Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

"Turtles in a Half-Shell.... IN YOUR FACE!!!!"

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (NES)
Reviewed by KurtVoakes

If you want a game that is pleasant to the ears, easy to navigate through, and has a compelling story, then this game is not for you. As soon as you push the power button, you're granted with only a few seconds to enjoy peace and quiet because you're denied silence when the title screen kicks into your monitor. If you decide to stick around with the title for a while, you get served with one of the most "In your face"..... scratch that, "IN YOUR FACE" opening cinematics in history.

Opening - 9/10
The cinematic introduces you to the four turtles evolving into teenage mutant ninjas one by one. But if you think that's it, you got it wrong. As soon as they evolve, they start beating the crap out of your monitor before they present to you their personal mugshots accompanied by their name and arsenal. After the turtles are done serving your television, it cuts to splinter pointing at the sky. What is he pointing to? It's Shredder and a few ninja on top of a cloud, and they have April! As soon as you get the picture, the title screen kicks back in and you can choose to play the game.

Sound/Music - 5/10
The music fits the setting and action of the game beautifully. That and the fact that it loops every 15 seconds! But that doesn't necessairly mean that that's a bad thing. The music still sounds good and most of the time, you won't even notice. The attack sounds are unfortunately misplaced, and this game has been gifted the ever popular "Mario" jump sound. The damage sound of when you get hit (AKA touch someone) is a good defining sound of pain. It is so bad, you will be motivated not to get hit.

Graphics/Sprites - 6/10
This game has a good selection of baddies to swing your stick at. We have Foot Clan Ninjas, Chainsaw Charlies, Plas-mud people, and Legs of the Living Dead.
But oh well, at least we know what we're fighting. And it's great to know that the turtles are given an exclusive color, GREEN! That's right, nobody else will be caught mocking the turtles trademark green.

Gameplay - 7/10
Now this is where the game shines. In level 1, you are forced by the ownage of anti-turtle bulldozers to go into the robo-mice filled sewers. There, you'll travel from point A to point B, cleaning out the garbage along the way. Every now and then, you'll come across a mini-boss battle, and you'll probably make butter out of it. Eventually you will save April, but then the game gets back IN YOUR FACE when the Foot threaten to blow up the dam. Level 2 is what I like to call "The frying pan" because after the dam, your soul will be dominated. You are given 2 minutes of unforgiving damnation to deactivate 8 bombs, easy? NO! In this fun little segment, you are forsaken by God. Electric barriers will hurt you, seaweed will kill you, and the timer will stop by the time you reach the end if you plan on keeping your turtles at full health. If you just happen to make it, you are rewarded with another "IN YOUR FACE" cinematic. Now that you saved April and the dam, Shredder is pissed off and kidnaps Splinter. And if that wasn't bad enough, he left a message on your TV. It's him, laughing at your miserable lack of health, and pointing at you with his hand coming out of the screen and IN YOUR FACE!

Overall - 7/10

Reviewer's Score: 7/10, Originally Posted: 01/04/07