Barbie

"Barbie shows our NES gamers never to take LSD."

Okay, I didn't want to play this game. It was originally my sisters, but she made me play it whenever we got into a fight and she won, and I was psycologically traumatized for life after this game. Not only was the 6th level impossible like those old Atari games, but the first 5 were definatly LSD trips.

Graphics: 2/10
This was one of those late NES games, so you can expect these graphics to be alot better than the early ones. (Very detalied, because clothes that aren't even attatched to people's bodies want to kill Barbie, as well as Toucan Sam) I mean, Barbie is the tallest character ever to appear on an NES platformer (Ken, I'm sure you already knew this, but I have Gigantism, and I have an NBA contract)

Sound: 0/10
The sound really gives you a headache. Not only does it make Neil Diamond and Jimmy Osmond sound like O Fortuna, but it sounds alot like Barbie left the Stereo on full blast all night and then she had some LSD, which made it turn all bad and caused extreme Headaches (OMG!! BARBIE MUSIC!! DALE!! WHERE'S JOHN REDCORN?!) around America. This also lead to a big Asprin shortage worldwide, but the Asprin company made millions from the people who played the game.

Control: 1/10
The control is awful. Not only does Barbie walk around like she's got 20 school Backpacks strapped to her legs (AAH! BOOBS AND BUTT TOO BIG!! CAN'T....MOVE!!!), but the enemies move 10x faster than Sonic the Hedgehog equipped with the Bunny ears from Majora's Mask can run. (Heh, let's grab Barbie and make her Watch Dora the explorer!) Barbie can't jump without smashing her head into the Celing (OWIE!!! Um, I now know what Drywall mixed with electrical wires taste like, so can someone get me down now?).

Dificulty: X/10
The difficulty is the worst ever. On the 6th level, you are faced with an impossible dilemma, which not even LSD can fix for Barbie. So, the only reasonable explination is to give up, take some asprin, Bury this game in a landfill, and then disinfect the house.

Replay Value: 0/10
You will not wanna replay this game, even if you survive Barbie's LSD trips, you will not wanna replay this game.

Overall: 1/10
This is probably one of the worst games ever created. I think the main purpose of this game is to find a way to tell today's children never to take drugs or else you may find yourself in a game like this. If you want a game with alot of ladies, get Bubble Bath Babes. But if you want a game in which you're playing as Betty Boob and Betty Butt in the same Body, then go for this game.

Buy or Rent?
Buy, then smash!

Best part: Having it go away with my NES off into the Darkness of the Landfill.

Worst part: 100% of this game.

Reviewer's Score: 1/10, Originally Posted: 06/05/03, Updated 06/05/03