Earthworm Jim 3D

"Just....Horrible"

You may notice that I gave Wayne's World for the Nintendo Entertainment System a higher score than Earthworm Jim 3-D for the Nintendo 64. Go on. Check. You may be thinking, ''Hmm...is Jim the only one who's lost his mind?'' My response is no, he's not. The developers of this garbage-in-a-cartridge game have lost it as well.

THE ORIGIN OF JIM
The Earthworm Jim saga began about a decade ago for the Sega Genesis. Combining some of the freshest platforming gameplay ever seen with a wicked sense of humor, Jim was a smash hit. The game stars Earthworm Jim, just a normal worm in a cyber-kinetic Super Suit which gives him amazing powers. He and Peter the Puppy must fend off the malicious PsyCrow (Get it? Psycho...PsyCrow? Worms hate crows!!). A Pulitzer-calliber work of fiction no doubt, and good enough for Saturday mornings apparently. EJ once had a cartoon!

In Earthworm Jim 3-D, an Nintendo 64 exclusive from Interplay, Jim is in an unconcious state at the hospital, his sanity in doubt. An astroprojection of Jim must enter the twisted recesses of his own foresaken mind to cure what ails him. He must visit his greatest fears and worst memoreis...WOW. Honestly, a phenominal concept.

Graphics: Everything looks very colorful, and very round. I must say, that EJ's strongest point does lie in the graphics. Jim moves smoothly, his wormy worm head bobbing as he walks. Particles also are shockingly well done. Props yo. Props.
Score: 9

Sound: About as good as you can do with a cart. Short dialogue, lots of repetitive sound effects, Jim screaming. It's all good. Or average at the least.
Score: 7...maybe an 8. No...7

Controls: Both excellent and terrible at the same time. It isn't the button configuration that is sub-standard- it's the way Jim moves. He jumps floatly, which makes jumping difficult to time. He runs in a bizzare manner as well. This is the first time that I've encountered a 3-D game in which turning a character is difficult! I just can't imagine Jim and his Super Suit moving like that. It doesn't feel natural on either ends.
Score: 4

Gameplay: Crap. This game isn't fun. At all. Every level consists of collecting new guns from vending machine while collecting marbles (Lost his marbles!), which are scattered all about. Then you must get Stars. Or Jiggies. Or Golden Bananas. Hmm...I can't really remember what they are called in this one. All the while the game counts the number of footsteps that ya take. It's enough to drive a rusher and a perfectionist crazy. Not to mention that all enemies are impossibly difficult to defeat, including the bosses. There are mini-games as well, like an army obsticle course. These, as ya can imagine, are bad as well.
Score: 2

In the end, only the graphics and humor can save this new example of a 2-D game gone bad. Don't waste your time, you'll get more laughs watching The Mysterious World of Ken. That's pathetic.

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 12/20/02, Updated 12/20/02