Home Alone 2

"I wish this game got lost on its way to the Genesis."

Fans of the Home Alone series will recall that in the first sequel, Kevin and his family are going on a trip for Christmas just like the previous year. The family gets packed, piles in the van (where trouble struck our young friend Kevin the first time), and drive over to the airport. Kevin’s parents, who showed such concern and compassion for their lost loved one last year, frantically sprint off through the airport like deranged lunatics (which would surely get them taken into custody today). With their family in tow, they dash to catch their airplane while making the brilliant decision to stay ahead of dear, dear Kevin. Being the impatient young man that he is, Kevin decides to change the batteries in his tape recorder losing sight of his parents, but fortunately, as he hurries to catch up, he spots his dad, or is it?! This is actually another man who happened to wear the exact same outfit, while behaving in the exact same manner, in the same 50-yard stretch of the airport. The odds! One thing leads to another and Kevin winds up in New York City, which is where our delightful experience with Home Alone 2: Lost in New York opens.

Kevin, quickly coming to his senses after the initial surprise of being alone in the Big Apple, arches his eyebrows in a mischievous way and realizes that this is the opportunity of a lifetime. Following the movie he’s based from fairly well, Kevin sets off, not only to conquer the great city of New York and deal with the recently escaped “Wet Bandits” but also to plague Segas all over.

The object of Home Alone 2 is pretty much restricted to running from one end of a level to the other with no clear mission. Along the way, various enemies will be encountered that must be dealt with in an efficient manner, which isn’t too hard with the responsive control scheme. Luckily for Mr. McAllister, he carries a default weapon at the beginning of every stage ranging from bricks to snowballs. Keep in mind, these are not the pansy snowballs made with simple powdery snow, but they are filled with gravel, slush, and packed into a pulverizing pellet of doom. Well, that’s my belief considering they prove lethal to most enemies after about two hits.

However, the main default weapons, while amusing, can be replaced by many more powerful weapons with a much farther range. In every level that you’ll encounter, pieces of these potent weapons have been scattered about every level, apparently by some careless child who thinks that if he just leaves his cherry bomb lying around, nobody will bother it. However, the cherry bomb is only a part of the devastating cherry bomb gun that can be constructed with a few more pieces scattered about, namely the barrel of the gun and the handle. All right, this kid is basically MacGuyver. Other weapons of mass destruction include a whipped cream pie shooter and, some other cream shooter thing. Due to the crudity of the graphics, it’s only recognizable by a yellow blob. Perhaps custard? Your foes won’t stand a chance against these babies if they weren’t just that, babies.

Every enemy is easily dispatched with the standard weapon making the more powerful pieces useless. What’s even more comical than the completely uneven weapon power is the enemies themselves. It seems that every human Kevin comes into contact with through his adventure has it in for him. Shopkeepers swat at him with broomsticks like he’s some common thief. People waltzing through the airport plow into him with reckless disregard to his health. An endless barrage of pigeons tuck wing and charge at every opportunity and there’s absolutely no hope of stopping them even with the beefed up bow gun. What really takes the cake, though, is the gang of ninjas who bear a striking resemblance to the Foot from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. These bad boys randomly fall from the sky and, avoiding any use of karate that any true ninja would know, walk into you with the power of, um, a masked doofus?

However, all is not lost in New York (ha ha) as Harry and Marv return to terrorize Kevin in every level of the game (with one exception). Actually, these two prove to be the most non-lethal enemies in the game until the final run through the park. With their arms outstretched, these two buffoons parade around every level attempting to grab hold of you and shake you to death. While getting grabbed by a member of the duo will destroy any weapon you have constructed, this is a near impossibility. These dummies are easily held at bay with the default weapon and can be restricted to moving about a foot until you knock them out cold. The more powerful weapons just make it quicker. Not to mention, they actually insist on trapping themselves far from you but within your reach. Stand safely below an awning and send up a volley of baseballs while Harry simply stands at the edge hoping that you ascend to him. Throw your footballs threw the ceiling to trip up Marv in Duncan’s Toy Chest. These clowns make their movie selves seem like Einstein and Edison.

But don’t think these two will take this torment sitting down. Oh no! They actually learn other attacks in later stages. Marv learns how to jump! Harry learns how to throw some kind of knapsack - boomerang style! The best part is that when these guys learn these attacks, they are easily avoided, albeit accidentally. While running through a dark night in New York, I actually managed to miss running into these jokers altogether for a number of times. I didn’t even think they were there until I took a much slower and useless route. Although, just like in the movie, Kevin can turn up the heat, too, when he leads the pair to his uncle’s trap filled house. This would prove to be an effective maneuver if the traps weren’t worthless.

What I thought would be the most fun part of the game turned out to be the most disappointing. Harry and Marv attack almost immediately and various traps, such as electrocuting them in a puddle of water, while sounding fun are simply stupid. The traps on the first floor do little damage and it’s just not worth it to ascend to higher levels to try those traps with them both dogging you. Once again, these traps have taken the route of the “some assembly required” weapons and are replaced by the generic brick. Plus, the only trap worth mentioning is the electrocution. Others range from knocking some kind of heavy cylinder off of a shelf (not paint) and jumping on a board to send a small crate seesaw style to the other side. What a waste.

Horrendous graphics drive this Christmas themed title even further into the tundra. Kevin himself is a crudely drawn being with no distinguishable features about him. The same goes for every other character in the game. Harry and Marv will avoid making Kevin cry and will instead focus on your vision with their horribly rendered selves. Level design is somewhat better with Duncan’s Toy Chest being the highlight, but what should be a bright, vibrant level is reduced to mundane and dull colors and the awful dot shading that plagues every land you encounter. The worst animated piece of all, the Jack-in-the-Box, appears here and shoots in and out of his box in a hideous, jerky way. Pieces of weapons actually blend into the dull brown and black backgrounds at some points, most notably the spring, as do certain enemies. The rat is a phantom in the uncle’s house and is practically a chameleon with the floors of the house making for unavoidable attack after attack. What fun!

While the sights are an embarrassment, the sounds fair no better. Kevin’s cry of pain is disgusting as well as the death sound of the enemies, a ridiculous “beeooop” sound. The default weapon, while being unrecognizable, is accompanied by a sound that bears no resemblance to someone throwing a baseball or football. The music is even more pathetic with each tune being on, what seems like, a five second time loop and adds absolutely nothing to the atmosphere except annoyance. Your best bet is to listen to the title screen’s music, which is as good as it gets.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York does absolutely nothing to the Home Alone franchise except make people hate it. Disgusting graphics, horrible sounds, and pitiful game play are countered only by the responsive controls and the fun that comes from assembling and using (though mostly useless) powerful gadgets. This fairly short and quite easy adventure, which should take about thirty minutes to complete, should only be played if YOU are home alone. We certainly wouldn’t want your friends to see you playing this game now, would we?

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 07/09/03, Updated 07/09/03