"It's Rare that you find a game this great."

Ah...Battletoads. The memories flood back to me. ^_^ Still one of the greatest (and one of the first) games I ever played. With such zany characters (and names... :D), crazy dialogue, and (for the time) SOME DAMN GOOD GRAPHICS made me fall in love with this game. It's unforgettable. :D

So..onto the review!

Story:Cliched or original?

Remember, we're talking about 1991...but regardless, this game doesn't have much of a story...then again, who plays Beat-Em-Ups for stories and who played games for stories in 1991? The story is like this:

Professor T. Bird (who is a vulture) and the three Battletoads are escorting a princess named Princess Angelica (who for some reason has no last name) to her home when Pimple (one of the toads) decides to take Angelica for a ride in his spaceship that looks suspiciously like a car. The not-so-sexy now but sexy-in-the-arcade-version Dark Queen (Yes, that's her name) ambush Pimple and he and the princess are captured. Pimple sends a distress signal before his ship is gobbled up, and it's up to you two 'Toads to get even.

Err...yeah. Nothing special really. In other words, not very complicated, nowadays cliched story. No wait, it was cliche then too...bah. It's not a very good story really, but that doesn't take away from the game. Or at least it shouldn't.

Story Score:5

Graphics:Eye pleasing or eye burning?

We're talking about the NES here, and for the NES, I think the system specifications are being taken to their limit. The color palettes are used perfectly and are very pleasing to the eye. The sprites themselves look and animate wonderfully. It's easy to recognize what's what, and each animal/hero/enemy looks nice and animates wonderfully. The graphics have a very cartoonish style, especially when you release a finishing attack when your opponent is weak, which causes your head/foot/attacking object to grow to exaggerated proportions, much like in cartoons. This is always very humorous. There are tons of different perspectives for levels and bosses, including one where you take the view inside the robot boss and have to pick up rocks knocked off the walls and throw them at the screen. And I do mean inside the robot boss and the effect comes out as pseudo-3D, meaning it's a very nice effect. There's also levels with parallax scrolling (both background and foreground), which I didn't even know the NES was capable of. The only problems are some slowdown when the NES is pushed to it's complete limit, but it doesn't take away from the game too much.

Graphics Score: 9

Gameplay:The meat of the game and the most important factor.

Upon your first look at this game, you're going to immediately think "Hey...this is a Double Dragon rip-off!" Well, don't judge a book by it's cover...or in this case a game by it's first level.The first level is very much a homage to Double Dragon, from the way the enemies appear to the way you have to beat up everything onscreen to advance. But wait until you get to the boss. The boss takes you into a pseudo 3D/part 2D battle where you view combat from inside the eyes of your enemy and have to chuck rocks dropped off the walls at him. Perspective changes constantly, and the fighting is also comical and a lot of fun. When unleashing a final hit, your arm can turn into an axe, your head into a ram's head, your boot, arm, etc will enlarge...it's very comical. The game is also not just a fighting game, but an action platformer game as well, meaning you have to jump chasms and other things like that. Plus, much like in games like River City Ransom, you can pick up items and use them as weapons to smack your enemy silly with. The items themselves actually come..from your enemies. Whether it is a crow's feather or a robot leg, if you can use it as a weapon, your toad will use it. Each level has you doing something completely different from the last, whether you are playing the aforementioned Double Dragon acting platformer, to hitting enemies while scrolling down a mile-deep chasm, to doing who knows what else, the game always has something fresh and new waiting.

Gameplay Score:10

Sound:Pleasing to the ears or ear-shattering?

The sounds mostly rely on the smacks, whacks, and thumps that are heard when you land a hit on something. The music is pretty decent, it's nothing memorable, but nothing annoying either...unless you count the pause music, which almost makes you not want to pause at all. The pause music is an annoying two-beat tune that gets stuck in your head and refuses to leave.

Sound score:3

Controls:Is it easy to control or frustrating and annoying?

It's not annoying at all, but very easy to pick up and get used to, even if you've never read the instruction manual.

Up moves you up, Down moves you down, Left makes you walk left, Right makes you walk right, you double-tap left or right to run and to access smash hits (along with Button B), Select selects players, Start pauses the game, Button A is jump and Button B is attack and or/pick up objects.

See? Very simple.

Control Score:10

Difficulty:Too hard for younger players? Too easy for older players?

This game is one of...if not THE...most hardest game I've ever played in my life. This game is fiendish and fast-paced, the enemies are relentless, the bosses are tough, and it requires you to truly focus. This game is definitely not for the easily frustrated, and if you are, the only thing motivating you to continue is the Dark Queen's taunts when you lose and at the beginning of each level...these taunts make you want to hang her by her ugly-black Elrvira hair.

Difficulty Score:10
Frustrating is not the word for it.

So..now for a recap:

Story:5 - Very simple and very unoriginal, but who played games for stories in 1991?
Graphics:9 - Excellent for the NES, but slowdown brings the score down.
Gameplay:10 - I have too many things to say about this one.
Sound:3 - Decent, but that pause music is hell.
Control:10 - Never been easier to pick up and understand.

(By the way, I don't do replay value, because I believe a game can last as long as you want it...for example, how fast can you beat the game? That's one way to make it last longer.)

Pros:
+Great graphics for the NES.
+Excellent amounts of gameplay.
+Tons of fun.
Cons:
-The pause music is worse than hell.
-Average music and sounds.
-Lack of story.

And now...the final score! *drumroll*

THE FINAL SCORE IS 8!

Reviewer's Score: 8/10, Originally Posted: 06/12/04