Spartan: Total Warrior

"What a reversal! This time the villain is the underdog, and the hero is the baddest man alive!"

Let's be honest. I loved the Total War games. I also love pointless beat-em-ups. When I found out the guys behind Total War were making a spin-off into my other loved genre, I couldn't wait. Now, Spartan has arrived, and it is everything I expected and more.

Story: 8/10
The story plays out like a Greek legend, I think. Essentially, you are the nameless Spartan, blessed with incredible strength and god-like fighting abilities. When Rome invades Greece, Sparta is soon all that is left standing. Ares, the god of war, offers you the chance to find out who you are in exchange for delivering his vengeance and destroying the Roman Empire. Of course, this is just the tip of the iceberg, as you soon find out.

Graphics: 7/10
Okay, we've got hundreds upon hundreds of characters on screen and not a hint of slowdown. However, when the camera zooms in on just a few characters for a cinematic, you realize that they look somewhat blocky. Character detail had to be sacrificed to allow the massive numbers, and it doesn't hur the game in the least.

Music: 9/10
Hard rocked mixed with techno, and a bit of orchestral as well. It's nothing you'll be humming to yourself later, but it fits the setting well.

Sound: 9/10
The sound of steel on steel comes through very well, with lots of screaming and battle cries as well. Although at any distance from the character speaking you can hardly hear him, it's not terribly important. Acting in the cinematics is so-so, although I love the Spartan's perfectly relaxed, "nothing matters" tone.

Gameplay: 10/10
Ah, the meat of any game, yes? Well, most of the time, you'll be fighting nearly impossible odds, and I'm talking hundred-to-one numbers. But, the Spartan's god-like abilities make your allies nearly redundant, although it's nice to know you do have help, but the outcome of conflicts depends entirely on you.

Did I mention god-like powers? Oh, yes, the Spartan will be hurling Romans thirty feet or more, lopping off dozens of heads in seconds, or, my personal favorite, impaling Romans on the head of a war-hammer, then slamming them into the ground with bone-shattering force.

But your enemies aren't limited to Romans, either. You'll fight barbarians, zombies, giants, the Hydra, and even a minotaur as you progress through the game. Along the way, you'll gain new weapons and powers to aid you in the conflict, until the last stage where you'll jump into a massive free-for-all and single-handedly slaughter the entire royal bodyguard.

And then there's Arena Mode, where you can test your mettle against increasingly difficult hordes of enemies and compete for a high score.

Replayability: 6/10
Honestly, this is the type of game you'll beat, put away, then get it out for another run in about a month.

Overall: 9/10
If you like action games, you should at least give this a rent. You can probably finish in the rental time, but the harder difficulties and Arena mode will keep you coming back for more.

Reviewer's Score: 9/10, Originally Posted: 04/17/06