Mario Kart: Double Dash!!

"Mario Kart: Double Dash: the best racing game ever. Except not really"

So, why am I reviewing an old game that not many people care about anymore? I guess I thought it would be fun to review a bad game. That's right, a bad game. Mario Kart: Double Dash is a bad game, and anyone that tells you otherwise is obviously either insane or not very bright.

Anyway, I guess I should tell you why it's a bad game, so I'll do exactly that. I don't need to bore you with too much history on the Mario Kart franchise. Suffice it to say that it was the first kart racer back on the SNES with all sorts of loveable mascots and crazy items and such. It was a big hit and many people still play the game in multiplayer mode up to this day, even with all of the sequels that have been released since then. Speaking of sequels, none of the Mario Kart sequels have drastically changed the formula from the original game. Mario Kart 64 was a great game and it brought the series into 3D, and it did have some innovations, but nothing huge.

So now we come to Mario Kart: Double Dash on the Gamecube. The big "innovation" for this game was supposed to be having two riders to one kart (hence the "Double Dash" in the title). This was supposed to add "an extra layer of strategy" as one driver drove the kart and the other controlled item usage. Of course, in single player mode, this feature was basically useless. In multiplayer mode, it was slightly better than useless, but not by much. I really shouldn't have to explain why, but since this review is supposed to be 1750 words long (thanks GameFAQs), I guess I will. To put it simply, controlling item usage is not enough to keep a player's attention throughout the entire race. It may be somewhat fun for the first couple of minutes, but that's it. Really, there's no reason to split up the driving and item usage to two players. Doing both of these things yourself shouldn't be too much for anyone who is over 2 years of age.

So, how is the gameplay apart from the whole "two players in one kart" aspect? Pretty standard Mario Kart fare, to be honest. The only other real change is the addition of character-specific "super moves". Basically, each character has their own super item that they can pick up and it will usually give them a big advantage by providing temporary invincibility, or throwing an item that is very difficult to dodge. These are somewhat entertaining, but they don't really change the game that much. For most characters, you can't even get the item unless you're in last or close-to-last place.

Let's shortly discuss the tracks in the game. There are 12 standard tracks, and 4 more unlockable tracks, giving a total of 16 tracks. This is an ok number, but the game could have really used another 4. I don't remember how many tracks all of the previous Mario Kart games had, but I know that the GBA version had 20. So this is actually a step down from that. The track design is pretty dull for the most part, with few tracks having any interesting features or obstacles; one track is even a literal oval with no obstacles at all (brilliant).

Now I want to discuss the 1 player mode. Yes, I know, Mario Kart is mainly a multiplayer game, but there still is a 1 player mode. To get to the point on what I think about it, I'll just say that it's pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. There's no excuse in this day and age to have such a bare-bones 1 player mode. This thing is literally EXACTLY THE SAME as the 1 player mode in the SNES game! All there is is the cup races in the 50 cc, 100 cc, and 150 cc classes. Each higher class brings higher top speeds and more difficult A.I. opponents. Once you finish all of the cups , you get the now standard "mirror mode" where you race all of the tracks again, but this time the tracks are flipped (just like a real mirror!). That's all there is to it. No mission mode, no story mode, no nothing. Well, actually, there's a time trial mode, but pretty much every racing game ever has had that, and it's not terribly fun or interesting except for extremely competitive perfectionists with OCD who always want to beat their own best times. When you look at pretty much any other racing game, you'll see that they have better 1 player modes than Mario Kart. Just compare this game to F-Zero GX: the differences in the one player experience aren't even funny.

I don't really have much to say about the multiplayer mode since I haven't played it much. It's probably decently entertaining, at least for a while. The battle tracks in this game are worse than the ones in Mario Kart 64, which I know disappointed quite a few people. And while I don't have any great praises for the multiplayer mode, I will say that it's the only mode that this game should be played on (that is, if you play the game at all).

Now, onto the presentation side of the game. First, the graphics. I'll get the good out of the way first: the game runs at a solid 60 fps and the graphics are pretty consistent and fit each level decently well. Now the bad: I can't stand the graphics. I understand that a Mario Kart game will generally have bright, happy, and bouncy visuals, but this is ridiculous. Everything is so overflowing with bright sugary happy flowery bounciness that it'll probably make you want to gag. I really can't say that I'm a fan of the whole "art direction" of the game. The creators really should have toned the peppiness down a couple million notches.

The sound. Oh, the glorious sound. It is like listening to a symphony composed by Mozart except infinitely better. The music in this game complements the visuals well. That is to say, it is extremely happy and bouncy and all of that wonderful stuff. If you can listen to this music for more than 30 minutes without wanting to pull your hair out, congratulations, because I certainly can't say that for myself. I seriously have to wonder if the people who created this game (and specifically those who created the music) sat down and played it for more than 30 minutes at a time, because if they did... well, I can't see how not even one of them would have been greatly annoyed by the music. The composers who created this music should be banned from ever having the opportunity to compose a soundtrack for a videogame ever again. This is seriously the most annoying music that I've ever encountered in a videogame. I've played a lot of games, but I can honestly say that I never had the urge to mute the volume like I did with this game. Now, I'm not insulting the music to the entire Mario Kart series, just this game. The previous Mario Kart games actually had fairly good music. This one does not.

Then you come face to face with the brilliant sound effects. Each character has one or two lines that they will repeat whenever they pass you, you pass them, they hit you with an item, or you hit them with an item. The quality of the acting is so superb that you'll swear that you were actually listening to Shakespearean actors performing the play King Lear. You'll be angered when Lear treats his daughters harshly, and amused by the antics of the Fool; you'll cringe as you experience Lear's descent into madness, and weep at his death. Except that it's absolutely nothing like that. The voices are all very annoying. The fact that each character only has one or two lines makes it all that much worse. Each voice is annoying in its own way, but the highlight of them all is definitely Daisy's greeting, which has become a huge fan favourite: "Hi, I'm Daisy!" The other sound effects in the game are decent and not worth mentioning.

So, after reading my review you must think that I think that MK:DD is the worst game ever, but I don't. It is, at its core, a decent racing game. The gameplay isn't inherently flawed, and there are no bugs or other defects to be found. The play control is basically fine, if a little looser than some would like. The multiplayer mode can provide some decent entertainment with friends, if only for a little while.

Having said that, there are far too many glaring flaws to overlook. The one player mode is pathetically weak; you'll be done it in less than a day and have nothing left to play or unlock. The presentation is enough to drive you absolutely nuts: the overly sugary and bouncy graphics and music combine to form some kind of hellish Marry Poppins meets the Care Bears meets Barney meets the Teletubbies fantasy land. The "two players to a kart" innovation is lame and not worth playing the game for, and the addition of character-specific super items adds little to the game.

In the end, Mario Kart: Double Dash is good for perhaps a rental and nothing else. Absolutely do not buy this game for the single player mode. Do not even buy it for the multiplayer: there are far better multiplayer games out there (SSBM, SC II, Mario Power Tennis, X-Men Legends etc.). If you're looking for a racing game, there are far better ones out there like F-Zero GX, the EA racers like Need for Speed, and so on. And if you're specifically looking for a Mario Kart game, now that the infinitely superior Mario Kart DS is out, you have absolutely no reason to even consider getting this game.

I almost never sell any of my games, even ones that I didn't particularly like or that I don't have any plans to ever play again. I have several games that I consider very sub-par and that I would never have bought if I had known how bad they were. But this was one of only two Gamecube games (the other being Mario Party 4) that I got rid of. I think that says something right there.

Let's just hope Nintendo never makes a Mario Kart game like this one ever again.

Reviewer's Score: 4/10, Originally Posted: 06/16/06