Golden Axe

"You call THOSE enemies?"

Golden Axe is game that should have just stayed in the arcades. It's just a generic beat-em-up, the only difference is that it's set in a medieval time, and the game is more boring than any other fighting game I have ever played. If you enjoy repetitious levels strung together in a boring terrain, this game is for you.

The story is that this guy named Death Adder captured some King and his daughter, and he apparently stole the Golden Axe too. He will kill them unless the land of Yuria bows down to him.

You can play as three people who just barely differ—one who carries an axe, and the other two who carry a sword. No matter which you choose, they attack the same way and none have any advantages/disadvantages over each other. There aren't any combos to speak of either (all you can do in this game is slash, and jump and slash—I think you can pick things up too and roll but it seems a bit random when you can do this), furthering the similarity. Their magic powers, though, which can be used to nearly destroy the characters on the screen you're currently on, have different animations, but do the same things.

The gist of the main game is to go through side scrolling levels and beat up enemies with your weapon. There isn't anything else you do besides kill enemies, so they must be the meat and most fun part of the game, right? Sadly, there is nothing good I can say about them. All of them are generic middle age monsters such as trolls, minotaurs, people in armor, people riding animals, and the like. Most of the enemies are repeated through the game, given different color clothing but have nothing else changed about them. Just about all the enemies have melee weapons, such as maces axes, and clubs, and they all hit in the same pattern, so I don't see the point of having any enemies at all. Since they take a lot of hits to die, and you need to kill all enemies to progress, the game becomes boring doing the same slashing routine over and over.

Without any actual fighting tactics and skills needed, or platforming skills, you'll definitely feel the urge to turn off the game. There aren't any power-ups either except the aforementioned “magic”.

As for the duel mode, it just pits you against some enemies and asks you to fight them and kill them within the time limit. The more you kill, the farther you progress. What fun.

Lesson learned: when game is all about fighting and the fighting isn't even the bare bones, what's left? Well, the box art is kind of cool.

Reviewer's Score: 4/10, Originally Posted: 03/31/08

Game Release: Golden Axe (US, 12/22/89)