BMX XXX

"I don't know what to say."

BMX XXX is a lousy game. That's all there is to it. I don't know why I'm even wasting my time writing a review for this wasted potential, but here goes.

Graphics: 3/10
The graphics are slow and blocky. You can make out individual little pixels looking at different characters. The movements are robotic and crappy. They tried to make it so you can have your character be naked during gameplay, and it just looks like crap.

Sound: 7/10
The sound isn't bad. There are some okay songs. The sound of the bicycle wheel hitting the ground is alright. Okay sound, but it doesn't make up for the horrible gameplay.

Gameplay: 2/10
The gameplay is slow and repetitive and seems as if ripping off Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4. You ride around on your bike and look for missions to complete, except the Neversoft way was fun and not impossible. The fact that you can ride around naked was kind of ineresting at first, but was just stupid seeing as how bad the graphics are. You can get secrets and unlock real-life movies of women stripping. The videos are only about 30 seconds long, and are very lame. If I wanted to see chicks naked, I could have just watched porn. I don't want to watch porn in a video game, i want to play it. And If i did want to watch porn in a video game, I would want to see a little more effort put into it. It's just a feeble attempt at trying to be like Grand Theft Auto. We already have crappy porno games like Leisure Suit Larry, and The Guy Game to make up for GTA wannabes. We didn't need this one too. Also themissions are so impossibly hard that the first level of this game was harder than that of any last level of any game. You can do things like pick up hookers off the street (smells like GTA) and you have to take them to hotels for "clients". But the thing is there is no arrow or no map to tell you where you are going. So you, riding around with a time limit of two minutes, have to take five hookers to five destinations when you don't know where any of the hookers are and you don't know where any of their destinations are. If you are going to rip off a game, rip it off all the way. Don't just rip it off a little bit and call it your own. It's just a pathetic attempt at trying to be a original.

Replay Value: 6/10
It can SOMETIMES get addicting to just ride around on your bike for hours.

Overall: 3/10
A very disappointing game.

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 01/24/05