Las Vegas Poker & Blackjack

"Wow. I'm losing virtual money."

This game is a bore. I really do wonder why casino games ever actually sell. The game is accurate enough to prove to the player that the house always wins in the end. Exciting? Maybe if you're a recovering gambling addict, you'd appreciate this realization. To everyone else, it's just kinda dumb.

Graphics: 6
The graphics are not terrible. You'll notice that the dealer has 3 different expressions: apologetic, furious, and eerily aloof. These expressions logically correspond to events in the game. As he deals, his eyes shift back and forth in a suspicious manner, just like in vegas. His dealing remains the only animation in the game, where his hand swaps an image back and forth in an awkward-looking "toss" of the cards that are acceptably animated.

Sound: 3
Yuck. There's hardly any sound. There would definitely be room for a bibbity boppity pointless background melody. Something like that elephant song that they play at baseball games. Man would that be sweet. Alas, all you get are "click", "flip", and "BRRZZZT!!!". That last sound (the typical intellivison deafening roar that must be built into the system) doesn't merely occur every now and then, it happens as a result of ANY invalid input. Trying to bet more than TWO digits?? Back off buddy -- BRRZZTT!

A single "boop" or "blunk" would have done the trick. I'm dumbfounded as to why it wouldn't occur to them to replace it with a less mind-scraping sound. I'm surprised the dealer doesn't switch to his angry face every time this sound appears. As a side note, the other sounds don't really bother me, and the "shuffling" sound does a decent job as soon as you figure out that's what it is.

Gameplay: 2
It is difficult to judge the gameplay of a gambling game in terms of fun. You cannot win in the end, of course. But a gambling game (and vegas slot machines) that gets it right would be one that completely overdoes the fact that you win. There should be flashing lights, twirling notes, and needless loving praise, not a red "W" next to the winner. Wouldn't YOU stay at a vegas slot machine 5 minutes longer if it shot fire out of the top whenever you won? I know I would.

The game goes unforgivably slow. I ache for an ability to skip the dealing animations and get to the game. I wish the dealer didn't take so long to raise or call (or ask himself how much he wants to bet). There ought to be an option at the title screen like many other games, or something like that.

Multiplayer is essentially out of the question. You can't get rid of the dealer, which may have made the game a bit cooler, I guess. However, there is no fixing the biggest obvious flaw: your cards have to be visible on the screen. The game designers did their best, I admit. Your cards are hidden until you hit the disc on the controller, to give you time to ask you friend to look away, assuming you care that much or trick your friend into playing in the first place. I can not think of a good solution to this problem, I would have just left having a second player out...

Which brings me to my next point: the game's beginning. You enter your "wallet" at the start. You can even enter 9999, and start off with maximum cash. Again, where's the incentive in winning? Plus, both players must enter their wallet before playing, which is sure to confuse you after you've typed in yours, and notice that the game has not yet started. Just more reason to leave the game single player.

Overall: 3 - (Lame)
There's not much to like about this game unless you really REALLY enjoy virtual gambling, even if it's slow.

So, should you buy this game? BRRZZZTT!!!! Ha ha ha ha. *cough*

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 07/23/04