The Addams Family

"If this game were a food, it would be that bowl of cereal that's been under my bed for six months."

That's it. I've given up hope on movie-based video games. This, Home Alone, and Total Recall all in one day are just too much. I wonder if any brilliant producer at THQ or Mindscape hopes to make an American Beauty game for the Dreamcast.

More or less, this game consists of Gomez Addams running around aimlessly, getting attacked and killed by enemies ranging from animals to unfriendly humans to bricks that pop out of the wall in an attempt to steal money from you. It seems some manic programmer made it his mission to have every conceivable household object injure you somehow. What other game makes you avoid ambulatory bars of soap?

Let's just leave the plot at ''kidnappers demand a million dollars in return for Gomez's family''. That's right, an important goal in the world of the Addams is collecting every bill and coin in sight, which pop up in the most logical places, like the freezer or the bottom of the river. Jesus, why not just check the couch? This means you need to explore every single area if you hope to meet this requirement. Funny thing is, I've won the game with less than eight hundred grand.

The graphics in this game look like some kid painted them with watercolors. Everything seems kind of dull and bland. Good luck deciphering what the enemies and items are supposed to be (for instance, the snorkel resembles a pair of glasses). The funniest thing by far is the portrait of each family member you see after rescuing them. Whoa... is that Christina Ricci? Looks like she's had better days. I think Grandma could also put in some heavy time in the bathroom.

Listen to your CD player extremely loud while you play this game, and maybe you'll have an easier time forgetting the horrendous sounds you're subjected to. The music here is so bad it makes Junior playing his toy saxophone sound pretty decent. The sound effects (and I use that term very loosely) are simply beeps and pops of varied pitch and tone. The sound when you get hit (which you will be hearing A LOT) is quite possibly the most irritating noise in video game history. It sounds like a slide whistle stuffed with cotton.

While it's passable at best, the control isn't a big problem. All Gomez can do is jump, really, so you're a bit limited. In some areas, like the swimming section, the control is just plain horrible, no matter how skilled you are. The thing is, it doesn't matter how bad the movement sucks: the game is just too damn hard. You're not going to beat this game. Give it up.

If you're an experienced action gamer, you could have some fun with this (maybe), but I wouldn't count on it. Don't pick this up for any more than a dollar. Even then, try to negotiate.

Reviewer's Score: 5/10, Originally Posted: 01/24/01, Updated 02/22/01