"All your money are belong to a sad game !!"

It all started as a Japanese arcade game. A 2D sidescrolling shooter made its way into the arcades, and was a hit. Then, them Japs wanted to release it here in the land of the free - America. When they couldn't find a publisher to translate, they hired a guy who was taking English classes to translate Zero Wing. The result was so poorly translated, it was funny! That's how the whole ''All Your Base Are Belong To Us'' thing began.

The game is based on the age old ''We want to take you over!''-''We won't let you!'' premise. It is really original (besides the intro), and has some interesting concepts. Unfortuantely, one-hit kills and invincible midget-bots along with the little-or-no storyline make this game a stink-ah. Allow me to explain.

-- Graphics 8 / 10 --
The game sports some very good graphics. The entire intro is done with a very anime-inspired style. And even realtime graphics are pretty on Genesis. There is crap flyin all over the place half the time.

-- Sound 6 / 10 --
Ehh, it's allright. The annoying typing noise the game makes when you are reading onscreen dialouge. The music is probably this game's saving grace, because it's bloody wonderful.

-- Control 9 / 10 --
The control is superb, tight, and nothing is bad about it. I don't feel the need to go into detail on it, but it's just as good on a Genesis controller as on a keyboard (if you emulate this rare game).

-- Gameplay 1 / 10 --
After the first 5 minutes, you'll like it. However, it doesn't change. Shoot up some bad guys, and fight an easy boss. No biggie. But, if your ship - not the midget-ships - gets hit with a bad guy, or a wall, or a bullet, you die and have to start from the beginning of the planet. On the contrary, you get midget-ships on the first powerup and they NEVER EVER DIE unless you do. You can go shove them up pipe with a nuke coming out of it and it won't croak. So, you simply use them as a shield. After 45 minutes, I got really bored playing repetitive gameplay. And it got stale long before that.

-- Story 2 / 10 --
You have to fly around and stop Cats' plan to make all your base are belong to him. It sounds cool, and on paper, it is, but in game, its not. :-( Too bad.

This game had no chance to survive make your time (that's a quote from the game) from the get-go. I did go and buy it, and boot it up for 5 minutes just for a good laugh now and then. If you can find it for $5 at a used video game store, then get it. If not, it's not worth your time. Quote that.

~~~~~ Syco 9:18 PM 4/28/01 ~~~~~

Reviewer's Score: 4/10, Originally Posted: 04/28/01, Updated 04/28/01