Space Station Silicon Valley

"Hello, little puppy! Come here, little pup... OH GOD! AHHH! STOP SHOOTING MISSLES!"

Space Station: Silicon Valley is the weirdest N64 game of all time, with only Glover coming close to it.

Story: 10
A hilarious opening cutscene starts the whole thing off..

Silicon Valley was originally intended to be a theme park full of robotic animals, but it disappeared soon after being launched, then came back 100 years later. After losing several highly esteemed search parties, the government sends the cheapo "Hunters for Hire", Dan and EVO, a human and a robot, respectively. As they approach the station, they start to fight over the radio, completely ignoring the huge meteor approaching the rocket. It crashes into the front and sends them spiraling towards the station. EVO frantically pounds on the eject button, but no dice.
Meanwhile, a dog and a sheep are having a Romeo/Juliet moment, which is promptly ruined when the ship lands on the dog. Then the eject button kicks in and sends EVO hurtling skyward. As he hits the glass roof, his head, arms, torso, and legs fly off in different directions, leaving only his computer chip (which conveniently has eyes and legs) to fall back down. Seeing the dead robo-dog, EVO hops in and takes control...
This is all accompanied by silly mission briefings by Dan.

Gameplay: 10
In this game, you, as a robot's computer chip, take control of various robotic animals to complete missions and to rebuild your body. The missions range from expected (kill everything) to ridiculous (find a bunch of severed heads scattered in the snow). You are accompanied (notice I didn't say assisted) by a guy named Dan. Dan is quite possibly the stupidest human this side of Homer Simpson. Win a mission, and you'll get a sneak peek at the important stuff he's been doing in the ship. He'll either be sleeping or weakly clapping for you. Thanks, Dan, remind me to fry your brain with my laser later.

Graphics: 6
Very blocky, but with a lot of personality. Besides, it's only the N64.

Sound: 9
Aside from a few unforgettable tunes, the music will stay in your head for eons after playing. Truly good stuff, and also intentionally cheesy. It's like elevator music. Plus, it's coming out of speakers scattered around Silicon Valley, so if you don't like it, just blow up the speakers. Sound is good, too. Iff you eat flowers sing the robotic sheep and then press B, a flower is shot out of the sheep as it farts. The rat uses flatulence as a weapon, forming a green gas around himself (and yes, he makes the farting noise).

Overall: 9
Aside from one majorly depressing glitch that keeps you from getting a 100% file (although you can still finish the game without 100%), this game is nearly perfect. Do yourself a favor and track this one down.

Reviewer's Score: 9/10, Originally Posted: 08/05/04