Revolution X

"Was this created when the band still did drugs?"

It couldn't have been. Aerosmith was actually good when they were on drugs. The arcade version, while still a pile of storytelling nonsense, was at least remotely fun to play. This was a port so it lost some of the cool stuff from the arcade version. I still like it. Yes, I'll admit I like this game. Why? I don't exactly know, either. I have to admit that playing it with the D-pad is definitely more difficult than the sweet gun controller of the arcade model. I guess I like it because it's so odd. The plot doesn't make sense. So global terrorist group is trying to take over the world... so they stop an Aerosmith concert? If you were trying to take over the world, wouldn't you kidnap someone of more importance? "We have your classic rock band! Bow before our roller-skating ninjas!"

So I've heard that Public Enemy was offered the game one time. I also heard that they later offered it to Guns-N-Roses. First, if it had been a Public Enemy game, you know that we would have been exposed to Flavor Flav earlier than we have been. Do you really want that? It's getting so you can't watch VH1 without seeing him somewhere. Second, GNR wouldn't have been able to do this game. Why? Axl wouldn't even show up for concerts. NO ONE WOULD HAVE NOTICED! But seeing a drunken Slash in that crappy video style would've been funny.

Sound: Hey, kids, wanna hear some of Aerosmith's worst songs in midi format? Didn't think so. There ya go as far as a sound description goes.

Graphics: The sprites didn't look that bad, honestly, but the video... Christ's finest dinner jacket, is the video ever horrible. Steven Tyler looks like a pink glob... okay... not much different from the actual Steven Tyler... um... a low resolution pink glob. Better? Okay.

Gameplay: While not easy with the D-pad, still fun. I don't know if this would have supported Sega's version of the lightgun, but if it did, it would've made all the difference in the world.

Summary: If you want to buy it on a goof like I did, go ahead. If you're an Aerosmith fan, get it anyway. If you like rail-shooters, get it. Every gamer should play this game. Why? Because this is the litmus test for how bad a video game plot is. "Well... at least Halo 2's cliffhanger ending makes more sense than a terrorist group turning bikini models into monsters." OR! "Man... Revolution X makes more sense than {insert game because I will not name one. I don't want to start a fight}."

7 out of 10 Poptarts just 'cuz.

Reviewer's Score: 7/10, Originally Posted: 08/28/07