Tecmo Super Bowl

"NO BRENT FARVE!!?!?? Th1s gaM3 r33x0rz a//d 5t|nx0rz!!!! u"

There's a reason the GameFAQs Tecmo Super Bowl board is bumpin' even if its FAQs are not quite in the top ten list. The TSB Board denizens are too busy playing the game or woofing about their accomplishments to consult the excellent analysis. You have such a wide variety of games, and it's easy enough to get started. The action is fast-paced, and the games are relatively quick, with five fast minutes per quarter. The cartridge simulates NFL-style plays well especially considering the game was made in Japan, and many of the unrealistic features and player abilities probably belong in a book of mythology somewhere, so that's all right.

In TSB you can play a preseason game even in the middle of a season and can play with all NFL teams from '91. While the computer follows the '91 schedule, you can match up with the computer in preseason as you please. So even when you can win the Super Bowl with the San Francisco 49ers, there is still the challenge of beating them with the Colts.

GOOD PROGRAMMERS, GOOD RESEARCHERS, LOUSY PSYCHICS

As you can see from my tagline, the quarterback that would have been ideal for such an exciting yet occasionally erratic game was not put in. I'm being a bit unfair as he was only a rookie at the time, and instead the Falcons have Chris Miller and Hugh Millen as the QB's--factual but dull. Fortunately the dull bit is the larger part of the anomaly, and the inaccurate but flashy stuff(for instance, due to copyrights, Randall Cunningham is known as QB EAGLES) helps TSB to stand out. Overall the game was well-researched. There's only one minor slip(''PUNT KICK'') and the players appear accurate and memorable. My first game, with the Kansas City Chiefs, confirmed this. Armed with the knowledge from the FAQs and the gaming board, I was ready to whip a lousy team with a good one. Barry Word! Christian Okoye, the Nigerian Nightmare! The Tampa Bay Yuck-, err, Buccaneers, in their pre-late-nineties white-and-orange uniforms, stood no chance against my powerful rushing attack.

I'm even impressed with the research done on the various teams; although it wasn't tough to look at a schedule and get the names right, the teams actually have plays appropriate to their styles. Even though each one has four passing and four running plays(A/B combined with four directions) the plays seem well geared to the specific teams. For instance, the pass-happy Houston Oilers tend to send everyone on pass routes, and the Philadelphia Eagles tend to use the wonderfully mobile Rand--err, QB EAGLES in rushing plays.

If it could have butchered any facts I would have hoped for it to add the more exciting two-point conversions to the game. While it's nice to be able to force the computer to miss critical extra point kicks, a game as full of adrenaline as TSB could probably have used poetic license well enough to implement successfully the conversions reinstated a few years later.

So what's in a TSB season? Players get banged up as the weeks go by, decreasing physical condition and effectiveness. This heightens the risk of being for a few weeks, leaving you to hope for the pre-game announcement that they are returning, replete with tiny nurses waving to the player running out of a hospital. You can also push through computer-controlled games quickly, even seeing a whole week's worth of scores in a minute before your next game. The NES saves all the season information after each game is finished, and it notes all the big individual stats--rushing and passing, sacks, interceptions, return yardage and punts. It even logs team offense and defense. With practice you should be able to find one you can dominate--my punter had an average of seventy yards but only got five tries. Sadly one thing it does not do is keep track of negative total rushing yards.

Even better, it doesn't even penalize you if, after it jumps to that quick three-touchdown lead, and you just happen to trip over the power cord as you head to the freezer for ice cream to relieve your depression--''I was so out of it, I just didn't look where I was going. I'm sorry.'' It understands. This is often better than the real thing, especially if your favorite team really stinks.

ALL THE FUN OF A GAME OF FOOTBALL IN THE TIME IT WOULD TAKE TO SUIT UP

Getting started is pretty easy. The A/B button-controlled menu gives you a clear view of teams to pick, and I've mentioned the choices of offensive plays. On defense you try to guess which of the offensive plays shown will be run, and you are given time to hit the A/B button to decide the defender to use. Then most of the time you will need to rush the quarterback, but even if the opposing ball-carrier breaks into the open, you are the fastest player on the field. The buttons allow you to jump to deflect a pass or dive at a ball-carrier as well. Offense is a bit more complex; after you choose a play, your players may make predetermined motions determined by your choice, and then you are on your own. A runner can try to change the play's direction or break tackles(yet another enjoyable excursion in button-bashing) at the risk of fumbling, but a quarterback uses the B/A keys to find a receiver and throw the ball, or alternately he can chug down the field which works well if a deep route is called. Sometimes the receiver will be off the screen, which is annoying, but if you develop quick field vision as a good QB should, you should be able to figure if anyone is open.

One game of TSB football has more melodrama than the XFL could ever have hoped for. There are of course measurements for first down, and better yet, the game allows late hits aplenty with no penalties. Field goal attempts often bounce straight off wobbly uprights, leaving doubt until the last moment--bad physics, good excitement. If you choose the right team, your linebacker can tackle the kicker on extra points or field goals. Defensive backs leave receivers wide open, although entirely different ones(guarding receivers of their own, no less) can jump thirty feet in the air to deflect a sure touchdown--about as far as linemen get knocked back randomly. The computer often lets a quarterback's offensive line lie down for kicks, there are broken tackles aplenty, and you may also find ways to weave two hundred yards to gain fifty. With a good defense and some luck, you can score more safeties in a game than most teams score in a year. Even potential graphical messes such as fumbles(it's never clear who winds up with the ball or why, but it's funny to watch people chase a ball that's clearly slipped out of bounds) and two people seeming to catch the ball turn out exciting.

Overall a more aggressive strategy is desirable, but it doesn't get out of hand. For instance, it's often a good idea to go for a first down on fourth and three(even near the goal line-safeties are abundant,) and blitzing is better than trying to cover three wide-open receivers with one defender. No three yards and a cloud of dust business here. You can also use time management as the offense can run down ten seconds deciding a play, even eating up an entire quarter with one drive, as it may not be strategic to chuck the ball down the field against high-powered offensive teams. One memory I particularly savor is a drive that I started down 12-7 with four minutes left to score a touchdown with seconds left against the Denver Broncos.


I have two gripes: first, although you get time outs, you cannot slow the clock down or change the time per quarter even in exhibition. A long touchdown taking a minute is a bit over the top. More seriously, the kicking game, which should be a minor detail, is pretty broken. While it's cool that fifty-plus yard field goals are easier than you'd expect and onside kicks bounce almost randomly, punts and kickoffs(where the clock shouldn't start until the ball is handled) hanging in the air can take thirty seconds off the clock before they're received. And then you can only call for a touchback on punts, which I found to my chagrin. This bizarre delay tends to stand out as the rest of the game moves so smoothly.

AI: MORE THAN JUST LINEMEN READING CUE CARDS

The computer does a great job of controlling the ten players you can't.

You have many different levels of difficulty for any one game due to the various team choices. Also, in a season, the computer seems to adjust its skill to yours after two weeks. The result can be bizarre; often it makes your players slower or dumber, and if that doesn't work, you'll suffer an inopportune fumble. However, predictable computer play calling, especially if you get an early lead, can even things out a bit. And using the same guy for each defensive play over a season has especially horrendous results for you, most notably that your defensive backs wind up leaving five opposing receivers wide open. It's not easy to provide a parallel for overworking a running back, but this is a bit harsh and obvious. And it's not as funny as the marauding, super-fast punters who are first down the field.

The AI does have its outright faults; the computer, down 13 with time running out, will kick a field goal but at least it goes for the onside kick. It also seems to run predictable trick plays when down late, and since you can see its playbook you can often be waiting for a receiver on a triple reverse. The computer's penchant for not punting on fourth down, however, provides a wonderful opportunity for something you can't do in real life: run up the score somethin' heinous. Things are a bit more painful when your defenders first flop all around a zigzagging computer running back before chasing him and timing their dives miserably. Gee, at least the AI is only half shot there!

The graphics make a good first impression, with the helmets of various size and cute shambling people running around and getting knocked five yards back in a somersault by blockers and such. And the halftime shows--ah yes. They're determined at random, and even if the cheerleaders aren't total hotties, they are not as bad as the upright electric plug looking things that jump on the sidelines, you will probably be lucky and get the college band(oops,) blimp, parachutist, balloons, or people doing the wave instead. If you make it to the Super Bowl you will even get a special corporate-sponsored shill for a future game. There are of course celebrations with players jumping up and down after quarterback sacks or touchdowns, and although they get a bit tedious(you can't even button-bash to make the screen fade early as you can in other scenes, and the ''big celebrations'' for division winners take more time) it is funny to see a defensive lineman who's about 270 pounds in real life with the opposite six-pack abs of what you'd expect jumping around after a sack. Unfortunately beyond colors there is no team-specific detail; it would have been pushing the NES's capabilities, but seeing Packer fans with cheeseheads, the Cleveland ''Dawg Pound,'' generally nutty Raiders fans or even close-ups of fans wearing bags over their heads in a blowout would have been awesome.

The team jersey colors are overall a bit light, rendering the Chiefs' uniforms an appalling pink as their worst crime, and there is probably an excess of red, white and blue themed lining(i.e. when you get a first down or around the scoreboard) which overall shouts ''This is AMURIKAN football where we're not afraid to use our hands to bash our 'ponents, if any durned pinko Yuripeun sissies're lissenin'!'' However, they do give alternate uniforms for road and home games, a nice touch. I also like that they keep accurate track of players' races; this is not a huge thing, but it's a first step toward the sort of impressive graphic realism. Not that it's all the way there; be sure to enjoy their mug shots as you view their stats.

HOOT! HOOT!

The sound? Slammin'. Not only does this game inspire you to add to the sound with taunts of your own(I prefer a take-off of the anchors for ESPN's NFL PrimeTime,) but it has tunes for every situation. The regular season and playoffs have separate pairs of tunes depending on who has the ball. There's a weepy little tune when a player gets injured. You'll have to whistle tunes like ''Hail to the Redskins'' or ''Bear Down Chicago Bears'' yourself, but you name the general situation, they've got something new. You've even got voice acting, with some vowels goofed(''HUT'' becomes ''HOOT!'')

A sign you're playing a good game is when you find yourself suggesting improvements instead of whining for them, and I always seem to come up with fun suggestions for TSB. The '91 season is recreated quite well, and the unrealism leans toward excitement. I don't usually have the patience for a full-season affair(an Apple hockey game with a four-game season was the only one worth replaying excessively ''back in the day,'') but I do enjoy the nostalgia and action that a session of Tecmo Super Bowl affords when I can find the time; once I start a season I wind up playing at least halfway(three hours) in a sitting. And there will indeed be more seasons, as there are still things to be tried. Though I've been able to win the Super Bowl playing conservative and aggressive ball(netting myself last and first in total offense,) there are aspects of the game I still can't coach particularly well. But maybe one day I'll be good enough to win the Super Bowl as my beloved Packers. Yeah, we were pretty rotten before Brett Favre, almost as bad as the Yuckaneers.

WAVIN' THAT BIG FOAM (INDEX) FINGER!!!!

--quick starting and fast paced
--great memories of players for long-time NFL fans
--whatever skill level you want
--seasons have lots of stats
--panning through other games feels like watching a highlight show
--funny halftime scenes
--easy to decide which team you want

WEARIN' A PAPER BAG ON YOUR HEAD

--the computer overdoes the balance-of-talent bit some time
--lots of game time wasted on kicking plays
--I always forget which button passes and which button changes the receiver
--some cut-scenes are repetitive and can't be skipped
--one team-specific scene per franchise woulda ROCKED

BONUS HELPFUL NON-SPOILER:

If you win the Super Bowl, do NOT give the cartridge, in the absence of people, a Gatorade shower. Even ''spiking'' it in a similar fit of euphoria may be regretted in short order, unless you are worried that some day down the road the game will yet again suck up your free time. Even so such a careless act would still be a crime against art in general, and anyone thoughtless enough to commit this atrocity in the name of free time would probably be devious enough to download the ROM from the internet anyway.

Reviewer's Score: 10/10, Originally Posted: 01/14/02, Updated 01/14/02