Pokemon Channel

"The stupidest game idea ever"

There have been a lot of failed experiments involving video games. A game that simulated a tarot card reading. Another to make learning about diabetes fun. But never have I seen a game that had a dumber purpose than simulating watching TV. After a half-hour of playing this game I would've used it for a clay pigeon if it had belonged to me and not to Hollywood Video. And I still sort of like Pokemon. I suppose a lot of people will think I'm just a cranky old guy who likes bashing innocent video games, but really, look at my reviews, count the number of 7's, 8's, 9's and 10's I give out and tell me I can't be impressed.

I mean, come on. I don't need the help of my gamecube to watch lousy TV shows. The idea is that you're some kind of censor for a new TV channel all about Pokemon, and you and your Pikachu sit down to watch the line up and rate the shows. But for some reason you don't ever rate the shows. And you have to either watch all day and all night to see new stuff, or mess with your gamecube's clock to skip the schedule ahead.

This game is about as interactive as Taboo: The Sixth Sense, because nearly all your time spent ''playing'' it consists of just sitting around and watching your TV screen without having any kind of control over what happens. Doesn't that defeat the entire purpose of a video game? If you wanted to watch Pokemon without interacting, wouldn't you just watch the show?

So yeah, this is a game where you just sit and watch. Sound like fun? Not so likely. You can buy stuff for Pikachu off the pokemon home shopping network, but that serves no purpose, because the purpose of this game is just watching TV. And you can take Pikachu outside to play, but he's like any five year old kid on Saturday morning: all he really wants to do is stay in and watch the boob tube.

It'd be cool if this game actually put you in the position of a network censor like it says, and if you could change the line up and stuff like that by reporting on what you saw. But even what sequences are interactive are either tedious or not worth bothering with at all in the first place, like the Smeargle paint game (which you could play by buying a coloring book for twenty times less or using your computer's packed-in art program). And while it's kind of cute to have Pokemon talk just by saying their names on the actual TV show, it is not cute hearing ''smoochum smoochum smoochum smoochum'' x50 at time when you're watching this game.

The idea behind a Pokemon photo safari in Pokemon Snap was cute. The idea of being able to have Pokemon battles in 3D in Pokemon Stadium wasn't bad either. But the experience of watching Pokemon TV for hours on end is something that should never have left the game development lab.

I couldn't be happier with game designers wanting to try something different every once in a while. If I never see another Doom clone or dime a dozen platform game it'll be too soon. But honestly, nobody should ever make a video game with little to no interactivity like in Pokemon Channel. There's plenty of boring TV without the help of this game, and at least I don't have to listen to some little monster saying ''smeargle'' 1,247 times in a row when watching that.

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 03/02/04, Updated 05/09/04