Road Rash 64

"Ok, you're dead meat, buddy. Dead meat! In my sandwich, do you hear me?!"

Though it takes a bit of courage to say it, we gamers all know it to be true: Bashing people over the head while riding a motorcycle is fun! That said, after nearly wetting my pants with laughter while playing Road Rash 3D on PlayStation, I knew I had to own Road Rash 64. But is it anywhere near as funny? Read on.

Story: 8/10

If you’ve played any of the other games in the series (and chances are that you have if you’re reading this), you should be familiar with the storyline. As a crazed vigilante, you’re out to make tons of cash competing in a series of motorcycle races, while causing as much havoc as humanly possible on everyone and everything in your path. To sweeten the deal, two rival biker gangs, the Thrashers and the Rumblers, are looking for new members. But to prospect with them, you must prove your mettle by racing against them. Will you join their ranks, or fly solo? Will you ride into glory, or crash and burn? It’s all up to you.

Gameplay: 8/10

Like most of the other Road Rash titles, Road Rash 64 boasts a variety of bikes from two basic classes -- cruisers and sport bikes, each with their own individual strengths and weaknesses. While cruisers are generally better on straight-aways and have an edge in acceleration, sport bikes have a distinct advantage around tight turns, but are a bit more fragile than their cruiser counterparts. Your choice of ride depends on your personal preference, of course, but the smartest bet is to switch classes from time to time in order to negotiate the game’s various courses. Once you’ve chosen your bike and your rider, you’ll be turned loose on the streets, free to inflict as much pain as you want on your hapless foes with no small variety of weapons at your disposal. From the requisite chains, baseball bats and tire irons to the downright brutal sledgehammers and monkey wrenches, and even the dreaded giant banana, your opponents are in for a severe beating. Obstacles like traffic, street signs, trees, and even pedestrians (basically everything you’d expect to see in the real world) will hinder your every turn. Not to mention the police, who can send you to jail with a few quick hits and end up costing you some of your precious dough, most of which you’ll need in order to upgrade and make repairs on your ride. But if you run out of cash, it’s curtains for you, and as the repair shop guy says, you’re better off catching the bus home. Or better yet, call your mom and have her come pick you up. She misses you.

Graphics: 6/10

Instead of rehashing one of the earlier games in the series, Pacific Coast Power & Light opted to build an entirely new game from the ground up, using an outrageous new physics engine guaranteed to leave you roaring with laughter. On the downside, the graphics themselves appear muddy and distorted, and some careful exploration of the countryside will yield up a decent cache of 2D pop-ups, but they really aren’t much of a detriment to the game while tearing down the road at 150 mph. To its credit, Road Rash 64 boasts fewer polygons per bike and rider. As a result, the later races are extremely fast, enough that you’ll need to take time to adjust before you can progress. In a sense, Road Rash 64 sacrifices eye candy for speed, which is usually a welcome tradeoff in a game such as this.

Control: 8/10

Road Rash 64 takes full advantage of the N64 controller’s layout. The Z-Button is used for throttle, while the Analog stick is used for steering. B controls breaking, while A enables you to perform a wheelie to soar over oncoming traffic. The C-Buttons are your main source of attack, allowing you to rain blows upon your rival racers with relative ease. For the most part, the controls are quick and responsive, giving you a good handle on the action.

Sound: 8/10

Road Rash games are often noted for their music, and this game is no exception. Musical artists such as Sugar Ray and the Mermen provide the perfect thrash soundtrack for ripping down the highway and beating people to a pulp. Sound effects are limited to the basic grunts and groans, but there is plenty of variety at that. If you wreck your bike or land in jail, you’ll be greeted with a humorous voice sample as cleanly recorded as the musical tracks.

Overall: 8/10

If you’re looking for a few hours of mindless entertainment, Road Rash 64 is your ticket. Despite the game’s overwhelming level of brutality, not a single drop of blood ever appears on the screen, thus classifying the action as closer to animated violence than anything else. And much like a cartoon, the game is hilariously over-the-top, and the fact that it doesn’t take itself too seriously only adds to its charm. With tons of codes and options to keep you and your friends busy for quite a while, Road Rash 64 should not disappoint.

Reviewer's Score: 8/10, Originally Posted: 11/22/02, Updated 11/22/02