Action 52

"A grueling analysis of this now infamous game. Fun to read, traumatizing to write."

1991. SkiFree and Sonic are released, along with a plethora of sequels to classic games like Kid Icarus and Metroid. But 1991, like any other year in video game history, was the time of some darker releases. Which brings us to the subject of Action 52. Action 52 was released at a whopping $200.00, advertising the misleading, but true "less than $4 for each game". You see, Action 52 included fifty two games, two of them non-functional on a regular Nintendo Entertainment System (more on that later). While other reviews generally cover the overall quality of this product, this review will cover every single game. Because, with fifty two games, you've gotta like at least one, right?



1. FIRE BREATHERS
"It's the last of the dragon wars. You must kill the dragon riders in the midnight skies and bring victory to the kingdom."
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With that description, you'd think it would be some epic role playing game. Well, it's not. Fire Breathers is a two player top-down shooter where a red and blue dragon must pelt each other with fireballs until the other dies and the screen abruptly switches to the next level. There are eight levels total; all of them take up one screen. Some of them give an advantage to certain players, like the last level, which pins player 1 with a stone wall limiting movement. Must of the time, it's just empty space, however. Occasionally, a fireball might appear out of nowhere. They don't move and can be taken out with a fireball of your own. Sometimes, a moving obstacle might show up, which can too, be obliterated with a fireball. There is no music whatsoever and the sounds are annoying and unrealistic. Graphically, it's nothing special, but there aren't any problems either. Overall, it's the best two player experience in this entire package (not saying much), and even then, it'll get monotonous and boring quickly.
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2. STAR EVIL
"The star gets brighter until there is no night. Then the fire creatures come out to rule and defeat you but kill them all and bring back the night."
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Another misleading description. It may just be a back story, but Star Evil lacks any semblance of plot. There's no brightening star. There's no fire creatures. And quite frankly, it looks like it's nighttime already. In regards to the gameplay, Star Evil is a vertical scrolling shooter, like Ikaruga or Xevious. Immediately, at the start of every level, some wall or floating object with hit you or severely damage you. You spawn so close to an obstacle, it's almost impossible to avoid it on a first playthrough. After that, it's the easy task of shooting the three types of enemies (they don't do anything and all die in one hit) and weaving through strange colored blocks surrounded by bricks. At the end of each level, a boss spawns. Depending on its mood, it might ram into you without giving you a chance, or it'll fly into a wall and come out some time later. Beating the boss is a matter of luck. Some of the obstacles don't even make any sense. For instance, in the second level, you'll have to avoid these little blocks of red ectoplasm (despite terrible collision detection). Not only would it have been easier to make asteroids or something, it would have made a hell of a lot more sense. The music is tolerable, but only because you'll be playing Star Evil for ten minutes at the max. A terrible game, but one of the more decent games in this package.
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3. ILLUMINATOR
"The Illuminator must find his sister in the dark. He must also find batteries if his get weak and can use a special spotlight to kill the enemies. Can also get additional flashlights, but he must be careful of enemies like shadows, vampires and others."
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Wrong yet again. You perverts would have liked the idea of finding somebody's sister in the dark wouldn't you? Too bad. No sisters, no addition flashlights (that I've seen). Batteries are there, but they don't do anything. The point of this game is to kill enough enemies until the screen abruptly changes into the next level. There are levels, and your transportation between them is ladders. But there's a twist. The level starts out bright, before the entire screen (except for the floor and ladders) turn black. You can bring back the light by shooting your yellow square at the enemies, which are mostly comprised of guys moving back and forth for some odd reason, and a bat, who moves faster than you and can fly anywhere on the map. Occasionally, an enemy might glitch near the ladders, which is a big problem, because one hit will kill you, causing some weird stone obelisk to rise from your corpse. It's also possible to wrap around the screen ala Pac Man or Kid Icarus. Musically, it's quite catchy, although monotonous. The only sound effect in this game sounds like a low quality rendition of a squeaky door, but it's bearable. Illuminator is not bad graphically, the blackouts and animations work fine, and the sprites look like what they are supposed to be. Overall, it might be a fun diversion if it wasn't so god damn unfair.
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4. G-FORCE FIGHTERS
"Watch your fuel level. Use it wisely and escape the force that holds you. The enemies are strong but the G-Force of the planet will take us as we get powerless."
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You know the drill, the description doesn't match the gameplay at all, and the story is nowhere to be found. G-force Fighters is a horizontal space shooter. Along the lines of Zero Wing without the iconic opening sequence, powerups, decent music, etc. Enemies look like crap, they could be fish for all we know. Occasionally they'll shoot, but they're moving so fast that they'll fly through their projectile. The top and bottom is fatal if you choose to venture into those parts, and there aren't any obstacles except for enemies (who die in one hit). This basically means that the level changes are purely aesthetic, with changes in the top and bottom. The first level has branches, the second level is an improvement, with bathroom tiles and some weird metallic surface. The music is annoying, and the graphics and sound are unremarkable. Stay away from this one.
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5. OOZE
"Avoid the green ooze."
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Ooze was important enough to have its own title screen, but apparently, it didn't deserve a backstory. However, the description actually has relevance to the game! Yes indeed! You do avoid the green ooze! You navigate your chubby mohawk friend through some strangely organic environment made of bubbles. Occasionally you might have to jump over a pit or shoot a smiling slime reminiscent of Dragon Quest/Warrior. Complex stuff. Go far enough, and you'll get to the next level. If you do manage to dodge the blue slime which you can't shoot or jump over, the game will crash eventually. Bland graphics and punishing difficulty makes Ooze lose. The music's not bad though.
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6. SILVER SWORD
"Mutants in the forest and the must be fought off."
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Another description matching the game! Although I'm not quite sure they're mutants. Whatever. The forest looks absolutely terrible, as does your character and the mutant inhabitants. There's barely any animation also. Silver Sword is your typical Action 52 quality top down shooter. The screen scrolls up when you move up, so it's not forced. Your attacks are limited to throwing a sword, which you have infinite amounts of. You can take a few hits before disappearing into a cloud of sand. Going up far enough transports you to the next level. Notice a pattern here? There's very little variety to be had in Action 52. Boring, even by Action 52 standards. Its only redeeming quality is its music, and even that's not good.
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7. CRITICAL BYPASS
"You have got to land with your valuable cargo, but the intense gravitational pull on this planet is treacherous. You must initiate landing procedures, defeat this gravity problem, and save your cargo."
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Damn. We were on a roll with two descriptions that make sense. Ah well. Critical Bypass is a horizontal scrolling shooter. The two types of enemies come in either red and blue. One type is a horribly irritating cloud of space dust that follows you around. The other type are squares, made up of four squares, which don't do anything but stay in one spot. This isn't Ikaruga, the colors don't do anything. You can shoot in all four directions, but in order to do you, you have to move in that direction first, and with the hypersensitive controls, and the total lack of homing capabilities, you're better off just dodging everything. You can't take much damage before crashing, which makes Critical Bypass a challenge. The music and sound will make your ears bleed; you're better off muting it. Either that or cut off your ears. Graphically, the ground looks great, with detailed textures and good looking craters. Your ship is some puny little circle, obviously the best choice when it comes to dealing with precious cargo.

8. JUPITER SCOPE
"At first we saw one or two fall and thought nothing of it, never thinking it could result in a Meteor shower. Using the "Star-Zap" Laser we shoot them out of the sky, before they collide with things, but the meteor shower gets more intense."
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Well, you do shoot meteors out of the sky, but there's no real penalty for letting them fall to the well detailed city below. Nothing really happens, you can either shoot them or just let them fall. Boring. They also name it Jupiter Scope, yet Saturn, the Moon, and a few stars are the only astronomical objects in sight. Everything but your ship looks decent, but the music and sound effects simply suck. You're better off avoiding this one.
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9. ALFREDO AND THE FETUCINI'S
"The pasta has gotten out of control, and you've got to race the clock and get the spaghetti, linguine and other pasta back into the pot where it belongs."
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Well, there's no racing the clock, but it is true that the pasta has gotten out of control... however stupid of a concept that may be. This is one of the games that simply doesn't work on a regular Nintendo console. Using an emulator, I was able to run it... unfortunately. The music wasn't bad, and it has some of the best graphics this game has to offer. The biggest problem is that the pasta is extremely fast and you have very little time to react. A simply whack with your frying pan will take care of them, but once the noodle walks into you, you're done for. There are other foes then the initial macaroni, like ravioli, which don't move. There's also a potentially game breaking bug where if you attack in midair, you'll no longer be subject to the forces of gravity, allowing you to "float" or "glide" down safely. Well, the game was broken to begin with, I guess it can't really be called "game breaking". The poor design of Alfredo not only makes it frustrating, but unplayable.
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10. OPERATION FULL MOON
"Mission: Assault Luna Base 1; Drive your dune buggy through enemy territory, destroying all terrible occupants and establishments. Better look around real good and leave no moon-stone unturned."
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The description isn't terribly inaccurate, rather, it's just terrible writing. The music follows the Action 52 trend of being annoying, but tolerable. Graphics actually look pretty good for a game of this era. Sound is nothing special. It's not bad, but it's not that good either. Operation Full Moon is a vertical scrolling shooter. You shoot the red or orange turrets... that never shoot in any direction other than east or west. It's not overly difficult and easy on the eyes. Not much else to say here other than this is one of Action 52's better games.
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11. DAM BUSTERS
"They are destroying everything and the only way to save the wildlife is to break the dam and let the water free."
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I don't understand it either. You play as some bear in an orange garment in a top-down view. The paths you have to travel over are usually twisting and riddled with enemies. You have complete freedom on when you move, but you can't go back to the left. You can also shoot your adversaries with some spotted orange balls. I'm not quite sure what they are either. The music is catchy and enjoyable. The graphics are well made and detailed, and the gameplay is simple, but has lots of potential. Plus, it's not frustrating to play. Too bad this game ends so soon.
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12. THRUSTERS
"You have right and left thrusters. Hit full speed and use laser canons to avoid the alien invasions in the galaxy."
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...? Okay then. Let's just ignore that and get right to the meat of this game. Simply put, after you get a cheap laugh out of the sexual innuendo, there's not much else this game has to offer. It looks terrible, the music or repetitive and sounds like screeching cats whispering, and it's horribly boring. How so? You fly up constantly and kill everything in one hit. There's no challenge because everything is easy to dodge and there's no fun to be had.
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13. HAUNTED HALLS
"Ghosts and ghoulies are running loose in the cemetery. Get them all back to where they belong and end the chaos in the Halls of Wentworth."
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I guess you're in the catacombs then. You play a female dressed in red. No, not Samus Aran, although that would have made this game a hell of a lot more enjoyable. You see, Samus is at least adequate in her jumping techniques. Not only that, she can aim her weapon. Samus's weapon is a powerful beam hooked onto a highly advanced Chozo made suit. Your character's weapon consists of tilting her head back and launching a tiny cross from her pelvis. Being extremely small, makes it difficult to hit far away enemies. You can only shoot in the direction you're facing, at the exact level her waist is at. You can't even shoot more than one on the screen. To make things worse, you can't jump very high, at least not high enough to get a shot off at the enemies that are constantly higher than you. Add the fact that one shot kills you, and that the floating after a jump makes you very vulnerable to the plethora of problems. Although the visuals and sound effects fit the mood of the game, Haunted Halls is too difficult for its own good.
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14. CHILL-OUT
"Old man winter is at the top and is your goal, but it keeps snowing and he's blowing. You must reach the top before you get snowed under."
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First of all, I must say that I absolutely love Winter and everything associated with it: snow, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, lights, cold, nighttime, etc. Thus, I might be a bit biased in reviewing the atmosphere of this game. The music certainly has a cheery, yet cold tone to it, and is enjoyable. The graphics are obviously blue, white, and black, which does a good job giving a chilly feeling to the atmosphere of the game. However, the gameplay does not do well with the glory of winter. You play some weird gorilla/yeti who throws snowballs. The layout of the map is similar to Illuminator (separate levels separated by ladders. The difference is that there aren't any blackouts and you can take a hit. The thing is, the platforms are smaller, so the enemies have less room to move in. This is particularly bad because there are plenty of times where you have to get on said platform, but can't without getting damaged. The enemies also have ranged attacks, and will not hesitate to spam it, thus preventing access to a level without injury. Another game, which is too difficult for its own good.
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15. SHARKS
"You are a Frogman and must collect rare marine creatures and recover lost treasures at the bottom of the sea. You have your stun-gun and can always retreat into your electromagnetic base that repels sharks and the rest of the enemies. Your diving suit can only survive a few shark bites and is useless against the deadly jelly fish."
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You can tell by this description that Active Enterprises was quite an ambitious company. Unfortunately, almost the entire description is a blatant lie. You're a human(oid) diver, who doesn't recover treasures, and cannot retreat into an electromagnetic base because it doesn't exist. You cannot take a few shark bites, and you are either not at the bottom of a sea, or the sea twenty feet deep. The graphics are decent enough, but you're better off muting this game. Sharks stays on one screen, and a variety of fish swim across it. You fire your "stun gun" at the fish and they disappear. It's boring and even lacks the comedic value of some of the other games.
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16. MEGALONIA
"She comes out of no where with her evil armies. You must defend against the wave after wave of enemies and they will attack until only the Empress Machine "Megalonia" remains."
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As you expected, there is no Megalonia... or maybe there was and I just don't know it. Whatever. This is one crappy game. Visually, there are two strips of jagged rocks on the top and bottom of the screen. They look terrible and don't do anything other than be an eyesore. All of the ships don't look particularly good either and there's almost no animation whatsoever. It also sounds as bad as it looks. There are plenty of other sidescrolling space shooters. There's no reason to play this.
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17. THE FRENCH BAKER
"You may try to keep the cookie patterns pounding, and the bread rising but it's not as easy as it sounds."
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...What? No cookies, no bread... as expected. This game is all about throwing pies at things that look like walking corn dogs, and envelopes... with wheels on them. It's basically like Illuminator or Chill-Out. You die in one hit, but you move faster than your foes and your pies are amongst the most accurate of the Action 52 projectiles. The music is appropriate for the game's French theme, but the visuals are composed of glitchy animations and almost unrecognizable monsters. It's not bad (Action 52 standards here), and it's worth a shot.
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18. ATMOS QUAKE
"The legions of space pirates are causing solar flares and sending shock waves to destroy your planet. You must fly in and arrest them all."
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Well, it's not so much arresting as it is blowing up. Atmos Quake is a vertical scrolling shooter. It's mediocre in all aspects and doesn't do anything out of the norm. Basically you control a paper airplane looking ship and weave it though odd metallic levels... in space of course. It's simply nothing special.
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19. MEONG
"Board game of strategy and skill. Try to get places from starting line to goal. Watch out for hidden traps. Harder than it sounds."
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Damn right it's harder than it sounds. What the hell is this supposed to be anyways? Basically, you navigate a triangle saying "A52" through a board made entirely of squares. Some squares are blocked off, there are also pits randomly strewn around. You also can't stay still or else you'll blow up. That's not the worst part though. There are "trap" tiles, which cause you to explode upon stepping on them. You can't see them until you wait around for them to open and close. Which makes every step you take possibly your last. Either that or you constantly have to stop, which makes a boring game even more unbearable. Bad graphics, no music, dreadful gameplay. Don't even touch this with a ten foot pole.
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20. SPACE DREAMS
"There is a black hole and on the other side are all your space dreams. You must get past all of the obstacles to enter the hole and realize your dreams."
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Weird even by Action 52 standards. It's also oddly nostalgic. You control a pacifier, or something that looks like it. It's a terribly easy vertical scrolling space shooter. Your background consists of strange, purple blobs with stars (not the balls of light, but actual, drawn, ten sided stars). Your foes are equally odd, being a gingerbread moose, the number "1" and a few other weird enemies. There's little challenge to this game, the music is decent, but nothing special, and the graphics don't particularly stand out.
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21. STREEMERZ
"Try climbing to the top of this one by throwing steamers and climbing them. On your way up you better watch out for the various pie throwing clowns, burning candles and bouncing balls, because if they get you you'll die a little each time."
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I die a little each time I play one of these games and write a paragraph about it. Well in Streemerz, you play a pudgy little clown whose only means of ascension are streamers. Basically, it's Bionic Commando without the gun, overhead battles, soundtrack, plot, and arsenal. Everything about this game is tolerable, although the gameplay is extremely glitchy with clipping issues. Not to mention, anything will hurt you. You'd think getting a bag of money would help, but nope, that's somehow damaging. Sometimes it's impossible to proceed without getting injured as well. This game isn't shy about utterly screwing you over at times. It's one of the better games available, don't let that fool you into thinking it's fun though.
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22. SPREAD FIRE
"You may have some great weapons, in fact the best. You will need them to fight off the tremendous enemies that seem to multiply."
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Ugh, another space shooter. Spread Fire features a ship that looks like a lobster. The enemies really don't make sense, and range from a series of green tubes, to red diamonds on a metal rod. All the enemies die on one hit and don't do much other than randomly flying around. The background looks nice, but it doesn't move. Spread Fire suffers from a serious lack of animation. The absence of music and noticeable changes in the levels make it a game you should skip.
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23. BUBBLEGUM ROSIE
"Rosie is looking for her gum, but so are a lot of other gum-starved critters. Help her get her gum back but be careful the critters don't get you first."
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It says Rosie's looking for her gum, yet she spits it out at enemies over and over again. Strangely enough, only two enemies in the entire game can be hurt, the rest must be avoided using broken collision detection. As for the visuals, I'd rather look at Medusa than this garbage. The background is made of a dark blue sky with strange black figures that don't really look like anything. Sometimes there will be red dots in one of the figures. The ground is an ugly mishmash of blue and bubblegum pink. Rosie looks like a poorly animated brat that you'd just love to kick in the stomach. Well the good thing is, a minute into the game, there's a wall you can't really pass. That's it for this poor excuse of a game.
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24. MICRO MIKE
"He's only the size of a flea, and it's difficult getting from here to there when your smaller than a strand of hair. It seems like your in the land of the giants."
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I guess there's always room to set the standards lower in Action 52. Micro Mike is a ridiculously difficult side scrolling shooter. Basically, a number of badly designed walls protrude out of even worse designed surfaces. Mike looks like a airborne fetus, and the enemies don't really make any sense. (One's a pink "T") The screen scrolls at such a fast speed that you don't have any time to react to the walls before getting crushed. Basically, you have to memorize the entire level in order to dodge the obstacles. Even so, one part is completely impossible to complete, so there isn't any point to playing this.
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25. UNDERGROUND
"Tunnel this way and that in order to find the gold. Be careful of the other strange creatures you find here."
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One of the most complete games in Action 52. That doesn't mean it's good though. The music seems polished, but the graphics constantly flicker. The point of this game is to get from point A to point B by using various ladders. You die in on hit and the enemies move at stupidly fast speeds. You're armed with a gun that will vanquish and foes with one shot, but sometimes, there could be up to five of them clustered up on a small platform, moving back and forth and never giving you a chance to finish. Even if you kill your enemies, they respawn so fast, it won't be uncommon to walk through a passage only to die suddenly by a spawning mushroom. It was a good concept, but like the rest of the game, it was plagued by terrible execution. It's possible (and recommended) to shoot through walls to kill enemies that cannot reach you.
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26. ROCKET JOCKEY
"Futuristic cowboy straddles a rocket attempting to lasso various robo-cattle. The lasso gains power as it glows brighter, but gets dimmer and loses power as the bad guys shoot and hit."
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There's a good idea. Create robo-cattle that need to be lassoed instead of just being programmed to do whatever is needed... Wait a minute, robo-cattle? Rocket Jockey is almost as bad in gameplay as it is in plot. You play as a cowboy riding something that looks like a flickering atomic bomb. Occasionally, bad guys show up and shoot you with a megaphone. You're armed with a gun, which kills everything else in one shot. Cattle also fly by, which need be shot or avoided. The background is one shade of red with some ugly splotches that are meant to be rocks. The audio is irritating and poorly made; avoid this game.
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27. NON HUMAN
"They're not human. They have a mind of their own. They are hungry and they want you as their next meal. Get them before they get you."
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In Non Human, you control a Doc Brown lookalike and must navigate him over yellow blocks or else you'll fall into a pit with repeating portraits of some freaky green guy with glasses. Like most other side scrollers, you have a gun that dishes out one hit kills, you can't survive a drop that's more than a few pixels, and you die in one hit from everything. Also like the other side scrollers, this game is ridiculously hard. Everything lacks detail, the sprites will flicker if there's more than one on the screen, and animation is almost nonexistent. Don't play this game.
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28. CRY BABY
"Try to get cry baby back to his crib, but be careful to avoid open electric sockets, poisons, fire in the stove. There are things to help along the way such as cookies, lollipops, candy bars and pacifiers. If the baby meets any bad guys trying to kidnap him he squeezes his bottle and shoots them."
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Another game in the lineage of Illuminator or Chill Out. This has an NES version of the alphabet song, although it's incomplete. Furniture serves the purpose of ladders in this game. Surprisingly, you can take a few hits before you start bawling your eyes out. Apparently a baby's more durable than a grown man with a flashlight. The backgrounds are very simplistic, but everything looks all right. If you feel like squirting milk at kidnappers and your siblings, I guess you could give this a whirl, but it's just another boring rehash.
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29. SLASHERS
"They are everywhere. Mean guys with nails that are nine inch knives and they like to slash everything that comes into their path. Don't get in their way or your the next victim."
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I hope you weren't looking for something violent and dark like a splatter film. This description is amongst the most misleading. Instead, you control some guy on a rooftop fighting either another guy, who flails his arms wildly, or a woman who knees you over and over again. The worst part is you can't move forward at all if they're there, so you're forced to battle these same enemies until you finally inch your way across. Then you get to do it again. You can either kick or punch, but it doesn't really make a difference. Bad graphics and audio makes this game a waste of time and memory.
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30. CRAZY SHUFFLE
"Educational puzzle game. Picture matching with many levels, game and options. Tests memory and concentration skills."
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Nope. Crazy Shuffle is in actuality, a top-down shooter where you play a tiny, orange ball that fires little pellets at tiny, blue balls. The entire map is supposed to be some foresty setting. It looks and sounds like crap, and it's boring. Avoid playing this.
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31. FUZZ POWER
"Fuzzy must get to the land of Guru. He's got to avoid the walking brushes, hair dryers, combs and other natural hair disasters, because if he losses all of his hair he's bald and the game is over."
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Combs are natural hair disasters now huh? Fuzz should be more worried about his feet than his hair. I've seen super deformed, but not like this. It looks like the developers spent some time on Fuzz. When he gets hit, he actually does lose hair, and it's for all of his animations. In fact, if you lose all of his hair, he's completely naked, which is apparently the fabric of moral decay these days. Too bad the game still sucks. Fuzz Power is a side scroller, except instead of shooting something, you roll into them. This was a horrible idea because you're almost always going to get hit in the process. Fuzz Power also suffers from the flickering issues in other games. Even though the music is bearable, you're better off avoiding this one.
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32. SHOOTING GALLERY
"Seven different levels to test shooting skills. Skeet shooting, gallery shooting, target shooting, quick-draw and a final shoot-out with bad guys and all."
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The game starts off with a bad looking, soundless room with assorted animals running around. You can't die, you can't get hurt, and all you really have to do is keep spamming the shoot button. After you shoot enough stuff, the screen goes black and the game stops working. You decide whether you should play this one or not.
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33. LOLLIPOPS
"The chocolate monsters have taken Lolli. You are Johnny Jawbreaker and must try to rescue her."
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Another side scroller. This time you're entrusted with the task of bashing what I'm assuming to be candy with a giant lollipop. Johnny has decent animation, but the backgrounds are completely empty and everything else lacks detail. The music isn't too bad, but like all the other side scrollers, Lollipops suffers from severe clipping issues. Johnny can also attack in midair to suspend himself so he can glide down safely. If you're just itching to play an Action 52 side scroller, I suppose this would be a good choice.
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34. EVIL EMPIRE
"Arabian desert has bad Arabians and genie's. Hasha, the warlord has stolen the great genie. With it he will rule the land, unless you can defeat his evil empire and save the genie."
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Well aside from the background, which uses silhouettes of onion domes, the graphics are downright horrible in Evil Empire, as is the AI. Like every other game, all the enemies do is move back and forth. The audio aspect of this game sucks and this game has no redeeming qualities.
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35. SOMBREROS
"A Chivato (thief) has stolen all of the sombrero's. You must use your pistola, take the law into your own hands and get them back."
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A top-down shooter, but you only get to move around in on third of the entire screen. For some odd reason, you've decided to walk down the middle of a highway to retrieve witch hats from the asphalt. Occasionally, a car will come from the top, and you must take the law into your own hands and shoot the innocent driver. There might be an honest citizen in the side taking a walk or mowing his lawn, you gotta shoot him too. The graphics look good, and everything has a decent amount of animation. The music is bland and unfitting however. It's really quite boring, but I guess this is Action 52's version of Grand Theft Auto.

36. STORM OVER THE DESERT (THE LAND WAR)
"Using your tanks you must avoid the mine fields set by the evil army of Satan Hosain. The evil Satan's army of soldiers will kill you or die trying."
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Well now, the flag at that title screen was most definitely not Iraq's and Satan Hosain is not meant to refer to Saddam. But talking seriously, this game is more broken than most Action 52 titles. It's also one of the few that doesn't have levels. Basically, you control a tank which can shoot a black shell across the field. These shells will kill anything in one hit. Soldiers and tanks both shoot at you, so in actuality, a soldier has the same firepower as a tank, except it's a smaller target. Occasionally, a Sad...Satan will walk across the screen and do nothing. Pointless, even more so than other games found on this cartridge.
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37. MASH MAN
"Your a funny looking dude with a little head and great big feet. You've got to mash everything in sight before they somehow mash you."
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Truly bizarre. Your character actually only has one foot. Basically, nothing really moves, and you just jump over everything. The background consists of stars and blocks made up of four colors. Irritating music and mediocre visuals contribute to this game's exceptionally low quality.
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38. THEY CAME FROM OUTER SPACE
"Try killing all of the green-eyed monsters only to be attacked by their leader."
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No green-eyed monsters in this game. This is just your average two enemy space shooter with bad graphics and annoying music. Oh, and dying results in a blank screen which forces a reset. Do not play.
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39. LAZER LEAGUE
"You're trapped in a warp with only your laser. You must try to stay alive collecting new weapons on the way and avoiding the traps they've set for you, until you can be rescued by the laser-league."
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A side scrolling space shooter. This time, you're a guy with a jetpack fighting little blobs. I'd avoid this game at all costs, simply because there's an incredibly irritating buzzing sound that's always on during this game. It's also way too easy and the graphics are lacking detail and creativity. Even so, it's better than most of the shooters offered because it's not overly cheap and frustrating.
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40. BILLY BOB
"Marylou has disappeared. The bad guys have her, but Billy-bob is stuck in jail and must find his way out from deep within this prison in the desert by traversing all of the levels and rescuing Marylou."
~
Here's the first attempt at trying to stray from being either a vertical shooter, a horizontal shooter, or a side scroller. It was a good attempt. Billy Bob is like a western Prince of Persia. The only difference is that the prince can jump, climb down, and be featured in a game that doesn't suck. There's a high (Action 52 standards) amount of polish that went into this game. Billy animates smoothly, as does everything else. The controls and environment ruined any potential this game had though. Rocks and bamboo constantly fall from the ceiling. It's nothing but a huge annoyance. As huge as it may be, it's nothing compared to the controls. Billy's horizontal jump is so difficult to do, many have considered the 2nd room impossible to pass. Give this game a try, it's almost tragic what Active Enterprises could have done had they distributed resources better.
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41. CITY OF DOOM
"While scaling the city skyscrapers to rid the city of the evil insect plague, you better shoot well and accurately because the fall is a long way down."
~
You play as a shirtless guy climbing the walls of of a skyscraper. Stairs are just too dangerous I suppose. Windows are harmful for some odd reason, and as you scale the wall, insects will come by to harass you. You can shoot in any direction, but the limited area makes it difficult to dodge attacks. Visuals are bland and the music is poor, but it's still one of the better vertical shooters in Action 52.
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42. BITS AND PIECES
"Try to make solid lines out of various sizes and shapes as they float down to the bottom of the screen."
~
Apparently, Bits and Pieces was supposed to be a Tetris clone. Instead, it's a horror themed side scroller. Jumping controls are vastly improved, which raises the question of why other scrollers can't have these controls. Your character is a ghoul who can't attack. You're forced to jump to avoid everything. The backgrounds are detailed and resemble a graveyard quite well. Animations are don't perfectly, but they get the job done. The music is fitting and it's one of the only games that's not too hard or easy. This is probably one of the better side scrollers in the game.
~

43. BEEPS AND BLIPS
"Robots, microscopic and humongous. Here they come. Ready your weapons and fire!"
~
A top-down shooter where you control some weird diamond. You can actually stock health and gain the ability to take up to four hits before dying. Of course, there's neither microscopic nor humongous robots, and the music is irritating. The visuals are mediocre, but Beeps and Blips is still one of the better shooters.
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44. MANCHESTER
"You must try to keep the rhythm but noisy little critters won't let you. Roll the drums and they go away temporarily, but they'll be back."
~
Another sidescroller, this time, you're playing some jerkwad in a green tanktop who needs to jump around musical blocks. Occasionally, a flame will block your path, and you need to glitch yourself through a bottomless pit in order to get the the boss that'll kill you in one hit. Simply not worth playing.
~

45. BOSS
"The Toad is the Mafia boss who uses salamander hit men. They're all out to get you, but you can beat them as long as your partner, Spector keeps a good eye out for those bad guys."
~
You play as a lizard with a gun. If that didn't sound stupid enough, an enormous hand will drop bombs on you from windows and mob reptiles harass you as well. Despite the moronic backstory, the graphics aren't bad and the gameplay is far more refined than earlier sidescrollers. The sound is however, terrible and the music is nonexistent.
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46. DEDANT
"Help the ant protect the ant hill from intruder and protect the queen. Push pebbles to close the hole against intruders, but it's not easy."
~
Another stationary shooter, with no pebbles, no gimmicks, just another shooter. The shots are slow, but the game is a lot less glitchy than most shooters. You're able to warp around the screen. The visuals are simple, as are the sound effects. It's one of the better shooters on the cart.
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47. HAMBO'S ADVENTURE
"Donkey Kong type of game. Try to get Hambo to the top, and watch out for the rolling balls."
~
Hambo's Adventure tries to be a Donkey Kong type game, but fails miserably. Barrels move extremely fast, and sometimes, three or more spawn on a single platform which will block out any chances of you winning. The music is catchy, but the graphics are grainy and unpolished. Brutally difficult, don't play this.
~

48. TIMEWARP TICKERS
"As the Ticker continues, you must stop the hour blasters and jump the time warp to stop the Tickers."
~
Basically, it's a nostalgic trip back in time. You play two fingers walking around and flicking your foes into nothingness. Then "Time?" appears to indicate you've killed something. This is one of the best looking, best sounding games Action 52 has to offer. It also looks and sounds good in comparison to other NES games. Unfortunately, the gameplay suffers, as always. Enemies rush at you, and jumping mechanics suck. If you want to play a game with elements of this time period, I suggest you take a look at BioShock.
~

49. JIGSAW
"Challenging Jig Saw puzzles. Shows you picture then scrambles it and you must put it back together. Finish one and they get more and more difficult."
~
Hell, even the idea of a jig saw puzzle would seem more appealing than the last forty eight games. Too bad, instead, we get a sidescroller where we get to control the Maytag man. Tools have gone out of control and we have to shoot them with a nail gun. Like most other games, Jigsaw is horribly glitched. It won't even run on a regular NES. The enemies constantly disappear, and the graphics are half finished. The only good thing about Jigsaw is the catchy music.
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50. NINJA ASSAULT
"The Master has given you the task to defeat the Zin-Zan evil ninja tribes. Prove you are worthy, defeat the evil tribe while avoiding the Chinese stars and other objects."
~
One of the more polished side scrollers on Action 52. You play a ninja who dual-wields clubs. Enemies shout battle cries, your ninja character flips with jumps and the music fits the mood. If you've got to play a side scroller in Action 52, consider this.
~

51. ROBBIE AND THE ROBOTS
"Robbie must lead his good robots against his evil brother Brainy. But Brainy has his own robots and it's not going to be easy."
~
You play a fat, greasy nerd with a ray gun. The controls are horrible, but you can get through most of the first level by dashing forward and spamming the fire button. It becomes far more difficult due to bad game design. Bad in practically every aspect. Avoid this.
~

52. THE "ACTION GAMEMASTER" (CHEETAHMEN)
"Boy gets dragged into the TV while playing video game, changes character into one of three 'CHEETAHMEN' and must fight off all of the bad guy from the previous 51 games."
~
This is it, the single greatest concentration of effort from Active Enterprises. Obviously the flagship title of the whole game and the main focus of Action 52. The "Action Gamemaster", or "Cheetahmen" is by far, the most polished, most complete game of all fifty two. Cheetahmen features six levels, each cheetahman plays two. Two of the cheetahmen play exactly alike. The last one and a half levels are finished through Apollo, and the bad hit detection of his crossbow dooms him. It also features a secret area, cutscenes, and an actual in game storyline. (Albeit horribly stupid and weird). Unfortunately, Cheetahmen is too, incomplete. The bosses are insanely tough, and the game has no end. If you have to play one game in Action 52, play this one.
~

Overall, Action 52 is split between three main gameplay types: scrolling shooters, side scrollers, and stationary battles. Because of this, Action 52 becomes repetitive and boring. Action 52 also lacks good quality in presentation values because of the resources spent over fifty two games. All fifty two games are either ridiculously difficult, easy, or just plain don't work. It's worth noting that there is not a single complete game. By looking at the descriptions in the games, it's easy to see that Active Enterprises was, like Julius Caesar, obviously was too ambitious for its own good. It's sad that Active Enterprises chose to take this approach, had they pooled their resources into a single project, they may have created a masterpiece... or something worth playing... Nah, Cheetahmen 2 managed to reach outstandingly low quality as well.

Reviewer's Score: 3/10, Originally Posted: 08/31/07, Updated 11/15/07

Game Release: Action 52 (US, 1991)