Volleyball

"Spike this one right into the garbage can."

Volleyball was one of those Nintendo original sports games with original titles, like Baseball, Soccer, etc. The problem is, most of them weren't very good. This one is no exception. It had that opening music that you'll find in Baseball, Pro Wrestling, etc. You know what I mean, that catchy little jingle. That's the best part of this game, that jingle. There are two different play modes in this one, 'game' and 'training'. They're the same thing, except that in training you don't get to pick your team. Teams: USA, USSR, China, Cuba, Japan, Brazil, Korea, and Tunisia. None of them have any advantage over the other. When you're done picking your gender and teams, you come to the game. It's played on what looks to be a slightly lopsided court, with 6 people per side. The number of people you control depends on the situation, and you can find yourself controlling 3 or 4 people at times. The players run on to the court, and then greet the other team by bowing to them. Why the hell would a match between the US and Cuba/USSR/Brazil/etc. involve bowing? I could see including that against the Korean or Japanese teams... Anyway, once you start playing, you'll quickly discover how bad the game really is. Every time something of importance happens, a very loud/annoying beep sound plays. The control is terrible, and the hit detection is even worse. You can completely miss a spike, and end up still blasting it to the other side. And sometimes it seems like you nailed it perfectly, but the ball drops hitlessly to the floor. As in real volleyball, there are serves, setup shots, and spikes, none of which look good, or are easy to do. Before you know it, the computer will be up 11-0 as they keep serving balls down your throat. I lost the first game I played 15-0, 15-0, 15-0. I only gained the serve 2 or 3 times in the entire match. The computer is insanely hard to beat, since the hindrances of having to control a lot of people and time everything right are nonexistent to them. It's breakdown time.

Graphics: 1/10
Just because there's something there, it gets a 1. The lopsided court, horribly made players, and crowd members that look like they're from the Beatles all drive the score further down. Even the net judge and line judges look like they're from the Beatles era...

Audio: 1/10
The funky title screen jingle gets this a 1. After the title screen, either mute it, or just rip it out of the NES (being careful not to damage it, of course) and throw it as far as you can. Well, you could always use it as a coaster, too.

Challenge: 9/10
It's too damn hard. The poor hit detection and supercharged computer players combine to destroy you game after game. Good luck getting even a single point, which is something I couldn't do.

Gameplay: 0/10
Watching snails race through glue is more entertaining than playing this. Perhaps if the hit detection was better, the computer didn't annihilate you every game, and the fans did more than just turn their heads to cheer, this might have gotten a 2 or 3. Seriously, if you don't believe me when I say how bad this is, try it out for yourself...

Overall: 1/10
I'm being very generous giving it a 1. It's all because of that trusty jingle. My suggestion is to buy this game and see how far you can hit it with a bat, golf club, quarter-staff, or whatever it is you use to hit stuff.

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 06/13/02, Updated 06/13/02