Conker's Bad Fur Day

"Okay, for anyone who gives this a low score for being crude, consider that this game isn't for everyone"

Okay, let me explain why Rare refused to make this game child friendly. It's because they were sick and tired of being cute, and they wanted to end their N64 career with a bang. Conker's 12 Tales would not have been a bang, nor did it look any good.

Okay, before you start complaining about this game being really mature, consider the M rating in big print on the cover. Also, it's not Rare's fault that there wasn't a warning visible to the naked eye. No, the company responsible for putting the warning on it put the warning in black print on a black box so nobody could possibly read it.

Okay, I have the reasons not to take this game seriously cleared up. On with the review.

Graphics: 10/10

Undoubtedly the best graphics for the N64. If you can find better, I'd love to see these graphics. Characters are actually designed rather well, and for once, they look like they're supposed to look. Like, Rare wasn't stupid enough to make a dung beetle into a beetle made entirely out of poop, did they? No, they look like they're supposed to. All right, so maybe Catfish and Dogfish still manage to look cartoonish. Personally, I thought that was rather funny, so it's not a problem. Now, some characters may look disgusting to you, like a giant blob of poo that throws poo at you. Like, every time he opens his mouth, you can see scat in between his teeth, and that can be rather gross. Still, he is the best boss in the game, so it doesn't matter.

Sound: 9/10

Sound is terrific and the voices are the best I've ever heard for any game. Okay, there's a 1 point decrease mostly because it's often in a continuous loop, and the overworld theme isn't much to be proud of. Still, it never fails to amaze me. Also, the poo I mentioned earlier sings a song written by Weird Al. It has an amazing Opera rhythm and funny lyrics. Now, although the sound can get very continuous, it is just amazing and the accents are awesome.

Plot: 8/10

Now, there is always a lower score for this than the others, and I can see why. Conker gets drunk, wanders away from home and has to get back. Meanwhile, the "Fairy Panther King" spills his milk and has to replace the table leg with a squirrel. Yeah, it's a dumb plot, but it made me laugh. I don't see how no one can find that funny. Also, there's the often ignored thing with Berri. Yep, this is what makes me internally mad at Rare. They killed off Berri! Also, did they have to change her from a Burnett chipmunk into a tall blond? Yup, this is the first time any game I've played has had a depressing/emotional ending. Now, if you can't cry at this ending, you have no heart whatsoever because it's really sad.

Replayability: 7/10

If you say that one would never want to play this again, you are sadly mistaken. You'd be more than thrilled to play this again to see all the humorous parts this game has to offer. Okay, 3 point deduction because there are parts that will burn you up inside, but that's it. This game is really fun and once you finish it, you can't stop yourself from saying, "I'm going to play this again."

Gameplay: 8/10

The gameplay is very standard. You have a propeller-tail-thing, a high jump, a regular jump, a running option and a hit-the-enemy-with-a-frying-pan-or-some-other-object option. You also have B pads that make any useful item automatically appear. Mind you, it's when you're given guns that you have to start strategizing and the gameplay gets more actiony.

Humor: 10/10

I decided to give this its own section because the humor rules. Trust me, as I've said before, this humor/game is not for everyone, so if you've never enjoyed Monty Python, another British comedy or can't take a joke, don't listen to the lines used in the cut-scenes. Honestly, who cares about swearing? That's actually quite funny when you think about it. Note the "M" rating on the cover. Swears are expected. The physical humor is great too. I'd say the greatest thing about the humor is that nothing is safe from ridicule, even the game itself. Now, poo jokes may seem very immature and cliched, but not this game's humor. This poo humor is actually unique from all others.

Buy/Rent: Buy, definitely buy. Anyone who thinks this game shouldn't have been made should take note of why Rare made this game in the first place. Overall, if you can't take a joke, rent it just so you can try it. That way you don't have to pay 40-something dollars for a game you regret purchasing.

Overall: 10/10

It's the greatest game ever made. It's humor, fun plot and all that junk is what makes it great. Just remember, folks, it's not for everyone. If you don't like British humor or can't take a joke, this game isn't for you. For those of you who can take a joke and have at least watched some form of British humor, you will absolutely love this game. You'd put all things on hold to play this. Overall, it's a great game that's, again, not for everyone to enjoy.

Reviewer's Score: 10/10, Originally Posted: 08/14/06