Action 52

"52 things wrong with society"

Never before have I played something as horribly rotten as this poor excuse of a game. No, wait, this game is special. There's 52 GAMES! WOW! Well, just because most of them are either shooters or platforms with laughable controls doesn't mean it is really 52 games. But anyway, this feeble attempt at entertainment is glitch-riddled, bastardly design, and some of the stupidest game ideas I have ever seen. My disgust for this game will never die. Barely any of them have a story! And now I shall start this review.

Intro
I'm greeted with LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION 52! with some beautiful camera and light pictures! And a portrait of a Cheetah Man! This is one opening that just gets me pumped up! Then I hear the voice that tells me to ''Make your selection, NOW!'' It's fuzzy, and I come to the menu, ready to tackle the 52 games
Score: 8/10
01. FIREBREATHER A poor start
This game has you and a friend playing as dragons in an overhead shot firing blue things at each other, in the hopes that one will die. The sound is basically one beep, you shooting. Not only is the landscape and dragons drab, but the game has no obstacles, and all 8 levels are pretty much the same. Oh, there's that wall in level 8, and sometimes the deadly multi-colored ball comes around and deals some damage, but otherwise this is a pretty bad start.
Score: 2/10
02. STAREVIL Death comes immediately
The first in a series of shooters with no ounce of fun! Right at the start you will die unless you turn right, something that'll catch everyone off guard. So there's one life gone. The enemies are easily avoided, but what's this? No touching of walls or life gone again! And maneuvering through twisted space hallways is NOT fun, no matter how many times you say it. If you must know, graphics are crappy and sound is crappy. There, happy?
Score: 1/10
03. ILLUMINATOR The darkness ruins all hope
One of the worst in this pack. Playing as a little boy with shooting powers (many people in the 52 games have shooting powers. Strange eh?), you must vanquish the zombies! Playing on a four-floor level, there is one catch! The lights will go off and you won't be able to see anything except the ladders! So this means any zombie can just sneak up on you and kill you! Someone hasn't being doing their homework...
Score: 0/10
04. G-FORCE FIGHTER Damn this shooter!
Another shooter with no sense of purpose! Side-scroller moving very fast with enemies popping way out of place so it's very hard to shoot them. And touching the top or bottom is instant death, so beware! And if you must know, your ship is pink. Case closed.
Score: 1/10
05. OOZE This game is just oozing of horrible controls
A platform game staring your favorite green-haired moron! In a world full of evil ooze, one man must SHOOT these monsters and save humanity! But not while his jumps only let him go up, not forward, and the game treats you with jumps, most uncrossable. So in other words, Action 52 has set the mood: NIGHTMARISH
Score: 1/10
06. SILVER SWORD Zelda clone with no dignity
Play as a valiant warrior set up against clumsy enemies in an overhead view of green? OF COURSE I WILL! Actually, this is the best one so far (not saying much.) Shooting swords at enemies moving 10 times faster than you still can't be considered an actual game, but hey, beats Illuminator *shudders*
Score: 2/10
07. CRITICAL BYPASS Critical to bypass this game
Another shooter? Well, you play as a circle that shoots in the direction it's facing. But you can't tell which way that is. Rocks threaten you, and so does the gray background, which is painful to the eyes. My hate for Action 52 increases several notches
Score: 1/10
08. JUPITER SCOPE *yawns* So boring...
Play as a ship and shoot fireballs coming at you? Sounds fun for about one minute, then monotony kicks in, and you start to fall asleep. The black background just aids the sleepiness. Eventually you won't care and want to go on to the next game. Which brings up an important point: YOU CAN'T EXIT A GAME MANUALLY! YOU MUST EITHER DIE OR RESET! This is a HUGE flaw (this whole game is a HUGE flaw, but you get the idea.)
Score: 2/10
09. ALFREDO God came and saved my soul
Well this game just doesn't want to load. It's too embarrassed. I classify this as ''Act of God'' Well, now I have to reset. Grrrrr.
Score: 0/10
10. OPERATION MOON Poorest hit detection in the galaxy!
As a land rover on the moon, you have to shoot them cannons before they shoot you! Too bad you can die from driving next to the blocks. Really, nothing much to say here except: CRAP!!!
Score: 1/10
11. DAM BUSTERS What the hell are those things?
Playing as a beaver, you have to use your SHOOTING powers to vanquish the evil... evil... well, I have no actual idea what they are, but they must be evil, because they are shooting you! Good luck, and hope that you won't be on the narrow bridge when they fire!
Score: 1/10
12. THRUSTERS Another sad shooter
Your ship is some orange thingy, the enemies are green bunnies, and blue squares are there to kill you! Once again, the enemies are not threatening AT ALL. Only them blocks that clutter up the screen are a menace. Action 52 is now on my ''Things to Destroy'' list
Score: 1/10
13. HAUNTED HILL Big bosom does not equal success
Yes, we have a female character. An attempt for sex appeal? Nope, because the graphics are pitiful either way. The Ooze controls return, but much more fluid. But those ghosts!! You have to jump and shoot these guys, but only when they're an inch away from your face. This way, they are low enough to target. Pathetic.
Score: 2/10
14. CHILL OUT Death is easier than Mario is Missing
As some Eskimo, you must kill fellow Eskimos with your powerful snowballs of doom! Unfortunately, Ooze controls plague what could be of this game, and even worse, falling in between platforms kills you. What a weak Eskimo! But the worst part is that you can just run across gaps! A terrible glitch involving standing right below platforms is in effect. My sanity is heading down the drain.
Score: 1/10
15. SHARKS Where are all the sharks?
As a scuba diver with SHOOTING powers, you must kill the sharks in the water. But it takes 5 minutes before any sharks appear! And guess what? About 2 appear on screen at a time! Is this fun, or just boring? Um, I'll go with boring.
Score: 1/10
16. MEGALONIA Be gone vile shooter!
Such a basic game. This is almost identical to game 04. only touching the bottom or top is actually okay! *sighs* I guess this beats the other one. Please kill me.
Score: 1/10
17. FRENCH BAKER An insult to the french
Oh that kooky baker! Always getting into trouble with cabinets and envelopes! But really, what does that have to do with bakers? Or the French, for that matter. I mean, the game was okay, until I died from hitting an INVISIBLE ENEMY! Or I just fell too far. Game still sucks though.
Score: 1/10
18. ATHOS QUAKE Another shooter from hell!
As a gray triangular ship, you have more extending blue walls and purple things in your way. The enemies once again play no factor, because they come at you right behind walls. AND THEY FLY OVER THEM! This can only lead to stupidity, but wait! There's more! The levels constantly repeats itself! So if the shabby gameplay wasn't enough to drive you away, the repetitive nature sure will!
Score: 2/10

And that's part one...
This is just icing on the vile cake. We've got 2 more parts to cover! So let's continue, shall we?

19. MEONG This game makes absolutely no sense
I have no idea what Meong is about, nor do I have any intention of finding out. Some wizard guy walking through squares, eventually dying? This not what game makes!
Score: 0/10
20. SPACE DREAMS And now a game for the little kids
Another shooter, but this time there's a new twist!! You play as a pacifier! Yes, that's right. A PACIFIER! Of all the stupid ideas... And you have to shoot teddy bears and other generally happy enemies. But anger is all that'll be playing on your face as you experience one of the easiest games in this pack
Score: 2/10
21. STREEMERZ Clowns should stay 50 feet away from this game
As a clown, you have no jumping abilities. But you have ''Streemerz''. And you use these to advance up a platform. But beware, because there are ugly people that'll cause some damage, even though you won't be able to tell! Death is just a transformation in a green face with a frown. And moneybags are painful. Need I say more?
Score: 1/10
22. SPREAD FIRE Not-so-crappy
Yeah, so sue me, I found some enjoyment in this game. Yes, another shooter, but it has a good difficulty level. Yes, the enemies are horribly designed, but who cares? I had a bit of fun. It just gets boring rather fast. This game gets the highest rating anything spawning from this game will get.
Score: 4/10
23. BUBBLEGUM ROSSIE/ROSY ...
Play as an innocent little girl on some strange planet. She has the power to shoot bubblegum bubbles (duh) but this power serves to be useless. So does the Ooze control, and the whole idea of the game. NEXT!
Score: 0/10
24. MICRO MIKE Woah, slow down Mike!
Mike is some tan boy/creature whatever, and he's in a world of purple walls and green floors, or something. It was going too fast for me to tell. Yes, Micro Mike involves moving so fast, you just can't avoid a collision. Action 52 is looking rather tasty right now.
Score: 0/10
25. UNDERGROUND Such botched hope
Underground had the makings of being at least mediocre. But there are some simple mistakes that ruin the entire game. For instance, the mushrooms are deadly to the touch. This is a minor problem, easily passed, but the killer is this: In this one little spot, 3 enemies run back and forth. This means it takes pure luck to kill all three. And that is how to ruin a game that had some hope of resembling ''fun''
Score: 3/10
26. ROCKET JOCK Simply horrible
Some guy with a lasso on a missile, with enemies crashing into him every 5 seconds. Utter madness, utter crap. Nothing much to say here, just another failed shooter
Score: 1/10
27. NON HUMAN The creator of this game must be non human
Play as this... thing that must use Ooze controls to jump across gaps. The floor has pictures of a screaming head, which is scary enough. But the control is god-awful, and I can't get past the first screen. Screw it, let's see wait other horrors await in the next game.
Score: 0/10
28. CRY BABY Geez, what a cry baby
Play as a baby, squirt milk that goes 2 feet in front of you at evil guys with derbies and something I just can't describe. You can climb dressers, but falling down several inches makes the baby cry, and you lose a life. Action 52 is now underneath a nuke.
Score: 1/10
29. SLASHERS A shoddy attempt at a beat-em up
On the ceiling of some building, you must fight some guys and gals. You can only punch and kick, and kicking is absolutely useless. So all you can do is constantly punch. More monotony to anger the soul. But there is a way to even avoid fighting some of these guys! You just have to use this one rule: They never go backwards. *shakes head*
Score: 2/10
30. CRAZY SHUFFLE I can't see where I am
You are a tiny dot shooting other tiny dots with tiny shots. Not only can this cause vision problems from squinting in an attempt to see your guy, but the shots barely connect! Oh yeah, and hitting one of the many walls means death too. Save me Jebus!
Score: 1/10
31. FUZZ POWER Stop with the stupid ideas already!
Another platformer with Ooze controls, you take the role of some guy covered in gray hair, fuzz if you will. And blow dryers threaten to remove all of your hair, resulting in death! There seems to be no way to avoid the dryers, and jumping is unnecessary (just roll.) Another pitiful game.
Score: 1/10
32. SHOOTING GALLERY No no no no no no!
You can't die, you can't move up and down, you can only shoot frogs and ducks and horses. This is just insane. There's no enjoyment in this! And you know what else? The game blacks out after a bit! This means you must restart AGAIN! ARGH! Action 52 is lying in front of my steamroller.
Score: 1/10
33. LOLLIPOP Ph33r my lollipop
Playing some Robin Hood wannabe, you must crush unidentifiable enemies with your green lollipop. The simplicity and easiness of the whole game is sickening. Some enemies are high up in places you don't even have to go! Someone shoot me now.
Score: 2/10
34. Evil Empire What this game has to do with an empire I will never know
Okay, as a small blue guy, you have no possible way of shooting anyone else, because you'll just die if you fall too far, an occurrence that happens way too often. Just skip this one.
Score: 0/10
35. SOMBREROS Mexican stereotype has now been violated
I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. There are some other Mexicans wearing sombreros, but they don't attack. I have to walk in the street, where cars almost hit me, but I can destroy them with my SHOOTING powers. And I also collect hats which appear to serve no purpose. In Level 2, I get stuck between some bushes. I reset. I am on the verge of smashing this game with a mallet.
Score: 1/10
36. STORM OVER DESERT This is even an insult to Saddam Hussein!
In your grey tank that moves as slow as hell, you have to destroy other PINK tanks in the GREEN desert! And little guys are there to run over. And invincible Saddam Husseins walk around at times to just be jerks. I think I'll pass...
Score: 2/10

And that's part two...
The amount of shooters are going down tremendously, but that won't save this cartridge now! We're almost done, so hang in there (you know I will.)

37. MASH MAN Big feet, small fun
Some guy with big feet is hopping around and must stomp his enemies. Well, triangles and eggs make up some of these enemies, and they are hard to see, resulting in many Mash Man deaths. I now have a headache.
Score: 1/10
38. They Came We have another black-out on our hands
*sighs* The shooter is back, but death only brings black. So unoriginal, why should anyone even bother.
Score: 0/10
39. LAZER LEAGUE Another shooter? So soon?
As a space cadet with a lazer gun, you have to shoot MORE targets in yet ANOTHER clone of EVERY SHOOTER ON THIS DAMN CARTRIDGE! I'M GETTING SICK OF THIS!!
Score: 1/10
40. BILLY BOB Gee, what genius in design made THIS game
An Indiana Jones ripoff, and a poor one at that. Almost unplayable. Even if you manage to dodge the random arrows and blocks falling from the ceiling, even though Billy Bob climbs up walls in about 30 seconds, you will probably fall and die in screen 2. Mommy make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!
Score: 0/10
41. CITY OF DOOM Game of doom
Climb up a building! The background actually changes as you climb higher up! And use your shooting powers to kill those falling bowling balls! Truth: This game is another waste of time.
Score: 2/10
42. BITS N PIECES Make no sense this game does
You are some guy jumping over skeletons and zombies. There's no reason he should even be in a graveyard! More crap! Action 52 is under a pot of boiling oil
Score: 1/10
43. BEEPS N BLIPS Losing our creative titles eh?
Okay, this game would be okay and all, but there's one little problem: IT'S TOO EASY! Many 1-Ups strewn about, so you won't be dying much. This pretty much ruins this game
Score: 2/10
44. MANCHESTER Heh heh, manchester
Some punk with his fists (no shooting powers?) goes to kill other punks with fists. Beware of orange things flying across the screen for no reason. Sound is important here, for a little tune plays whenever you jump. This is actually very annoying. Blocks with musical notes are all over the place. Need I say more?
Score: 1/10
45. BOSS Tsk tsk, more bad designs
Yet another unrecognizable figure as your character! Yet another part that you will NOT get past! Yet another piece of crap shoved onto this cartridge!
Score: 0/10
46. DEDANT Not the ultimate crap, but just boring
I've seen this game before, and it just bores me now. I didn't even want to bother playing another shooter like this. I'm sure you'd be exhausted and frustrated with these by now too. Let us press forth now!
Score: 1/10
47. HAMBO Words fail
THIS IS THE WORST GAME ON THE DAMN CARTRIDGE! SOME PIG THAT CAN'T JUMP OVER ANYTHING GETS ONE LIFE, AND HE HAS NO WAY OF SURVIVING! ARGH! ARGH! ARRRGGGHHH! JUST SAY NO TO HAMBO!!
Score: -357/10
48. TIME WARP TICKERS Fingers ahoy!
Play as two fingers, and flick things. They turn into the word ''Time?'' Your death also results in ''Time?'' The background is just scary. I am happy that the nightmare is almost done.
Score: 1/10
49. JIGSAW God to the rescue yet again!
This game won't load as well! THANK YOU! ONLY 3 MORE LEFT! WOO-HOO!
Score: 0/10
50. NINJA ASSAULT Crude and crap
As a ninja, you must kick the tar out of other ninjas. Them other ninjas are relatively weak, but birds and dogs moving VERY fast can take you out easily. Please move on.
Score: 1/10
51. ROBBIE ROBOT Cheap tricks prevail!
As Robbie Robot, you must shoot other robots and dodge shots from yellow things. There are cheap methods to finish Level 1 (the only way to win) but Level 2 has jumps, and this game has Ooze controls. Only one left, thank God.
Score: 1/10
52. CHEETAH MEN The grand finale
This game has... has.. A PLOT!!!!!!!! Mr. Action or whatever has been sucked into the game by an evil hand (I knew this game was evil ;) And now the Cheetah Men are gonna vanquish the the enemies from all 51 of the other games.

Now I know this game has a good purpose, but gameplay is AWFUL! You'd expect some strong cheetah men to rein supreme against some blue thing, but you'd be wrong. You will be killed by these unstoppable forces, if not death by pit. Just end the game now. You've done your torture.
Score: 1/10

---Overall 1/10
I spent 2 hours writing a review that bashes this piece-of-crap game. I think you get the idea.

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 05/26/02, Updated 05/26/02