Mario Golf

"There's a Reason why Golf Course Owners saw a 25% Drop in Their Profits When This Game Came Out"

It's quiet. Too quiet. The eateries are empty. Mushrooms aren't running around with their heads on fire. Luigi isn't being snubbed by his tubby brother. And worst of all, Bowser isn't getting embarrassed by Mario in another failed attempt at capturing his true love. Just where are these elusive vegetables, though? Where could they be? Has Bowser managed to finally win and turn the Mushroom Kingdom into a graveyard of sorts?

Nope, he's still too stupid to do something like that. Give him another five years.

Instead of finally managing to put Mario and Luigi into a hole for once, Bowser and his cronies decided to call a temporary truce with Mario and the gang. So you expect them to have a nice, quiet getaway, right? Wrong. Instead of taking a well-deserved break, the whole Mushroom Kingdom has decided to take part in a golf tournament. That's right, they're taking part in America's favorite bore-fest. The resulting chaos forms into none other than Nintendo's crack at golfing fame, Mario Golf.

Featuring multiple characters from the Mario universe, Mario Golf attempts to deliver a solid golfing experience. And you know what? For the most part, it succeeds. Control is sharp, graphics are right on par with the best on the N64, and to top it all off, there are multiple characters, courses, and tournaments to keep even a grizzled sports fanatic entertained until they can find the time to get off their own rump and play the darn game themselves.

The funny part is they may never want to.

Unlike some other games on the market that wind up trying so hard to be realistic but fail so miserably that it's actually funny, Mario Golf does an excellent job of delivering a rough and tough golfing experience that puts others to shame. Right from the start, it's fully apparent. After you've chosen you're Mushroom Kingdom reject, and managed to pick a course from the multiple that are available, it's time to tee off. Players are introduced to the course chosen through an intro like cinematic that gives a good opportunity to spot out any sand or water traps lurking about. After putting up with a couple of more lazy button presses, you're finally ready to whack the darn ball.

Depending on the course at hand (and they do vary greatly), players can choose whether to either dodge around the course or go right for the gold. This is all determined by how hard you hit the darn thing, or in lamens terms, the ball speed. A couple of meters that the player must hit with well-timed button presses determines Ball speed and direction, and how well (or poorly) the ball flies depends on how you've timed your pudgy finger's down strokes. After taking a couple of swings, you'll hopefully manage to get the ball in that little tiny hole at the end of the course. How many turns you've taken reflects you're score, but let's not forget that you don't have the course all to your little old self.

Teeing off with you is another golf player, and just like you get to take your little swings of rage at that undersized ball, so does the other player. The only the difference is they almost never make the same stupid mistakes that you almost undoubtedly will. And believe me, it hurts. Bad. Unless you manage to get extraordinarily accurate with your button jams, every match that you face is going to turn into a heated competition of 18 holes from heck. It's really that hard. The only thing going in your favor is the fact that you may get one or two lucky misses (plus the fact that the Z button triggers a yell from your character that can make the other player stupidly miss).

Still, with all of the courses that Mario Golf offers, you'll get better in time. To try and cut that time shorter, though (and you'll really want to try and do that), the developers added in a boatload of unlockables and goodies that will give you all the practice and challenges that you'll need to get yourself into tip top shape. By meeting certain conditions, Mario Golf gives you the ability to get extra characters and courses, as well as a couple of cool mini games that really serve as the highlights from the game. These games range from knockout to shooting golf balls through rings of light in mid air. Some can be a bit short, but most are definitely fun and entertaining.

To help all of these things along, Mario Golf manages to put off a colorful graphical scheme complimented by some solid musical tracks. Although the graphics don't scream perfection, the rough edges present on characters from most other games are thankfully missing in this one, while environments are light, cheery, and definitely have their own sense of taste. Shading was done to perfection, while the general lighting was pulled off nicely. On the other hand of the spectrum, the music does its job in a very subtle, pleasant way. While you may not always be happy with its subtle nature, the music is always there, ready to keep you through those long menus between matches. It isn't varied that much, but it ultimately does what it was meant to do – not get in the way of the game itself.

To say that Mario Golf did its job of providing a solid golfing experience on the N64 is an understatement, because to be quite honest, you may never need another golfing game again. The game has so many modes, rewards, and unlockables to choose from that you may find yourself spending hundreds of hours fiddling with it. Not to say that's a good thing, though. Nintendo just gave golf course owners one more reason to hate them.

Reviewer's Score: 9/10, Originally Posted: 06/29/07