Wall Street Kid

"A boring game deserves a boring review. Matrix effects included."

It is everybody's wish to become a successful businessman and to make loads of money. Who has never dreamt of just having to stay in a room and work on a computer ? Hey, wait a minute…That last sentence reminds me of someone…I'll let you find out for yourself, you should easily know since you are reading this review.

In Wall Street Kid, you are a brat who has to deal with the boring life of a business while attending to the needs of his fiancee. Of course, that wasn't that solid for a plot so the developers took various stupid ideas and threw them in. In addition to your overwhelming fiancee -I could use another word but I can't ; hopefully, you'll easily guess that word- who takes herself for a princess and who just won't understand a simple 'No', you are intent on buying a $ 1,000,000 house. Ha !

There's also this guy called Ralph who is searching for a suitable house. The game doesn't tell when he was asked to jump in but he just appears at the beginning and introduces himself. And thus starts Part I of your misery. Why ? Because Ralph is one hell of an idiot ! He'll frequently call you and each time, you'll have to say you are not prepared yet.

Wall Street Kid is basically a point-and-click game. On a NES. I'll let you imagine the controls. Oh yeah, the developers probably thought that having to struggle with an arrow wouldn't be enough, so they added sloppy controls. You have to press that A button 5 times whenever you want to make a decision.

This game is utterly boring and that Part II of your misery. You just sit there in your room and buy and sell stuff. It's interesting at first because it sounds fun but as time passes, you'll just feel like playing basketball with the cartridge however you'd do that. Sure, there are various objectives like buying the house, a car for your fiancee (who you'll want to kill after a while), a yacht and other useless things which usually cost around $6,000.

The game is actually quite short but chances you'll make it to the ending are as slim as Christina Uglyera. The excitement of buying and selling stocks quickly disappears as you realize how everything is random and everybody seems to be against you. This game nearly put me to sleep ! And even the amazing fact that my character could go to the gym did not make me cry out in joy. Maybe the black screen had something to do with this.

Graphics ? Where ? You just sit in your room. The only things you can see are a computer, a clock, a newspaper and the usual stuff you would find on a desk. The characters' faces usually appear in a window when you talk to them but there is nothing special about those. They're good and the game is colorful but who cares when everything is so boring ?!

As for music, you hear the same damn thing over and over again. From when you start to when you win (or when you are too disgusted to continue playing). It's quite a good theme as a matter of fact but when I hear a short piece on and on, I tend to snooze off.

Wall Street Kid is one of the most boring games ever. And if you want further proof about this, just writing this review about that pile of crap bores me to no end. Tsk tsk…

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I'm going to sleep now.

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 05/29/02, Updated 11/09/02