Tag Team Wrestling

"Give me Deadly Towers, Hydlide, Heroes of the Lance, but not this!"

Ding! Ding! Ding! The amazingly heroic, dark-haired hero-type draws near the evil, bad, ungood, unholy masked wrestler. The good guy prepares to punch him and - What the heck!?! The baddie just turned *RED* and nothing hurts him! And now he's getting free licks on my character! That's no good way for me to start playing a game!

Oh well. I didn't really like the look of the ring from the start of this. Why would I want to work for a company with a blinding green ring, anyway? The fans should avert their eyes from this design-carnage! I think I'm trapped in the Land of Unwatchable Wrestling... *dum dum dum!* This is bad. Very bad. And it's not like they make up for it with their movelist this time...

Graphics: 2/10 This is REALLY bad. The characters are incredibly uninspired, and you seem to fight the same two guys over and over again wearing different colors each time. What a joke. OK, the animation when the characters are moving towards each other is kind of smooth, but then you do an attack. Let's pick B.DROP, because that's obviously the back drop. You pick them up by the neck, jump six feet in the air, and land on them. And, by the way, those are the three frames of animation, stretching over at least a full second, with no motion whatsoever in between. I don't think that's a back drop. Let's try another move, shall we? Oooh, B.ATAC. Sounds promising. OK, I whip him into the ropes, start running, and... huh?! I stepped on his foot and he fell out of the ring! I repeat. I stepped on his footand he fell out of the ring! Wow, there's logical error rolled up into a ridiculous animation. And what's more, I just described to you one-fourth of my movelist.

Sound: 1/10 ''WHEEEP! Dum DUMMM, DUM DUMMM!! WHEEEEEEP! DING! WHA-PING! RINGINGINGING!'' says Tag-Team Pro Wrestling. ''Make it stop, please, I say, I don't care that this is a review, I wanna hit Mute! Please!'' I say.

Storyline: x/10 I don't have to explain this one, do I? You're a psychotic, obsessive-compulsive schitzophrenic who beats up the same exact two guys 50 times in order to win a bunch of titles that sounds more like an exotic vacation plan than official belts. If that were the ''official'' story I'd give them an 8 for creativity.

Gameplay and Controls: 1/10 Unforgivable! I don't think I've ever played a worse concept. I'd play a whole quarter-hour of Deadly Towers to avoid playing this! OK, you run around trying to punch someone by pressing the ''A'' button. If you succeed, you then have three seconds to select a move from a menu (a MENU!?) However, you are somewhat unlikely to succeed. Why? Because your opponent is inevitably a hyperactive crack-addict who continually punches so if he comes near you, you'll hit him. And if you don't hit him within roughly one millionth of a second, he turns red and will automatically hit you instead, which is probably the SINGLE WORST idea for a game in history.

Fun Factor: 1/10 It is absolutely not fun watching your opponent turn red and hit you. It is absolutely not fun hitting ''A'' a million times just for you to get hit by an opponent that turns red suddenly and hits you. It is absolutely not fun to play this game in a two-player format, since one player will inevitably throw down the controller, turn off your NES, grab the game, and feed it to an alligator. And it is not fun to call pet control about a choking alligator. This game has all the blocks covered to get a ''1.''

Challenge: 10/10 It is a challenge to win many matches without your opponents randomly turning red and killing you. It is a challenge to play this game for fifty consecutive rounds without feeding the cartridge to the nearest grinning reptile. But it's not a good challenge. It's a Deadly Towers kind of challenge.

Overall: 1/10 Ouch, I gave this game a ''1'' and this, so far, is its only review. That's straight ones, lower than the scores for Action 52, Deadly Towers, and even the famed Heroes of the Lance! Does that tell you guys something? I think it ought to!

Final Thoughts I really don't know if I wanna waste any thoughts on this game. I have noticed that all of my reviews to date begin on ''Ding! Ding! Ding!'' I guess the bells catch people's attention. Wait, I gotta bring up that the two tag teams are named the ''RICKY FIGHTERS'' and the ''STRONG BADS.'' If those names make sense to you, I suggest that you find a more ventilated area to play your games. Hey, speaking of ventilation, I just realized that all my reviews to date end with me - *passes out*

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 07/19/01, Updated 07/19/01