podler. Looks like a lot of fight fans gather here since the Glitz Pit is so close. Oh, hey, and by the way... Podler is a huge hammer fan. He totally LOVES hammers. * That's a Doogan fight fan. He seems to be a totally huge Rawk Hawk fan. Know what I think, though? He mostly just wants to win his bets. * That's a Lakitu fight fan. Apparently he thinks Prince Mush is the bomb. Prince Mush must've been a pretty big deal, sounds like. I wish I'd seen him just once. * That's a Doogan. He's really into pro fights. Obviously, he loves the Glitz Pit. You can always tell true fight fans by how totally rabid their opinions are. * That's a Toad who works here part-time. He always greets patrons like, "Welcome to the Glitz Pit!" Love that guy! * This guy's here with his son. I can't tell if he's psyched to be here with his boy, but... One way or the other, it's nice to see parents spending time with their kids. * This kid is still small, but he's like, the biggest Prince Mush fan I've ever SEEN! He's here with his dad. It's so CUTE to see kids and parents having fun! * That's a local cameraman. He seems a little flustered. I think he's new at this and makes lots of mistakes. Just a guess, though. * That's a local reporter. I'm pretty sure he covers the fight scene. He's such a veteran, he even directs the rookie cameraman next to him. * That's a Toad girl. She's totally in love with that Toad guy working here. Her crush is so powerful, even I'M getting butterflies! They'd be so CUTE together! * That's Ms. Mowz, the thief. She jets off to exotic locales to hunt for rare badges. The fact that she's here means the Glitz Pit must have something special... * That's Toodles the Toad. GOSH, this woman knows how to dress. I'm SO jealous! Even classy ladies like her come to watch the fights. I guess she likes tough guys... * That's a freelancer. He's always angling for the next big scoop. We'd better make sure this guy doesn't shoot us doing anything... incriminating. * This guy is Glitz Pit Security. He has to keep watch on this particular area. You can tell this guy works out all the time. I bet he's buffer than the fighters. * This guy is Glitz Pit Security. He has to keep watch on this particular area. Look at the huge pipes on this guy! Wowsers. I bet he's buffer than the fighters. * This guy is Glitz Pit Security. He has to keep watch on this particular area. Muscles here definitely hits the weights. I bet he's buffer than the fighters. * This guy is Glitz Pit Security. He has to keep watch on this particular area. Boy, this guy must work out all the time, huh? I bet he's buffer than the fighters. * This guy is Glitz Pit Security. He has to keep watch on this particular area. This guy must do like, a million sit-ups daily. I bet he's buffer than the fighters. * This guy is Glitz Pit Security. He has to keep watch on this particular area. This guy has arms as big as your thighs, Mario. I bet he's buffer than the fighters. * This guy is Glitz Pit Security. He has to keep watch on this particular area. This guy probably works out eight hours a day. I bet he's buffer than the fighters. * This guy is Glitz Pit Security. He has to keep watch on this particular area. This guy could probably bench our whole party. I bet he's buffer than the fighters. * This guy is Glitz Pit Security. He has to keep watch on this particular area. This guy must be a former Mr. Mushroom Kingdom. I bet he's buffer than the fighters. * This guy is Glitz Pit Security. He has to keep watch on this particular area. This guy must eat nothing but protein shakes. I bet he's buffer than the fighters. * This guy is Glitz Pit Security. He has to keep watch on this particular area. This guy looks like he could turn folks into pretzels. I bet he's buffer than the fighters. * That's Grubba, the Glitz Pit promoter. He talks a good game... a little TOO good. Then again, I guess promoters kinda HAVE to be super-greasy smooth talkers. Besides, it doesn't matter if he's trustworthy. We have to deal with him to be champs. * That's Grubba's manager, Jolene. She strikes me as a very driven young woman. She's a little cold, though... I mean, would it kill her to be a little nicer sometimes? * That's King K, a fighter. His shell's yellow, but I think he's just a basic Koopa. He seems like a genuinely good guy, Mario. Plus, I dig the way he talks! * That's Master Crash, the Bob-omb. He gives really good advice most of the time. Isn't it like, so totally nice to have a mentor who cares about you? * That's Bandy Andy. He's a competitor in this league, but he's never here. Maybe he just doesn't care about being champion... * That's Cleftor. He might sound a bit gruff... But I think he's actually nicer than he sounds, y'know? Maybe he's just a little shy. * That's Bandy Andy. He's always wandering around "investigating" stuff. Who knows if it'll help us, but I'm sure he's got plenty of info to share. * Ah! The champ, Rawk Hawk. He sure has the star quality you'd expect from a champ. But know what? Who cares? Everybody knows we're gonna be the next champions! * That's Mr. Hoggle from the Hot Dog Stand. He's sold dogs for like, 30 years! Nobody's as hot for Hot Dogs as him. He's always looking for the next miracle Hot Dog! Anyway, his dogs are famous. Nobody comes to visit here without having one. * Gosh, what a colorful egg! Must be a good one, huh? I mean, look at it jump! But jeepers creepers, I sure wouldn't want to try to eat it... I mean, EWWWWWW! I don't eat moving things. Let's hurry up, grab it, and give it back to Mr. Hoggle. * Awww, it's that gross guy, Dupree! What's he doing in Glitzville? How annoying! You don't think he thinks he's on an adventure with us... Do you? * That's Sir Swoop. He just got on board here. Hey, now HE'S the newbie! You definitely notice how quick the turnaround is when new people come in... * That's Shellshock. He seems to be totally on top of his game. For some reason, though, I think he's just a big softie. Maybe I'm thinking too much... * That's Hamma Jamma. He must be one of the strongest major-leaguers. He's got a hammer, like you do. I think that hammer is REALLY important to him. * That's the Koopinator. He definitely looks tough. When we fight against him, it'd be a good idea to have a strategy from the get-go. * That guy's Spiky Joe. He's a major-leaguer, so we'll see him in the ring. He's super-proud of his hard shell and the pointy spike on top of it. Whatever. * This guy is Glitz Pit Security. He has to keep watch on this particular area. I sure wouldn't want to get on this guy's bad side. I bet he's buffer than the fighters. * That's the older of the Iron Adonis Twins. You can tell he's older by his red shoes. I don't think they took their loss to you too well, Mario. I'd be careful around them... * That's the younger of the Iron Adonis Twins. He and his brother totally hate you. Is it a rule that older brothers wear red shoes and younger brothers wear green? * Bandy Andy looks terrible! Who could have done this?!? * Awww, poor King K! What happened here?!? * This guy is Glitz Pit Security. He has to keep watch on this particular area. Ten to one this guy has a professional trainer. I bet he's buffer than the fighters. * This guy is Glitz Pit Security. He has to keep watch on this particular area. Now THERE is a man who's lifted a few weights. I bet he's buffer than the fighters. * That's the business Ratooey who was on the train with us. I don't know what, but I just feel like crying when I think of the lives of businessmen. * That's Jolene, the Glitz Pit promoter. She's a real strong businesswoman. Boy, I wouldn't want her mad at me, know what I mean? She's all business! * This guy is Glitz Pit Security. He has to keep watch on this particular area. This guy could probably bench-press a Thwomp. I bet he's buffer than the fighters. TWILIGHT TOWN: * That's Freddy the pig... I mean... Freddy, the guy who got turned into a pig. When I think of him having to live like this, I get oinked up... I mean, choked up... * That's a local Twilighter. I have no idea if he or she's gloomy or jolly or what. I mean, I GUESS that's a pretty optimistic-looking person, but what do I know? * This pig also used to be a Twilighter. This is all just so totally tragic... * That's a Twilighter who got turned into a pig. Do you think that this guy was so gloomy that he's even a gloomy pig? ...That's crazy! * That's another Twilighter. I hope we can save him from that piggie fate. Hopefully he won't have a nervous breakdown about becoming a pig in the interim. * That's the Twilight Town mayor. He doesn't seem too reliable, though. I guess he's been through a lot, though, so maybe I oughta cut him some slack. * That's a Twilighter who got turned into a pig. This guy... I bet he didn't think he'd ever be forced to sniff out truffles, huh? * That's the guy who runs the Twilight Town inn. Be sure to rest here when you're down. Just remember, when you wake up in the morning, it's still gonna be dusk! * I feel like I've met these pigs before... How is that possible? * That's the oldest of three brothers. They're all close in age, so he's not much older. * That's the middle of three brothers. The middle child is so "middle child," y'know? ............................................ Does that even make sense? * That's the youngest of three brothers. Hmmm... Not that I can really tell just by looking. * That's Eve. It must be hard work raising all these kids, so I totally respect her. My mom always said that only hard work brings happiness... You think that's true? * I KNOW she didn't turn into a pig to feed her hungry children... That would be TOO gnarly! But that is some spooky timing, I swear... * That's a local Twilighter. He's pretty into how important the moon is here. I gotta admit, it sure is prominent in this dusk... but he still may be a werewolf. * I like the sound of this pig's oink. It's got a nice bass tone. ...What, is that weird? * That's a local Twilighter. Are all these people wearing major eyeliner or what? Oh! Maybe it's like, a local fashion thing! Didn't they get the memo that goth is out? * This pig also used to be a Twilighter. Who knows which one, but it seems dignified... * That's a novelist who lives in Twilight Town. I wonder what kind of novels he writes? I can't believe people actually read in this town. The light would kill my eyes. * That's the shop manager... who's now a pig. Yuck. What a totally awful fate... * That's the wife of the Twilight Shop manager. They run this place together. She seems like she really loves her husband, y'know? That is SO sweet! She seems kinda indecisive sometimes, though... * That's the gatekeeper of Twilight Town. There's a guy like this in every town, huh? If there weren't, you'd go wherever you want and beat the game so fast... Hee hee! Never mind. Let's never speak of it again... [heart] * Even the mayor got turned into a pig! At this rate, they'll all be pigs soon. And then... maybe even us... NO WAY! * That's the gatekeeper, who's been... piggified. I feel bad, but I guess we can pass freely... * This Twilighter's still a pig! ...Whoops! Maybe not! Omigosh, you CAN'T tell her I said that! I'm so serious! Take it to the grave... * That's Gloomer of Twilight Town. I'm so stoked that he's back to normal! If it had taken any longer, he might've ended up as a pork chop! * That's a Twilighter. He sure is gloomy, though. We got him back to normal, but I'm not sure he really cared about being a pig. * That's a local Twilighter. He sounds like he's totally bumming, though. You think maybe he wanted to stay a pig? * That's a local Twilighter. This person is still oinking. That's... not normal. You think this Twilighter's still not completely human? * That's a dignified old woman. Hey, there was a dignified pig here earlier, right? I KNEW it! * That's the Twilight Shop manager. He does most of the ordering and stocking. And I guess his wife handles the customers. I thought he looked sick at first, but that's normal for these people, I guess. TWILIGHT TRAIL: * This pig is a Twilighter. The shock of being cursed made him lose his way, I bet. CREEPY STEEPLE: * That's a Boo. You think it's one of the Boos from that box? KEELHAUL KEY: * That's a rare Whacka. I don't think you see many of his kind anymore, nope. If you whack a Whacka, they drop a Whacka Bump. Those are supposed to be delicious. They fetch a high price in gourmet auctions, too. Yup, super-precious delicacies. Still, whacking a defenseless creature to get one... You'd never do that, right, Mario? * That's a Toad sailor. He was with us on the ship, you remember? He seems like a hard worker. Doesn't he look reliable? * That's Pa-Patch the Bob-omb. He's a salty old sailor, and a totally solid deckhand. I heard he built all these shanties by himself, too! ...Still, he's afraid of ghosts. * That's the entrepreneur, Flavio. He calls himself the leader of this group. He's a funny enough guy... but he mostly loafs around and makes folks do his work. Not much of a leader, huh? ...But WHAT a dresser! * That's a Bob-omb sailor. He's one of the guys who came here with us. You think Bob-omb sailors have any trouble with their fuses getting wet? * That's Thriff T. the Toad. He came to Keelhaul Key to open his own store... But I don't think this is quite what he had in mind, know what I mean? Then again, maybe this is even better in some ways... * That's a Toad girl. She runs an inn of sorts in this tent. It may look totally budget, but this is a real business! * That's Admiral Bobbery. He came with us on the ship, don't you remember? He washed ashore with the rest of us... but he seems hurt. You think he's doing OK? * That's the timid Toad sailor. He came looking for his brother, who was lost at sea, and now he is, too... * This guy's called Four-Eyes. He's one of the sailors who came along to Keelhaul Key. It's the weirdest thing... I feel like I've seen him somewhere before, though... ...Maybe I'm just nuts. * That's Pa-Patch the Bob-omb. He's a salty old sailor, and a totally solid deckhand. ...But he's afraid of ghosts. * That's one of the shipwrecked Toads. He crashed just like we did. He seems to be living a fine, productive life here, though. He must be super-adaptive... * That's one of the shipwrecked Toads. He crashed just like we did. He seems to have taken well to the island life, though. What an optimistic guy! * That's Francesca's guy, Frankie. He's decided to stay here and live with Francesca. But I know he's really worried about Don Pianta... * That's Francesca the Pianta. She and Frankie liked it here and decided to stay. ...But we've got to get them back as quickly as we can! * I... totally... can't... BELIEVE... it! How's this guy know where we're gonna be all the time? ...And did he SWIM here or something? Please... Please tell me this is a nightmare... PIRATE'S GROTTO: * This is one of the shipwrecked Toads. He looks waaaaay worn out. * That's one of the shipwrecked Toads. I wonder how long he's been here? * That's Francesca the Pianta. She shipwrecked here even before we did. She doesn't seem too worried. I guess she doesn't care as long as she has Frankie. * That's Frankie, Francesca's boyfriend. He shipwrecked here even before we did. Looks like Francesca's got him totally wrapped around her little finger, as always. * That's one of the shipwrecked Toads. He crashed just like we did. * That's Goom Goom, who asked us for help, remember? Looks like he's enjoying life here on Keelhaul Key, but he's a bit lonely. By the way, you don't suppose I'd qualify as a cute Goomba gal, do you? EXCESS EXPRESS: * That's Heff T., the gourmet Toad. You think he goes more for quality or quantity? Yeah, he's definitely here for the food, not for the ride. It takes all sorts! * That's Toodles the Toad. Gosh, that woman is so fashionable it makes me sick! She's obviously the kind of lady that belongs on this train. Classy all the way! * I KNEW I knew him! That's Zip Toad, the movie star! Women go NUTS for him! Y'know, he's hot and all, but he seems pretty stuck up about being famous. I guess all celebrities are kinda like that. It's too bad, 'cause I kinda liked him... * That's the engineer of the Excess Express. Talk about a dream job for kids! But just saying you drive a train doesn't make you cool. You gotta LOVE the job! I mean, we're talking about a train, here. That's some serious responsibility! * That's the waitress of the Excess Express. Kinda spacey. Think she's an OK waitress? Probably not... but guys always go for girls like this, don't they? Why is that, Mario? * This is Chef Shimi, the cook aboard the Excess Express. He cooks for EVERYBODY! I can't figure this guy out. I have no idea if he's joking most of the time. * That's the Sales Stall owner. You can buy and sell things here, obviously. Yeah, just about the only thing cooler than traveling is traveling AND shopping! * That's Pennington, a train passenger. He SAYS he's a detective, but I don't know... I mean, why do detective types ALWAYS show up when something goes wrong, huh? * He's a Ratooey businessman. He's on the Excess Express for business, obviously. I bet he's putting everything on an expense account, huh? Is that a fringe benefit? * That's the conductor of the Excess Express. He takes care of passengers' needs. Keeping this train running smoothly is not just the engineer's job, y'know. * That's Ghost T. He's pretty lighthearted for a ghost... But still... A ghost is a ghost! * That's the waitress of the Excess Express. I bet she's a little shocked by all this! * That's the conductor of the Excess Express. I bet he didn't expect all this today! * That's a passenger on the Excess Express. Boy, I just LOVE train travel! The scenery whipping by right in front of you... It's so much better than planes and boats, y'know? * That's a passenger on the Excess Express. I wonder how much tickets for this train really cost? * That's a passenger on the Excess Express. I wonder what all these folks are gonna do when they get where they're going? Hey, you know what else is cool about train travel? You can just sit and space out! * That's a passenger on the Excess Express. Not to change the subject, but watching your health abroad is super-important. You wouldn't want to get sick and spoil the whole trip, would you? * That's a passenger on the Excess Express. The food on this train is so good, I bet people overeat while traveling. Then they have to go on diets as soon as they get off! That'd be weak! * That's a passenger on the Excess Express. Everyone has a different reason for traveling, in case you didn't know. Business... Pleasure... Honeymoons... Boy, I guess our reason for traveling is one of the weirder ones, huh? * That's a passenger on the Excess Express. Y'know, sometimes when I'm on a train, I just stare out the window and spaaaaaace. * That's a passenger on the Excess Express. Riding trains is awesome, no matter how old you are! Who WOULDN'T like it, huh? * That's a passenger on the Excess Express. I guess you have to have money to be here, right? ...Hard to tell just by looking. RIVERSIDE STATION: * That's a Riverside worker. He stands here all day to ensure the train's safety. Wow, I would hate having to work in a place like this. There's nothing around here! * That's Pennington, a train passenger. He SAYS he's a detective, but I don't know... Not to be, y'know, totally catty, but what kind of detective LOSES a suspect? * That's a Riverside Station worker. This is where they refuel the Excess Express. I wonder what it uses for fuel, anyway? Probably golden oil or something. POSHLEY HEIGHTS: * That's a Poshley Heights Station worker. He mostly just checks train tickets. I'm SO jealous of people that work in totally nice places. They even see movie stars... * That's the Ratooey businessman who was on the Excess Express. He's still trying to put everything on his expense account. SKETCHY! * That's Toodles the Toad. Gosh, that woman is so fashionable it makes me sick! She's obviously the kind of lady that belongs around here. Classy all the way! * That's a resident of Poshley Heights. He's related to Herringway, the novelist. Now that he's used to life here, he seems to be making the most of it, huh? * That's a resident of Poshley Heights. He's related to Herringway, the novelist. Herringway's detective books have sold so well that he's bought a second house here. * That's a resident of Poshley Heights. He's related to Herringway, the novelist. Moving from frigid Shiver City to toasty Poshley Heights seems to have irked him. * I've had more than enough of this guy... How does he do it? I'm almost impressed now! He moves at light speed, and he always knows where we'll be! Talk about freaky! * That's the hotel receptionist. If you feel down and out, you oughta rest here. This is the nicest hotel in a super-fancy town... I bet they have totally great service! * That's a resident of Poshley Heights. He says he walks barefoot for his health. I wonder if I should try that... * That's Toadia of Poshley Heights. She spends a lot of time thinking by this fountain. She's actually leading a double life as the secretary of the Luigi Fan Club. * That's a resident of Poshley Heights. He's totally fixated on this spot, for some reason. I was thinking maybe he hops into the fountain on really hot days... But wasn't there a nasty old snapping Nibbles in that fountain? * That's a resident of Poshley Heights. He really, REALLY likes the sanctum. Really. I kinda see where he's coming from... It IS a nice building. Talk about an eyeful, y'know? * That's Pennington. I guess sleuthing is just his hobby. He's the sanctum-keeper. I knew that detective bit was fishy... but I guess a little sleuthing on the side is OK... * That's Bow. Wait a second! Mario! Exactly WHAT is your relationship with her?!? Tell me NOW! Hee hee hee hee hee hee! Just kidding! I always wanted to say that. But you DID go on an adventure with her, right? Tell me sometime, OK? * That's Bootler. He's Bow's butler... but what does a butler do, exactly? It looks like he only listens to Bow, so I guess he wouldn't answer me if I asked... * That's Bub the Bob-omb. He's from a very rich family, so he's kind of spoiled. He put in a request to help him make up with a certain someone. FAHR OUTPOST: * That's Rob, of Fahr Outpost. He can judge personality by a person's facial hair. I've never heard of that sort of talent, personally... He may be lying his little fuse off... * That's Nob, of Fahr Outpost. He's a frank and refreshing little guy, huh? Y'know, it just struck me that only Bob-ombs live here, huh?? I THINK that's Nob... * That's a Fahr Outpost Bob-omb. No clothes, but do they mind the snow? NO! I grew up in a warm place, so this is like an icebox for me! ...AAAAACHOO! * That's Fred. He's not very freaky for a Fred, though. ...What? Not all Freds are freaky? News to me. * That's Gob. He says he wants to get bigger. Hey, pal, I hear what you're saying! He built that snowbob just to show how big he wants to grow. Now THAT'S big! * That's a Bob-omb from Fahr Outpost. He's kinda sick of playing in the snow, I think. I'm sure he'd have fun if we took him to Keelhaul Key or Glitzville, y'know? * You gotta hand it to this guy... To come out to even this forsaken place... Talk about totally tenacious... This dude is serious. * That's Swob. He's the type of guy that just says whatever he's thinking, y'know? To be honest, I kinda like people like that. * That's a Bob-omb from Fahr Outpost. He seems to be working on something tough... It must be nice to lie in the falling snow and think things over carefully... * That's a Bob-omb from Fahr Outpost. Why is he digging down into the snow like that? Hmmm... Maybe he's just a deep guy! * That's the mayor of Fahr Outpost. He doesn't seem too interested in welcoming us. Maybe Bob-ombs are like, some super-closed-off society or something... * That's the innkeeper. Hard to tell with Bob-ombs, but I think it's a female. If you get tired around here, definitely swing by this place to rest up. ...I doubt they'll have trouble finding an empty room. I mean, we ARE in the sticks! * That's the manager of Northwinds Mart. You can buy and sell items here. It's so nice and warm inside! Can we just hang out in here until my nose thaws out? * That's the mayor of Fahr Outpost. He seems to trust us now, thank goodness. PALACE OF SHADOW: * Those are some weird-colored bones. Very suspicious! ...But I feel like I've seen something like them before. I guess we're not gonna get much farther without checking them out, are we? * That's Beldam of the Shadow Sirens. Remember? Vivian's sister? I'm totally surprised she followed us all the way out here, though. And what was that plan she was yapping about, huh? This sounds bad... * That's Marilyn. I still can't really get a good read on her, unfortunately. She doesn't seem like such a bad type, if you ask me. ...But who knows for sure? * That's Doopliss, who I guess is a Shadow Siren now... Not a bad Frankly impersonator. Gosh, I hope nothing bad's happened to the REAL Professor Frankly... And why is Doopliss working with the Shadow Sirens, anyway? Too many questions! * That's Bowser. He came to the Palace of Shadow for Peach and that treasure. You gotta give him credit for coming this far, really. I almost respect him, actually. ...But no time for all that! We have to go after Grodus and Peach! C'mon! * That's Kammy Koopa. She's the old witch that serves as Bowser's advisor. But what do you care? Let's stop worrying about her and go save Peach! ------------------ENEMIES------------------ ROGUEPORT: * That's Gus. He's super-annoying and tries to take tolls from everyone. Max HP is 20, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. All in all, he's pretty tough. Oh, and I've told you a million times... that pointy spear of his hurts if you stomp on it. I wonder if this guy watches people pass by 365 days a year. Talk about a workaholic. ROGUEPORT SEWERS: * That's a Goomba. Umm... Yeah, I'm one of those, in case you hadn't noticed. Ahem... It says here: "Goombas are underlings of underlings." ...That is totally rude! Their maximum HP is 2. They have an Attack power of 1 and a Defense of 0. * That's a Spiky Goomba. ...A spiky-headed Goomba. What a creative name. That spike is super-pointy, so it's better to hit it with a hammer than jump on it. Maximum HP is 2, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. The addition of the spike means you'll hurt your feet if you jump on it. Duh! * That's a Paragoomba. Basically a Goomba with wings. I'm jealous! Maximum HP is 2, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. You can't hammer it while it's flying, but rough it up and it'll totally plummet! * That's a Spinia. A totally weird creature made of thin, papery boards. It certainly looks unique. Nobody knows much about these creatures, actually. Max HP is 3, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. Its attacks are super-swift, but it should be pretty easy. Just give it a "Hee-YAAA!" * That's a Blooper... and a really super-humongous one, too! EWWWW! It's all slimy!!! I just totally can't STAND slimy, nasty, icky things. G-R-O-S-S, gross! Max HP is 12, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. It attacks with tentacles and ink. Once you damage both its tentacles, it'll fall down... And then it's attack time! By the way, the tentacles each have 3 HP. Now relax and house on that slimy, nasty Blooper! * That's a Spania. A Spinia with spikes on its head. It looks meaner, too. Max HP is 3, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. So, sorta the same as a Spinia. You oughta watch out for the spikes on its head, but otherwise, just whale on it. I gotta be honest, though, the way that thing spins makes me wanna yack. * That's a Magikoopa. Y'know, a Koopa wizard. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. It'll throw a load of pain our way while using magic to help its buddies. What a creep. And when there's only one of them, it splits up into multiple copies to mess with us. Stop this thing fast or we'll be in a world of hurt! * That's a Magikoopa Copy. Yeah, attacking it won't do any good whatsoever. The real one's Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. Once you beat the real thing, the copies all vanish, OK? Look for the real one! * That's a Koopatrol. A Koopa Troopa who protects himself with spiked armor. Max HP is 6, Attack is 4, and Defense is 2. It attacks with its shell and with its head, then sometimes charges up for a fierce move. Plus, if you take too long to win, it'll call reinforcements. Yeah, sorta gnarly, huh? It's one of the worst of Bowser's guys. Koopa Troopas dream of being Koopatrols. ...Hey, and by the way, what do you think Bowser's doing now, anyway? Eating? PIT OF 100 TRIALS: * That's a Gloomba. It likes dark, damp places. Max HP is 7, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. It's stronger than a normal Goomba, so be careful. That's not a healthy color for a Goomba, but it doesn't mean it's sick or anything. So don't show any mercy! * That's a Paragloomba. It's a Gloomba with wings. Max HP is 7, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. It's like a stronger version of a Parakoopa. And maybe that's all there is to it. I wonder if living down here ever makes its wings moldy? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYUCK! It's too gross to even think about! Bleck! * That's a Spiky Gloomba. It's a Spiky Goomba that likes dark places. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. Its Attack is pretty high, huh? I'm sure you know this, but try not to jump on the spike. I wonder if I'd look like that if I stayed down here long enough? ...I'd rather not think about that. Are there tanning salons in Rogueport? * That's a Dark Koopa. It lives in dark places that the light never reaches. Max HP is 8, Attack is 4, and Defense is 2. It's a bit tougher than a regular Koopa, so you won't be able to beat it easily. But it DOES have the same weakness as a regular Koopa. Flip it over and it's helpless. Why do you think it needs sunglasses down here, anyway? What's the point? * This is a Dark Paratroopa. It lives in dark, damp places. Max HP is 8, Attack is 4, and Defense is 2. It's strong, but otherwise just like other Paratroopas. It's airborne, so try to ground it first. * That's a Spunia. Its body is made up of springy discs. Max HP is 12, Attack is 7, and Defense is 2. It may not look like much, but it's pretty tough. It won't come at you with anything too weird, so just hang in there, OK? * That's a Badge Bandit. He's a Bandit who'll go after your badges. That jerk! Max HP is 12, Attack is 5, and Defense is 0. He has high Attack power and HP. He sometimes steals a badge when he tackles you, so use your Guard carefully. And even if he gets one, keep your cool, OK? If he runs from the battle, you can always find him and reengage him. * That's a Dark Lakitu. It rides a rain cloud. Max HP is 13, Attack is 5, and Defense is 0. It attacks by throwing pipes at you. If it's holding up a pipe when you jump on it, you'll get hurt. And sometimes the pipes it throws turn into Sky-Blue Spinies. Whoa! If you only attack the Spinies, you'll never win, so go after the Dark Lakitu! * That's a Sky-Blue Spiny. It appeared from a pipe thrown by the Dark Lakitu. Max HP is 6, Attack is 6, and Defense is 4. It'll totally charge at you! Sometimes it balls up to defend and store energy for an attack. If you can, beat it and any buddies it may have with a special attack. * That's a Wizzerd. It's a part-machine, part-organic, centuries-old thing. Max HP is 10, Attack is 6, and Defense is 3. It uses magic to attack, heal, and alter your condition, so stay on guard. Its Defense is high, but we can totally take this thing! * That's a Dark Bristle. It's an ancient creature made of rock. Max HP is 8, Attack is 8, and Defense is 4. You can't jump on it because of its spikes, and you can't approach due to its spears. AND its Defense is high. You'd better take it out with special attacks or items. * That's an Arantula. It's a spiderlike creature that lives deep underground. Max HP is 16, Attack is 7, and Defense is 0. Yeah... It's pretty tough. It'll spit web-wads at you. Sometimes it even attacks several times in a row. That coloring freaks me out. ...I'm kinda scared of spiders. So let's do this quickly!! * That's a Piranha Plant. In fact, I think this is the strongest type of them all. Max HP is 15, Attack is 9 and Defense is 0. Its Attack power is absurdly high... It may look like a normal Piranha Plant, but don't be fooled! It's super-tough! If we get beaten by a flower, we'll never hear the end of it, know what I mean? * That's an Elite Wizzerd. This is the top of the heap for half-machine organisms. Max HP is 12, Attack is 8, and Defense is 5. You can probably guess this, but it uses various magic moves in battle. And, if it's alone, it'll create illusions of itself. It has no real weakness. So just use whatever you've got to beat it, OK? Let's go, Mario!! * That's an Elite Wizzerd illusion. There's no point in attacking it. The real Elite Wizzerd has a Max HP of 12, an Attack of 8, and a Defense of 5. If you attack the real one, the illusions will vanish. So find the real one! * That's a Swampire. It's a feared health-sucker that hides in the darkness. Max HP is 20, Attack is 6, and Defense is 0. It sucks health from its prey to add to its own HP. And that... totally grosses me out like you wouldn't believe. If you let it feast on you, its HP will get really high. Focus your attacks on it! * That's a Poison Puff. Basically just a puff of poisonous air. Max HP is 15, Attack is 8, and Defense is 0. Its poison-gas attack is 10! These things charge you, but they also save up toxins and poison you with them. Scum! Plus, you can't touch them when they're saving up toxins or you'll get hurt. Lame! * That's a Bob-ulk. That's... easily the biggest Bob-omb I've ever seen! Max HP is 10, Attack is 4, and Defense is 2. It won't attack, but once its fuse is lit, it'll explode after a while. So the problem is... how to beat it before it goes off. I mean, its bomb attack has a power of 16! That's no joke. Seriously, watch out for that. Just go all out to beat it. Pull out all the stops. Or you could just set it off early with fire or explosions. Your call. * That's Bonetail. He's the oldest brother of Hooktail. ...So old he's just bones, in fact. Wow. Now THAT'S old. His body's Max HP is 200, his Attack is 8, and his Defense is 2. He has various breaths that might confuse us or put us to sleep. When his HP gets low, he'll recover... or reanimate, as the case may be. He's probably stronger than the last boss, seriously! Let's do this right! PETAL MEADOWS: * That's a Koopa Troopa. They've been around forever! Gotta respect the longevity! Their shells are hard, but flip them over and their Defense drops to zero. And you know how to flip them over, right? Just jump on their heads! * That's a Bald Cleft. Basically, a rock monster with a swarthy-looking face. Uh... this is kind of mean, but bald guys... really just don't do it for me. Max HP is 2, Attack is 1, and Defense is 2. Yeah. This guy is rock solid. Fire doesn't even hurt it. It might be best to attack with, say... a POW Block. * That's a Bristle. ...Totally covered in spikes. They're so prickly! Max HP is 2, Attack is 1, and Defense is 4. AND they're impervious to fire. Even trying to get close enough to whack it with a hammer is dangerous! Seriously, its spikes will totally pop out! So, since you can't jump on it or use your hammer... you'd better use an item! * That's a Fuzzy. What a hyper little guy, huh? Cut back on the caffeine! Max HP is 3, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. Those things suck up your HP and use it to replenish their own! Isn't that the worst? I mean, EW! Doesn't that just sound totally gross? Anyway, guard against them by pressing A the MOMENT they release you. The timing is pretty hard to master, so, uh, practice up! These things really suck... HP. * That's a Gold Fuzzy. Whoa, those are super-rare! I'm serious! Wow! Max HP is 10, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. Oh, but hey! Even though it's a Fuzzy, it won't suck up your HP, which is nice. I have to wonder though... How does this thing hide? Look at it! It's so gaudy! * It's a Fuzzy Horde! Look at 'em all! What a mob scene! It's crazy! Max HP is 20, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. Fuzzies come at you all at once and attack in order. Says here not to freak out! It also says that if you use good timing to defend, you won't take much damage. I'm thinking it might just be faster to whip the ringleader, though, y'know? HOOKTAIL CASTLE: * That's a Koopa Paratroopa. Well, umm... It's basically a Koopa Troopa with wings. Max HP is 4, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. I kinda hate that this guy gets to fly. Of course, you can stomp on him and he'll plunge down and be a plain Koopa Troopa. Yeah, do that, and he's ours! Stomp again to flip him, and his arms and legs are useless! Oops! Sorry, that's not true. It looks like he can still wiggle them around a bit... * That's a Dull Bones. Sort of a skeleton thing. It was a Koopa Troopa... once. Max HP is 1, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. These creeps throw bones to attack. Oh, and they build reinforcements, too! Attacks that can strike multiple Dull Bones at once are the most effective. * That's a Red Bones! A little TOO red, I think. No fashion sense, y'know? Max HP is 5, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. Unlike your average Dull Bones, even if you pound it to 0 HP and it crumbles... It totally might revive! Like a zombie! My advice is to get rid of all the Dull Bones, then attack the Red Bones. Oh, and one more thing! Once its friends start to fall, it may create some more! * That's Hooktail! Max HP is 20, Attack is 5, and Defense is 1. It'll stomp and munch on you, and it has a more dragonish attack: stinky, fiery breath! It's tricky, especially when it's losing, and it'll try to fool you into being merciful. Oh, yeah, and one more thing. It hates things that start with "cr" and end with "icket". Supposedly, there's something related to that somewhere in this castle. Did we find it? BOGGLY WOODS: * That's a Pale Piranha. You know about these guys. The famous Piranha Plants. This colorless subspecies is adapted to Boggly Woods. Ah, the wonders of nature! Max HP is 4, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. If you try to jump on them, they'll totally chomp on you. * That's a Cleft. A rock-head jerk with spikes on his noggin. What a rocker! Max HP is 2, Attack is 2, and Defense is 2. That hard head is a major pain. Fire doesn't hurt it, but other types of items are pretty effective, usually. If nothing seems to work on it, you can always just run. * That's a Dark Puff. It's basically a tiny, mean thunderhead. Max HP is 3, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. Sometimes it'll charge itself with electricity. Don't touch it when it does! Yowch! You know what I mean, right? Brzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt! Shocking! After it charges itself, it'll totally zap you with lightning. Beat it as fast as you can. * That's Vivian. She's the youngest of the three Shadow Sirens. Max HP is 10, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. She doesn't seem all that noteworthy. Uh... She is kinda cute, I guess... She might even be cuter than I am... I guess... ...Uh... What am I thinking? * That's Marilyn. She's a Shadow Siren, Beldam's younger sister. Max HP is 12, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. She charges up her attacks occasionally. Says here she's the toughest of the sisters, so it might be best to defeat her first, huh? Other than that, she doesn't have any particularly outstanding characteristics. * That's Beldam. She's the oldest sister, the leader of the Shadow Sirens. Max HP is 9, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. But her blizzard attack has an Attack of 2. She can make her partners big and make us tiny, and attacks with weird magic. The worst thing about her is that sinister snicker. She sounds so totally evil! I mean, she's just the sort of person you want to avoid like the plague, y'know? THE GREAT TREE: * That's an X-Naut. Says here it's classified as an "enemy combatant." That description stinks... You think it means they're just low-level foot soldiers? Max HP is 4, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. They drink these potions that make them all big and burly... then they attack! One's easy, but if there's two or more, better watch out! Use special moves and items! * That's a Yux. Says here it's a creature created in the X-Naut labs. Max HP is 3, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. According to this, attacks and items won't affect it if it has Mini-Yux around it. So if any Mini-Yux appear, take those out first. Duh! * That's a Mini-Yux. A creature made to protect a Yux, it can split into two. Max HP is 1, Attack is 0, and Defense is 0. These twerps are the reason you sometimes can't do any damage to the main Yux. They're a pain, but you HAVE to beat them before the Yux. Flurrie's pretty effective... * That's a Pider. ICK! They gross me out. Max HP is 5, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. EWWWWWWWWW! Besides its normal attacks, it might spit three web-wads at you consecutively. You'd better have good timing if you wanna guard against its attacks. It also says here that the Punies can't stand Piders. So I'm not the only one! Just the sight of these things makes Punies flee in terror. I know how they feel! * That's Magnus Von Grapple. It's a giant robot built by the X-Nauts. Lord Crump drives it. Max HP is 30, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. Its most effective attack is one that takes advantage of its size: a smothering stomp. It can also shoot out its fists, which do these super-gnarly rocket punches. Its fists have Max HP of 2, an Attack of 4, and Defense of 0. Its fists are super-powerful, so it's best to knock them down fast. The thing about this robot is I can't tell if it looks cool, or really, REALLY stupid... GLITZVILLE: * That's a KP Koopa. It's a Koopa Troopa of a slightly different color. Max HP is 4, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. Looks like its abilities are just like any Koopa... So he oughta be a piece of cake! Don't go easy just because you know King K, Mario... That's what friends are for! * That's a KP Paratroopa. It's a Koopa Paratroopa of a different color. Max HP is 4, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. Its attacks are the same as your average, garden-variety Koopa Paratroopa. So, just do the same thing as always: stomp on it, flip it, and drop its Defense to 0. My Headbonk is pretty effective against it, too. Come on! Let's get him! * That's a Pokey. It's a cactus ghoul that's got nasty spines all over its body. Max HP is 4, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. Look at those spines... Those would TOTALLY hurt. If you stomp on it, you'll regret it. Pokeys attack by lobbing parts of their bodies and by charging at you... They can even call friends in for help, so be quick about taking them out. * That's a Spiny. Basically a spike-covered Koopa. Ugh! Looks painful! Max HP is 3, Attack is 3, and Defense is 3. These things have such high defense that you can't even hurt them when they roll up. So, when they go back to normal, do all the damage you can, and do it quickly! If you flip them over, their Defense drops to 0. THAT'S the time to take them out. Jumping on them is just plain stupid, so try using a POW Block or some other item. * That's a Lakitu. It's a member of the Koopa clan that rides on clouds. Max HP is 5, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. It attacks by throwing Spiny Eggs. If you stomp on it when it's holding up a Spiny Egg, you'll take damage, so DON'T do it! Spiny Eggs slowly hatch into Spinies, so beat the Lakitu before fighting the Spinies. Aw, this book doesn't answer my real question: where does it keep all those Spiny Eggs? * That's a Bandit. This scumbag tries to bump you and grab coins. Jerk! Max HP is 5, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. If you time your guard well when he attacks, he won't be able to steal anything. Plus, the look on a Bandit's face when you guard successfully is priceless. If a Bandit steals coins from you, defeat him before he flees to get your coins back. * That's a Big Bandit. Basically, a boss among ordinary Bandits. Max HP is 8, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. Unlike other Bandits, he'll steal your items as well as your coins. Totally weak! If you guard well when he charges at you, he'll blow by without stealing anything. If he robs you, you won't get your item back unless you beat him right then. He'll run! * That's a Hyper Bald Cleft. Like Clefts and Bald Clefts, this is also a rock monster. Max HP is 3, Attack is 2, and Defense is 2. This hyper version can build up its energy, boosting its Attack to 8 on the next turn. It has low HP, but its body is rock-hard and impervious to fire, making it super-tough. It says here that item attacks are pretty effective. Beat it before it goes hyper! * That's a Bob-omb. It attacks by blowing itself up. Yeah. Reeeeeeeal smart. Max HP is 4, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. A Bob-omb will get totally mad if you damage it. They have like, super-short fuses. When it gets mad, it'll charge and explode on its next turn. THAT attack... really hurts. Oh, and if it's mad, it'll blow up at the slightest contact. So don't attack directly! Attack it from a step away with a hammer or hit it with something hard, like a shell. * That's an Iron Cleft. That guy is SCARY. Period! Max HP is 6, Attack is 4, and Defense is... UNKNOWN?!? Wha