Ikari Warriors

"Sure if your definiton of warriors is Overweight"

Wow what has been a rather boring summer is coming to a end. If you didnt know by now the screenname DaAssMan is actually two, One being my friend Jack, the other being me. Seeing that my counterpart had written over 5 reviews this summer i think its about time that i get off my lazy butt and get to work. Now on to the game. Oh, where should i start... I got this game when i was about ten dollars when i was eight. Still to this day its the worst financial move ive ever made. The Ikari Warriors is the first of trilogy of poorly programmed, uninspiring, and visually lacking series. You would have thought that on you of this tries that SNK would have release a half way decent game ''but why waste time'' was idea goin though the programmers minds when they made these pitiful games.

Story(1/10)- Basical the story goes like this. Your flying ovr a jungle terrain and your plane crashes. When you land people are shoting at you. Why,I dont know theres no dialogue to explain the story.

Sound(1-10)- You listen to same boring tune over and over. After teh 20,000 it will literal drive you to madness. I remember at one point playing this game i wanted to slam my Mr.Happy in my mom's car door till my face turned blue from all the frustration and this is when I still eigth years old.

Graphics- The love the ''warriors'' have for BK doublewhoppers is clearly shown onscreen as our overweight herosmove at the pace of a sloth (widely considered the slowest moving mammal on earth). The only way u can even tell the differences between the two ''warriors'' is their badanas they wear. The blue banada from the legendary Crips. While the Ikari Warrior sporting the red bandana is obviously repersenting his homeboyz back at the L.B.C. Let me put it to this way the game is about as visually appleasing as Don King on a bad hair day. I give the game a 1 in this dept.

Gameplay/Controls-(1-10)- The Warriors move at a snails pace and can only shoot in diagonal up or down or sideways. Only problem is that enemies arent always in this locations. Every once in a while the ''warriors'' can hop into a tank or a helicopter but... this happens about as often as Haley's comet entering the solar system. Heres where the real problems in this game evole. You cant beat it. You come to this put of the game where there's turrets u have to take out. You take them out and nothing happens. No Game Over screen, No Thank You, Nada. Your warriors are left on the screen to get pelted away by missle the screen stops moving up. Maybe the designer thought that no one would make it this far. So I've come to the conclusion that the A,B,B,A code is actual a bug never intended for the public.

Final thought- Here's a Quote my conterpart gave me. Fool Me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. Fool me three times... I forget the rest but you get the point. By the way Mr.Lewis(Ray) sureyou didnt know how that body got there sure you didnt.

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 09/12/02, Updated 09/12/02