Zero Wing

"Bad translations can be funny sometimes."

How are you gentlemen !!

Let me start by saying that this is my first review for GameFAQs, and I wanted to start off by reviewing ''that game with that intro,'' Zero Wing. Lately, it's achieved mass popularity because of that ''all your base'' thing that was funny for 15 minutes or so, but many people only know it for that particular catchphrase. An actual copy of the game is hard to find nowadays, but that's nothing an emulator can't handle, heh heh heh...

Somebody set up us the review.

I'm not even going to TRY to make sense of the intro cutscene. Many people have attempted to do that, and I think that it was originally intended to be a serious storyline, but the translation work is so laughably bad that I just can't take it seriously. However, here's a brief summary of it: ship is under attack, evil cyborg guy named Cats appears and gloats, captain gives the order to ''take off every 'ZIG''', ship blows up, and the rest is history.

Underneath the introductory scene lies a game quite similar to R-Type, Gradius, and other side-scrolling shooter games. Of course, this would be a pretty boring title if it didn't have extra weapons for your ZIG fighter, and Zero Wing has some. They're even upgradable, meaning that if you collect multiple icons of the same color in a row, your weapons will increase in power. Collecting a red power-up icon will give you two extra guns to work with, and if you're just looking to upgrade the standard gun, the icon lets you fire spread shots. One is above your ship, the other below. A blue icon lets your ship fire powerful blue beams which don't fire as rapidly as your standard gun. A green icon gives you homing shots, making the other gun types look puny in comparison. A ship icon will make your ZIG move faster (though collecting too many will severely hinder your control). Finally, a bomb icon places a floating bomb (DUH) in front of your ship, and you can use it to wipe out some enemies in a large area. Not quite as nice as taking out all the enemies on the screen, but hey, you take what you can get. The game also has a neat little feature: the tractor beam. Basically, it lets you suck in your enemies and shoot them back at other enemies, Kirby-style. You probably won't use it much, but it's there.

Zero Wing, however, falls victim to the same archetypes that plagues other games of this genre. The enemies are your average aliens and/or robots. Stages have overused themes such as alien innards or space station-type things. Even bosses lack a certain kind of flair.

Besides offering multiple difficulty levels, the game is also kind of forgiving, especially when/if you get a Game Over. You know how in games like R-Type, if you've progressed quite a bit and die, you don't just start back at the beginning, but restart at a ''checkpoint'' in the level? Well, if you continue after getting a Game Over in Zero Wing, you'll start back at the last checkpoint you passed instead of starting back at the beginning of the stage! (Even on the higher difficulty levels!) Also, the Easy mode has infinite continues, while the Normal and Hard modes both have a limited number of them.

Review 'GAME'. For great justice.

Graphics: Considering that this game was made in 1991 (the heyday of the Genesis, as well as the year that Sonic the Hedgehog first appeared), the graphics are your standard 16-bit fare, although some of the backgrounds tend to be rather repetitive. The cutscenes are kind of neat, though. 7/10

Sound: Argh. Although you might remember the intro's music from the ''Invasion of the Gabber Robots'' song (assuming you heard the song before playing the game, of course), I couldn't think of any tunes that were very memorable. There isn't even music to tell you when you've reached the boss of the stage, leaving you to wonder if you're facing a mini-boss or a real BOSS boss. Sound effects aren't very special, either. 5/10

Control/Design: It's your average space shooter, but it works well for what it is. The ZIG handles and fires smoothly, but if you collect two or more ship icons, it becomes a bit hard to maneuver. Upgradeable weapons are good, and the extra guns are, too. Speaking of which, the extra guns are invincible and can take damage for you, but a single hit to your main ship will kill you. Because of this, you may want to consider keeping a close eye on your ship, especially when you're in a tough battle. If anything, it's a tad repetitive. 7/10

Satisfaction/Fun: Perhaps the sole reason why you might want to play Zero Wing is if you want to look past the All Your Base Are Belong To Us thing and see what ''that game'' is like. The game has three different endings, and you'll have to be pretty good at the game to see all of them. ZW is hurt by the lack of a two-player mode, though, leaving players with an experience that is only mildly entertaining. 6/10

Improve: Two-player mode, boss music, more varied graphics, more gun types, and above all, a better translation.

Similar Games: R-Type series, Gradius series, Defender, etc.

Closing Words: If you honestly want to experience Zero Wing, play it on an emulator such as Genecyst, because it's hard to find nowadays. It probably won't be remembered as a side-scrolling shooter, but like the All Your Base fad, it's fun for a little while.

Score (not an average): 6/10

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 07/10/02, Updated 07/10/02