Superman

"Wow! This game really does live up to it's reputation of being one of the worst games ever made"

Superman 64... a game that's infamous for it's terrible quality, among other things. Of course we've all heard about how bad this game is, so when I saw an inexpensive used copy of this game at a local game store, I thought giving it a try wouldn't hurt... and was I wrong. I'd heard plenty of people saying how truly awful this game was, but it didn't prepare me for experiencing it firsthand...

Graphics - 1/10

I had no idea the N64 was even capable of such terrible graphics, namely the muddled textures. The first thing you'd notice is the ground, and how at some times you'd have trouble identifying whether you're over water, land, or cityscape. The buildings are blocky and pasty looking, and on top of all this... there's that wonderful "Kryptonite Fog" which reduces visibility to within what's just directly in front of, or below you. From a distance things may look decent, but upon closer inspection, you quickly realize everything looks like crap (is that what our kryptonite fog is trying to cover up?)

Sound - 1/10

Not even much here. There's some very quiet, repetitive music that you have to crank the volume way up to hear (It's not even worth pressing the button on your TV controller) and some corny "Unh! Ugh!" noises shouted by superman as he is hurt along with the short, pointless voice clips you'll hear throughout the game. Basically Titus could've just had complete silence incorporated into the game and it would've been better off.

Controls - 1/10

Possibly one of the worst and most frustrating aspects of the game. Even though the controls are relatively simple, Superman is downright difficult to control. The control stick seems to vary in sensitivity here, either barely moving him when jamming and throttling it as hard as you can, or shooting him across the screen with just a little touch. Landing and taking off is extremely awkward, seeing as how I had to constantly jam and pound the buttons needed in order to do it, and much of the time he wouldn't even respond. At first I thought something was wrong with my controller, but after playing through any of my N64 games a bit, it was easily evident that the controls were ONLY LIKE THIS WHEN PLAYING SUPERMAN 64 and perfectly tuned when playing anything else.

Gameplay - 1/10

As superman, your objective is to... fly through rings. That's right, hundreds of floating rings. Sounds like fun doesn't it? and if you lose at this (which actually isn't that hard to do), you have to do it ALL OVER AGAIN. Then there's the parts in between... Fighting bad guys, and picking up cars and stuff like that. Normally for superman, such things would be a breeze... But, not here. For some reason, Titus decided to make superman as powerful as an octogenarian. You'll notice he's missing many of his key abilities such as Laser vision, ice breath, super speed, or anything like that at all earlier in the game (and when you do finally obtain some of these things, they're relatively useless). So, you have to rely on him flinging his arms around like an idiot to attack enemies and accomplish your goal. There's also the glitches you'll encounter such as getting stuck inside walls, getting stuck in the ground, the camera not responding, the game just completely freezing up, or not responding... upon other things.

Conclusion: Overall, superman 64 is a combination of things that make a terrible game. I wonder WHY or even HOW a game like this was released with the state it's in. I'd recommend steering clear of this one, no matter how curious you are. If you really want to, by all means.. go right ahead and pick it up. After a bit of playing, you'll quickly agree with me and regret purchasing this game. I found the only worthwhile aspect of this game to be the satisfying of my curiosity... other than that, this game serves no purpose other than to annoy the crap out of me each time I play it. But, I must admit... I was pretty amused at it all, It surely won't be something that I forget anytime soon.

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 08/25/06