Captain Planet and the Planeteers

"All ethnic stereotypes come together to save the planet."

Last week I was wandering, as I often do, through my local Funcoland's many used NES games. Searching for the obscure, the weird, and the unique, I often sit on the carpeted floor for hours as a time, sifting through Mario rehash over Mario rehash; only twice have I found games that fit my very discriminating tastes, and the likes of these great titles (Yo! Noid, and Captain Comic) were of an obscurity that I thought that I'd never experience again.

Like most things in life, I was wrong. That fateful Friday at the used video game store was a date that was to be remembered for years to come; this was the day that, despite my natural human urges to avoid games that cost less than a dollar, I became re-aquatinted with one of my favorite cartoon superheroes. Captain Planet was really my only friend during the more awkward years of my life, and, even when no one else was on my side, Captain Planet saw through my garish scars and lack of eyebrows, and was always waiting for me as soon as I got home from grade school.

I could always count on Captain Planet in the past, and I hoped that he wouldn't let me down with his video game. Sadly... well... he let me down.

Gameplay: 8: After a few tries, and a couple of good cleanings, I finally got this little babe to work; it was most definitely worth the wait and the effort. The levels in the game flip-flop; half of them are side scrolling, vehicular based adventures (i.e. soaring through the air in the bright yellow Planeteer Jet, slipping through the ocean in Captain Planet's own deep submersible, shooting at enemy logging trucks in your snazzy, yellow helicopter), while the other half let you play as Captain P., flying through polluted areas, cleaning up the mess that the villains of Mother Earth have cooked up.

In all of the stages, the powers of the Planeteers are at your disposal (Earth(!), Wind(!), Fire(!), Water(!), and, inexplicably, Heart(!)) but their uses differ depending on the level. When in the vehicle mode, they serve as different projectiles, while, in Captain Planet mode, they allow you to transform into the different elements, letting you pass certain obstacles (turning into wind lets you pass through grates, stone lets you crush path-blocking blocks, etc.)

Visuals: 9: The graphics are colorful, and the characters really represent who they are supposed to look like. The animation is very nice, and, even though there as slowdown in some of the more hectic portions, the faults were forgivable enough to allow me to continue playing without stall. The most impressive graphical thing, though, is the beautifully crafted ''Captain Planet'' insignia displayed on the title screen. It looks exactly as it did on the cartoon; honestly, this is one of the most impressive looking games of the 8-bit generation.

Also, I've never seen a blue-skinned character represented so accurately on an NES, and I probably never will. Kudos for outdoing ''Milon's Secret Castle.'' Extra points.

Audio: 4: This is truly the ''downfallest'' of the downfalls of ''Captain Planet.'' The sound effects don't really sound like what they're supposed to sound like; the fire sounds like water, the water sounds like wind, and the wind sounds like - oh, how do I say - ass. Even more disturbing, the developers didn't even get the most important sound right; Captain Planet's trademark 'punch' has barely any sound backing it up.

Also, in a *hugely* tragic move, Mindscape forgot three of the most basic audio necessities of any Captain Planet product: the theme song, the catch phrase ''The Power Is Yours!'', and, sadly, Captain Planet's appearance should have been greeted with his mighty words (''With your powers combined, I am Captain Planet), and not by the tiny beeps in this game. All three of these obvious audio needs are suspiciously missing, and, to be honest, I'd even consider trading in the superb and varied gameplay for just ONE sample of Planeteer nostalgia.

The Overall Feel, Style, and Comfort: 7: The gameplay of Captain Planet is a very simple, but deceptively addictive, affair, but varies depending on which level you play. In the vehicle modes, you shoot down big bad stuff from your vehicles, but, while playing as Captain planet, you shoot down little bad things from your own body. I hope I've cleared things up.

The controls are simple but effective. ''A'' is shoot, and ''B'' is either a 180-degree turn around, or a transformation, depending on the mode you're in. Nothing revolutionary, but it works.

Story: 5: While not the best story in the world, it works. It consists of that pig-looking guy (remember him?) and his escapades through the oil business. You're trying to stop him from the evil, evil deeds that he wants to accomplish; apparently he wants to drill for oil in... our national parks; the similarities to George ''Dubya'' Bush don't end there. The guy has big pointy ears, a speech impediment, and WAY too much power. The people at Mindscape are prophets, I tell you!

Replay: 6: If you're anything like me, you enjoy pulling out your NES every couple of weekends in an attempt to relive the happiness of childhood, and, in the future, ''Captain Planet'' will surely be a part of that action. The save system is in password mode, which is a big lifesaver; now, if I ever want to shoot down a logging truck from a helicopter, I need not play through any other levels, just enter the level's password. Needless to say, I'll be playing this for a while, even if it's just to show my friends the majesty of the game's visuals.

Potato Judgement Call: 6: On a scale of potato dishes (potato salad being the lowest, curly fries being the highest, and Arby's potato cakes being average), this game receives a pile of high-school cafeteria french fries; it's just barely above average.

Rent or Buy: Buy: You'll never see this game at a price higher than three dollars, and it's definitely worth that price.

Remember; The power is yours!!!

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 07/16/01, Updated 07/17/01