Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII

"You'll all buy it because it says "Final Fantasy VII" on the front, right?"

So, Dirge of Cerberus. The first real sequel to Final Fantasy VII. But if you think about it that way, it seems pretty terrible. To be blunt, this game simply does not live up to Final Fantasy VII in terms of gameplay, music, or plot. If you've seen screenshots though, you probably know that the graphics are really good. Anyway, while this is certainly not a suitable successor to FFVII, it may be worth a rental just to run around and shoot things for a while.

Story - 2/10

This was the main reason a lot of people bought the game, I think, and most seem to be dissapointed. Without revealing too much, I'll just say that the bad guys have godlike powers and never really get explained, the good guys are complete morons, and the game developers were probably pedophiles. Far from wrapping up Vincent's part of the story and bringing much-needed closure to the series, there is a set of files and an optional ending scene that scream "buy the sequel!" It tries to show several characters in a sypathetic light... and fails pretty dramatically here, most of the new/expanded characters are shallow fools.

To give you a taste of what kind of garbage the story is made up of, I'll just let you know that it contains a group of evil X-men-like beings who have super powers that never get explained at all, a character who can control computers because she's just that good, a "worldwide network" that didn't exist in the original and gets pulled out of nowhere for an important plot point and then is never mentioned again, a really annoying focus of Lucrecia (who, if you recall, dumped Vincent for HOJO), and a villain who looks like he came straight out of Dragon Ball Z.

In fact, the "secret" ending is quite possibly the most obnoxious ending I have ever seen. First of all, it stars a character who is modeled after the moronic Japanese music star Gackt, the guy who claimed he had developed special powers after almost drowning as a kid. Next, the character sounds like he's voiced by Count Chocula. Finally, without spoiling anything, I'll just say that it is clear that Square Enix is just pulling plot twists out of their hat at this point.

Sound - 6/10

Nothing especially special. The voice acting is good overall though. No music that really sticks in your head.

Graphics - 10/10

What can I say? Go check out some screenshots. This stuff is good.

Gameplay - 6/10

Pretty good. If you can ignore the story and not think of it as being related to FFVII, you'll likely be able to enjoy the gameplay. The only reason I rated this so low is that the game is pretty much over in ten hours, and even on Hard mode it is pretty easy.

The basic idea is this - You play as Vincent Valentine. You run around and shoot bad guys. The game is done in classic third-person shooter style, though you can switch to a first-person view. When you die, you can add your "score" to your experience, which causes you to level up and increases all your stats, or to your money, which can be used to buy items and upgrade your guns.

Ahh, guns. At first glance it looks like a very deep and interesting system - You've got three frames - Handgun, Machine Gun, and Rifle, and each of those can be developed along three different paths - Power, Speed, and Magazine capacity. In addition, there are three barrels for you to attack - long, medium, and short. There are some optional pieces of equipment you can add but for the most part they're nothing too special, your range of choice is really quite limited.

The problem is this - all of the guns feel exactly the same. If you've ever played Devil May Cry or Devil May Cry 3, you know what can be done to differentiate different types of guns. Using the twin handguns is just not the same as using the grenade launcher at all. In this game... Well, the guns *feel* identical. Most of them are useless, unfortunately. The Hydra (rifle) in particular seems to be despised by most everyone - it's does less damage over time than the machine gun or the handgun, and weighs more so you're slow while using it.

As for melee combat... what melee combat? Again, check out Devil May Cry if you want to see some awesome close-up fighting. In this game... Vincent has a three-hit combo. That's it. No variations, nothing. You can't even change your melee weapon.

Although Vincent has a double jump, the entire game is full of invisible walls - it looks like you could jump over the railing easily, but if you try you just get stopped in midair above it. This is especially irritating as the cutscenes show Vincent doing all sorts of crazy jumps and dodges, while in the actual gameplay his entire arsenal of moves is a double jump, a three-hit combo, and a relatively useless dash.

Summary - 4/10

This was supposed to have the story of a Final Fantasy and the gameplay of a Devil May Cry, but in the end it turned out to have something more like the gameplay of a Final Fantasy and the story of Devil May Cry. I don't think it's quite as bad as some people make it out to be, but in the end it isn't really anything special and is certainly not worth more than a rental.

Reviewer's Score: 4/10, Originally Posted: 08/24/06, Updated 08/28/06