Shaq-Fu

"Shaq, buddy, basketball is your sport."

Let me start off like this, this is by far the worst fighting game of all time. I mean, there isn't an adjective in the English language that can describe the sickening feeling one gets when playing this game. For the sake of the review, I managed to play the game through with a Dr. Pepper in one hand and a bottle of Pepto in the other.

Graphics: 2/10

The graphics in this game are awful. All characters, in action, in introduction, and in pre-fight commentary look like crap. The only nice point about the graphics is the overworld in which scenery is nice. but the scenery is nice only in the overworld. This game also brings a foul stench of slowdown, clippiness, and bad development taste. The graphics are so bad, they are funny in some points. For instance, in the overworld, Shaq's running around reminds me of what Timmy from South Park would look right if he could walk. (I'm serious. When I saw Shaq run, I yelled out, ''Timm-ah-ee!'') But if want hilarity, win a match with Shaq and look at his face next the his lifebar. Hee hee hee. He looks constipated.

Sound: 1/10

Horrible sound. A truly pathetic attempt. The music is downright annoying. Every single note of MIDI makes you want to vomit. The music has many different adjectives; campy, annoying, country, stereotypical, but they all boil together for one slang-induced (and my personal favorite!) adjective of the English language. Sucky. The sound effects could come straight out of a TV Ad. ''Hey Kids! Make your own Shaq Fu sound effects! It's simple, buy the Shaq Fu Sound Effects Kit at your local retailer, put it together and let the fun begin! You take a dead cat, a cheese grater, and a chalkboard with Freddy Kreuger glove, and smash them all together for instant Shaq Fu sound effects fun! You get the whole kit for the low, low price of your taste in video games!'' Looks like Shaq Fu paved the way for Pokemon to damage our children's lives.

Gameplay: 1/10

Okay, CJayC, you really need to add a ''0'' to Possible Rankings. Heroes of Lance and this are your main reasons to do this. Let me start off with this. This game has 3 modes. 3 modes! Very sorry for even a Genesis fighting game. I'll review them each separately.

Story:

''Story? What's a story?''--Electronic Arts Shaq Fu developers. I swear, EA, what happened to a little thing called depth? A story is only a story if it makes sense. Here's the deal: Shaq is doing a charity game (Oh, I see. *cough* suck-up *cough*) and runs into an old Chinese guy who transports him away and he fights people. There's your story. Then you have the fighting engine. Get them into a corner and kick them. There's your fighting engine.

Duel:

A one-player version of one fight. Wow.

Versus:

A two-player version of one fight. Big wow.

Overall Fun Factor: 1/10

When it comes to EA and the Genesis, you have this or Skitchin'. If you're trapped on a desert island with the EA developers and a gun with one bullet, shoot yourself. Isn't there a law against games that cause suicide by boredom? Seeya! --Rick >:P

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 05/02/00, Updated 05/02/00