Boxing

"Mr. Green Fights Mr. Pink in title bout!"

Ugh, what an awful game! Boxing not only features a bunch of stupid blocky fighters but some of the worst play control ever to grace a console system! Luckliy the Intellivision controller is so awkward to use you'll probably never notice. In this sporting event, you choose a boxer who is the EXACT SAME as every other boxer except for his color. Notice I didn't say COLORS! YES THESE GUYS FIGHT STARK NAKED!! No trunks or anything! Then you fight by pounding all the buttons on your unwieldy controller, swearing a little then leaving your Intellivision to watch ''Fox's Scariest Police Chases.'' Or if this was 1983 you would watch ''That's Incredible''.
I understand older games aren't going to be amazing but this one really stinks up the outhouse. Worst of all it is not fun or quirky so if you come across Boxing at te local pawn shop leave it there!!

Graphics=2.0 The attempt to create large animated characters is noble. The actual end result looks like something I could create on the etch-a-sketch animator (remember that?). Your men looking like spazzing vertical cheese sculptures that have been left out in the sun too long. And that's all there really is to it.

Playcontrol=0.3 It's bad enough the controller is hard to use. Unfortunately, the playcontrol compliments the shoddy controller perfectly. Buttons do SOMETHING, though the actual responsiveness makes watching this mess heartbreaking. Slow, awkward and poorly animated.

Sound=0.2 Fogetaboutit!! There is no sound except the occasional BLEEP or BLIP. Sub-par, even for the time.

Challenge=2.0 Even though I have no idea what I am doing, I can usually turn the opponent from a vertical formless mass to a horizontal formless mess. At least I THINK that's my opponent, sometimes I can't even tell who I am. This may not be a bad thing!

Overall=1.5 A putrid mess of a game. Not as bad as Heroes of the Lance, but still pretty awful. The low point comes when you play as the pink boxer--a PINK BOXER!!! WITH NO CLOTHES ON!!

*BRU'S MUST GET OMETER*=0 Once, this cartridge was a grain of sand on a beautiful beach. Then one day it was heated up, manipulated, fused with a petrolium based solid and turned into Intellivision boxing. If you ever get a time machine and go back to the year 450 A.D., even filthy peasants will not be impressed. A waste of technology!

Reviewer's Score: 2/10, Originally Posted: 03/27/00, Updated 03/27/00