Zero Wing

"What happen?"

This game was almost unheard of until the recent music video and song, that were created due to the bad translation. Now you will find many people making parodies (usually bad ones), or just plain saying ''All your base are belong to us! Many people have seen the intro scene, but what's the game like?

~STORY~ 5/10
Strange! Never seen a ''story'' like this before! A cyborg called Cats pops in telling Captain and his crew ''All your base are belong to us.'' Very mysterious. Cats disappears, and you never see him again. The most mysterious part about the story is that you don't know who Cats is, why your base are belong to us, or why the couldn't hire a decent translator/editor.

~GRAPHICS~ 7/10
Nothing bad here, pretty standard though. The intro scene looks pretty cool, though. Unlike the music video, Cats moves his lips in the game. Some ships are the same as from other levels, just with different colors. Some look like monsters, and some look boring.

~SOUND~ 8/10
I actually like the background music, especially in the first level. The way the music speeds up when Cats appears trys to make it dramatic, but instead it makes you laugh harder, like a cheesy horror movie. The sound effects are standard. There really isn't much to say about the sound. (The first level's BG music is similar to the music in the music video.)

~GAMEPLAY~ 4/10
They could have done so much, but they didn't. You basically pick up bland powerups (not much variety) and shoot. There also is a tractor beam, which can make some enemies be shot out from your ZIG fighter. You basically play similar, dull levels until you get the final one, with a dull ''ending''. It can be hard, due to the fact one shot kills you.

~BUY OR RENT~
Heh, tough luck finding one to buy OR rent. Why would you even WANT to buy this game, though? This game is ultra-rare. If you want to play to see what the ending is like, don't waste your time. It just says ''Congratulations!'', making my journey through the game a complete waste of time. The other ending was in the arcade version, but it wasn't much of an ending either.

~SUMMARY~
You shoot things. Pick up bland powerup. Shoot again. Get shoot. Restart level (or from a certain point in the level).
Crash. Restart again. Beat game. Get mad at bad, no, AWFUL ending.
Don't waste your time. Unless you want bragging rights at beating the game and not falling asleep, don't play it.

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 06/13/01, Updated 06/13/01